Day 324 of the apocalyspe Global warming

I have more than 500 draft posts,.

Some start like this:

Why 4. 5 Billion Years of Fluctuating Global Temperatures Can't Explain Climate Change Today http://flip.it/1WS.rG

Maybe I will talk about that, I think today I will do a chronology.

I woke up and had my coffee.

I took a shower after the biking and weights so I did not shower, this morning, that will come back later in this short blog.

 I was anxious to get the work done that I set out to get finished originally by Halloween and now by Wednesday.

Over the morning I managed to finish the design and drafting work on electromagnetism and its relationship to fusion which was gratifying.

Then I went to eat and came back to a homeless person sitting on my porch.  He also had not showered, a kindred spirit.  I said I would come back to that.  It was an awful thing to witness, him sitting there like he owned the place with his shoes off in a bucket, smelling for all the world like he had not showered in weeks.  People don't need to shower, but he was filthy.

I did not chase him off, but neither did I engage with him.

He volunteered that he did not know I was there, and suggested he was there to consult with me.  I asked him about what and without listening for long determined, well confirmed my determination that there was no reason to continue the conversation and referred him elsewhere which was all an act since he had just found a place to sit and neither of us expected anything from one another.

Later in the day he would come back and case my car.

Before that, however, I finished enough of the paper so that all I have left is to renumber and organize the parts that were already filed and are, therefore, only supplementary.  If I can finish that early tomorrow, I can file the first one and then there is the onerous task of cutting the second paper down to 30-60 pages from 130.  I have already largely planned that process, so I feel comfortable I can finish it Wednesday before the storm.

Then I swam, not a terrible swim, 2400 yards, then I walked.  I ate my dinner, a banana, while I walked.  At the bottom of the walk, before the uphill climb I put on the two videos which I had only grazed when they were sent and they kept me going, as much knowing where they came from and knowing how they could give some peace, the scars as passengers, like the scars on my heart, there was something in the second one also, but I cannot remember what it was; something about not wanting regrets which was troubling, but it was nice to hear something upbeat.

I am avoiding even the jokes about the election at this point in time, things have gotten so out of hand, some unbelievable, even in a world driven by inevitability; this world seems hopelessly stupid.

If I do keep to my schedule, I will have almost a week to prepare for my meetings; that is good.  I don't know that it will help so much because I only need a day or two.   Perhaps I will pick up one of my books and write.  I would like that, I think.  I have spent too much time on the science, now I feel like I've reached a resting point.   I've said that before, but I tied up the last of the quantum loose ends today and don't really have any plans for any others.

And that is that, that was my day.  Day 324 of the apocalypse.

Day 323 of the apocalypse and Dussehra, the triumph

Yesterday I rode, then swam.  Today I rode and lifted weights and rode again.  Always in search of a few minutes sleep, never finding it.  I do feel on that last and steepest, longest hill up I got close to some endpoint of things, but not yet.

I have my work cut out for me, the 7 days I had left, at least technically, have been cut down to 3, but I think I can do it, no work of art, but a work of adequacy, buying quite a bit of time, a year or two.

Dussehra is particularly appropriate to this point in time, so I wanted to share it.

I mean to discuss a different evil, but then there is you and I.  I do not want to be evil, nor do I want to see triumph where compromise is more appropriate.

There is evil in me.  Demeaning the person you respect more than anyone else, this would be something that only a sick person would do, and yet I have done it without thinking.  I hope I did it without realizing it, at least I hope I started that way.

I'd like to be done lying, that doesn't mean I'm done with love.

I am not going to deny love.  When do I find out I am done with love, when does anyone know?  Even on our deathbeds we look for a reprieve and if this exercise doesn't kill me, I am not close; nor am I close to giving up.

Night 321 of the apocalypse; space and the vacuum

I'm going to talk a little about love, but the science question of the night is Why isn't space a vacuum?  That is the right question.

This is the wrong question:https://www.livescience.com/why-is-space-a-vacuum.html

Here is the discussion:

If there is no vacuum, then where is my life being sucked?  Into what?

Mood music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCZblN6pBqA

Cheating makes you miserable, figuring out who you are cheating on is more complicated.

Every minute, I want to tell you what?  Something.  That doesn't help things.

Love is exquisite, addictive pain.  It hurts so terribly bad, but it is more desirable than gold, more important to have it than water in the desert because it is more fundamental than life and thirst.

Love is also pleasure, ecstasy by definition if you have a real love.  

To deny your self the one in the name of the other is hypocrisy.  How many sins do I carry and what price is paid by me and those around me?

I have known that before, but only once when I knew it was unadulterated, not cut with passion, not cut but overwhelmed, but something that lasted afterwards and without passion, for decade after decade, never fading, neither separation or change.

Would it help if you knew that I love you more than anyone else?  More than I love myself, for I do not love myself.  Even having accomplished so much more than I could ever have imagined or hoped for, I find only a deeper darkness in my unique knowledge.

Would you believe it?  Without proof?  I think you would, I think you do.  There is a hatred attached to the wrong type of love, love of a tyrant, for example.  So too it is justified to hate the wrong way of loving.  So you can believe and hate.  I cannot get into your head, I can only speak for myself, but the crystal clarity of my feelings and your insightful and trusting nature make me believe things that should be true.  

With all my heart I love you and believe that you love me the same way, the pain and the ecstasy; I could not live if you made me believe I was wrong.  So I refuse to believe what anyone else would know instinctively.

How many times have I begged to share with you the minutia of the days and nights.  How many times have I walked in the dark, rain hiding my tears, turning toward the darkness lest my weakness be visible to everyone else.

You don't know how much I hate you for not being there at night.  If I was sleepless and you were there the world would be full of infinite options.  Instead it is only full of darkness and terrors that have to do with seeing a void, a vacuum where life should be.

I said I might include this.  It is, after all, a blog about physics.

I call this the 10 or 12 or 8 or however many line proof.

2f(n)^(2^n)  (f(n)=(1,2,3,5,8)  n=1,2,3,4,5

That looks like a nothing equation, but for n=1-3 it defines space and time.

n=4 it yields the e=mc^2 equation

N=5 and N=1 unify gravity with the strong force.

N=4 defines the neutron, 

N=5 defines the black hole.

When you overlay the two parts (2^n and f(n)) you get the periodic table of the elements.  That last one even surprised me, even though it should not have 

It explains why you already made your decision before I asked the question.  

How could you support me?

Day 320 of the apocalypse, 7 years ahead of mit, now princeton too and still being spoon fed

I got some disturbing news today.  I'm not going into it.  It has been a while since I've been here.  My time is limited.

The screen is hard to read, my eyes have gotten much worse just lately.

I am going through withdrawals.  Alright, that is spelled wrong but even when I get close and try to read it it looks right to me.  By the time you get it it will be right.   There will be other mistakes.

Where to start.   I have reached out to get help, but I am not sure what that means, there are some conditions where the cure is worse than the disease.  I know what I want for help, but what will be given to me?  Will it come at all?  I reach for things and they disappear like ghosts.

I don't want to be cured from the pain, I want to be cured from the things that keep me from feeling it.

I am falling apart.  I feel my body separating into pieces because of what is going on in my mind.

I figured out the proton election interface.  It was, like all things in the model, obvious once I saw it, although I will admit to a great amount of discomfort with the solution.  If you ever see it you will understand.  And yet, yet ... the universe spoon fed it to me, like it has done with some many of the complex answers, so many of the things I could never have done on my own.

The paradox issue, the fractal issue, the atom design and now this thing.  All things I could have never done on my own, but the answer was given to me.  Why?

I swam again tonight.   I had no choice.  I did not swim yesterday so I did not even have the broken sleep that passes for my nights.  I was at my office at 530 in the morning, Id had coffee, breakfast such as it was and I cleared out the weeks built up emails, and I wrote down what I had been given in the night and then I drew it out and now I'll edit the drawing.  I don't have enough time.

I have seven days, a handful of working days left.  I don't know whether to do this by halves or try to do it right or not at all, but I think I have no choice but to try for something, and  halves are all I have to work with.  There is only half a life left, only half of me, I'm am more than half blind but I passed my last physical, they don't care if you're blind as long as you don't have a high white count.

The mental pain turns me to physical pain, the physical pain turns me to exercise, the exercise gives me low blood pressure.

I am alone.  I have the answers to the issues raised in this article:

https://scitechdaily.com/quirky-response-to-magnetism-presents-quantum-physics-mystery-there-must-be-some-exotic-physics-going-on/

I had the rough answer before, but the detailed answer was spoon fed to me after I had a rough edged version which I had some time ago.

On the curvature of space, there is this: "... “space-time tells matter how to move; matter tells space-time how to curve.” How this relationship plays out at the quantum scale is not known."

This article is from Princeton:  https://physics.aps.org/articles/v13/s114

It is frustrating because I know exactly how this happens and I have written it out.  I have a 10 or 12 line summary, I will post it soon.  It is all in the book, or most of it, the reconciliation of the black hole is not anywhere except in an unpublished video and it will appear in the next patent.  Then underlying science is all there, the universe did not spoon feed it to me, at least not in the same way.  I was in the hot tub and the solution came to me and I tested it and it was good, but it was not spoon fed, except to the extent it was spoon fed into my brain.

So I am 7 years ahead of MIT and Princeton, but I have no support.  Perhaps it is my attitude, why doesn't the universe spoon feed that to me, or happiness.

Day 314 of the apocalypse, true quantum mechanics and the big bang

I am stuck between 172 and 173 pounds, although I am not trying very hard.  I have been exercising every day, but many days, like eight days ago, the exercise was not strenuous.  A 30 minute bike ride without excessive pushing it and a walk which had no cardiovascular elements.

I realized that my 11/24 deadline was actually 10/31, the october surprise.  I have had to throw myself bodily into this thing which I was by no means ready for.  You might say 2 weeks is plenty of time and it is for anyone normal doing anything normal.  I am not.

The frustrating thing about being 7 years ahead of everyone else is that I'm too far ahead to be recognized, but not so far ahead that I don't see these articles where other scientists are slowly catching up.

Published articles on AuT cover both of these issues.  What is the difference between the AuT articles and these other than AuT was first?

https://phys.org/news/2020-10-quantum-mechanics-reality-person.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-8820671/Another-universe-existed-Big-Bang-black-holes-hold-proof-existence.html

The difference is that AuT provides a specific model.  The difference is that AuT and I mandate these results.

The difference is that everyone else has a different job, a different life, whatever.

AuT explains in detail how time can be eliminated as a dimensional result and how information can be fixed by observation causing the cloud-like electron to a point, a net charge location by watching it, effectively fixing the charge in place and dropping out the wave qualities.

The vibrational effects of ct1  change based on memorized results to fpix clearly define an expanding and contracting universe, perhaps one which expands on either side of a next compressed state.  this explains hundreds of things, like earlier than expected galaxies and black holes and larger than expected amounts of heavy elements.

I've been effectively black listed to protect their turf from someone who has the answers but they don't want them coming from a non member of the tribe as it were.  How long can they silence the science remains to be see when you have articles like these where others are coming up with the same results, while not the same models, as AuT.

Recently I was trapped by a puzzle on the observed vrs calculated black hole which solved itself using the math of AuT in a spectacular form, totally predictable in hindsight.  It was fantastic both in terms of how it happened and that it happened and that I did it myself.

I'm not unhappy with my team, but neither do they inspire me in the least.  I'm hardly a giant among mortals, I'm just directed, under the control of the universe in every way; waiting for my break, which never seems to come, always just out of reach.

I am tired, I'm at the end of my tether, but i only have two weeks and to the extent that I don't get where I need to be next week, the pressure will begin to exert an undue influence over the work that needs to be done.

And every day, there is more, not less.