102422

It is Monday.  Slept ok yesterday despite minimal exercise and tea for lunch.  at one point in time a cat came a curled up beside me to take a bath without begging to eat.  Today will be busy, but it seems unlikely i will pursue any of the army grants except the white paper which is something that is looking more and more like the short email i have sent to some of the army program managers.

I need to look at the large fusion grant again today, see if it is still there or not.  No word from the national labs, they are so slow it is frustrating.  In any event anything before next year seems unlikely although i feel like some things are out there, certainly the 4 year thing is still pending a year later; unless it is not.

I am curious about how things will go over the next few weeks as I finish up the year in terms of science, patents, grants and presentations.  12122 will introduce the recovery phase of life and an excess of stillness until around the 15th at which point i should be mostly healed, just in time for the holiday season which i suppose will be well underway, having stated to some extent at the end of next month.

It will be a little bleak without any funding, but I have made quite a bit of progress with things and i have no reason to complain about the progress on every front except funding right now.  This week and next will involve the exchange of a lot of information.

Verified to __ digits that the AuT method of calculating pi with fpix follows other methods.  It appears based on this that at least curvature is the result of an iterated equation and that a natural consequence is that all of the universe is fractal.

I have also verified that the first 3 lines of the pte can be calculated in broad terms as to teh proton and neutron counts utilizing overlapping Fibonacci spirals constrained by a circle defined by pi.

It seems more likely than not that manipulation based on targeting the resulting fractal elements and the iterated equations giving rise to them would lead to efficiencies where those elements were targeted.

This was lunch today.  I received some very negative views from a friend of mine i sent this to who had otherwise wanted to go to lunch; but i assure you it was delicious if you like this kind of thing.

This is what I was eating a year ago today for lunch, a chile on top of a garden burger (lots of onion since you weren't there I didn't have to worry about my breath.

The morning was spent organizing and the afternoon is being spent working on the necessary edits to the next provision which I may not file today because of the need to fix drawings along with the edits needed.

I did two bike rides in the morning (to the office and back) giving me 10 workouts (cheating) in the last 7 days and a whopping 88 IM to start off the week.  I really need to swim this afternoon, but too much work to do and this evening is pretty full.

It's late afternoon.  I managed to get through the majority of the changes before word started acting up, this was mostly in the first 17 pages of the provisional which is problematic because 5-14 need more attention than I can give them this late in the day when my mind and vision is fogged pretty badly.

.What that means is that I need to pick this up tomorrow when there is a lot of work to deal with tomorrow which is otherwise a full day.  No email on the meeting yet, so i have a little more time to deal with he details there.  I am a little anxious.

I have some great pictures for today which I may post tomorrow.   Its worth seeing anyway, the right way would have been together last year but perhaps there is a reason for how things happened. It still doesn't seem right to think it will never be shared. 

102322

 I did not get much done yesterday  Made a stab at cutting down the 54 page document to 10 pages, but ended up just doing some editing.  I will make another stab at it today, but I think I need to print it out.  I did get the edits out and work through the new claims a bit so I cannot say that nothing happened there.

I also did the amendments to claims required by the action that came into the office Friday, although there are some terms that need that are the same which need to be put before each of them, newly added most likely.

I watched the video, I met gus on several occasions which is interesting, but I know herndon very well which is also interesting.

I have spent some time thinking about what moving on means and i spent a lot of time thinking there was no reason to think about saving the planet anymore, it just comes down to making money; but the science sort of said that already and it is a bad attitude issue.

The swimming yesterday was not great.  While 100s under 145 happened, with no one to swim against the average was 230, 14 strokes a min.  Last time it was 218 (on the 18th and it was almost 50 min compared to 46.  I am also down to 8 workouts in the lasst 7 days although I will add at least one more today, holding relatively steady at 9 workouts every 7 days, up to 11.  I could get there today, I suppose; riding my bike to the gym and doing weights later; but one of the things is doing work, likely cleaning out the garage on Friday which is work, but not the same kind.  I am clearly not riding or lifting weights often enough, it appears like serious weight training (as opposed to a full pull ups or pushups) is down  to once a week, a couple of bike rides, sure to drop when it gets cold again, I am only swimming a couple of times a week, i am walking enough, but even the elliptical type exercise is only once or twice a week.  Altogether it is enough, but altogether it is not as much as it should be.  The swim yesterday being a pretty good example, it was a hard workout, but it was hard because i am getting old, not because i was going as fast as i needed to go.

I don't know why i miss everything from a year ago.  i have done a lot to deal with making a new future, even one alone; but it hinges to a large extent on what happens next with this physics project; tomorrow i will file the next provisional, deposit the rare check to cover the cost and check on the response.  Then I will finish and publish the book draft although I know that will lead back to the patent.  It is hope that is missing.  How often have I written those words in this blog.

I have a lot of big ticket items coming up.  The tree which is going to be 2500, I could not ave the extra thousand and pretty much need to give up on it; property taxes which are on my desk and need to be taken care of in December, there are other items.  I am expecting a lot to ease that for now, but the grants are not there, at least not yet and i need to be checking on that, the patent stuff needs to happen, but the grants are the immediate thing.  Meetings on the first will advance that; but funding continues to be elusive.  I don't know whether i will be there yet to present, it haunts me, because i have to move past this somehow.  It is funny how much saving the world was, i suppose is, secondary to that.  What kind of person puts love ahead of saving the world, i suppose it is a little better than those i deal with who put profit there.

It is light outside already.   Time flies, still have much of my coffee which is nice.  At 9 i meet with my electrician friend and I plan to deal with several issues if he will cooperate.  He sort of owes me given the nature of things; i have bailed him out and while there is a chance that i will over sufficient time be made whole, it appears unlikely it will happen on the timely basis we agreed up and i have no plans to force the issue.  if my science project works out, i will not need to do so and if it doesnt then i suppose that over time i will get to some type of parity.  if only he was a tree guy.

Field theory has gotten a lot of my attention lately.  It is the thing that creates problems, the place where so called standard model theory hangs it hat, particles being fields manifested by position in space.  Fields are the barriers that my model breaks, granted that i have a barrier at ct1 where i can see what is happening past it; but cannot readily explain it considering that the place where whatever happens has no time or space or even information in the sense that we experience it; but there is apparently a computer back there anyway.

A train is moving in the distance.

I will come back later.

Well, I think the gfi might have had the wires reversed, something I did not check so I will wait and if the electrician shows up we'll go over this together and if not, I'll just take it off and confirm it myself. It isn't that big a deal, but I want to stay of the safe side.  These are risks I do not have to take yet.  

The good news is that the gfi was installed correctly, no work there.  The yellow light is normal apparently.  I'm not 100% satisfied, but the power worked fine and the electrician said it was right.  The bad news if it can be called bad news is that the ac to dc converter went bad after a very short time.  This is a 9 dollar item, but a nuisance to install.  One more thing on a long list of things.

I also managed to get the pump working.  Tilting it also seemed to help with the load which I'm not sure I understand; but I accept.  

It's relatively early. Much of the legal work is where I need it to be but not close to finished. I may make a stab at the white paper tonight but it's unlikely. If like to get some additional exercise but also unlikely if I run any errands.  I think I'll post this and come back tomorrow. 

102222

 It is late, almost 7.  I did not wear my watch to bed, but i suspect i got plenty of sleep.  did my anti hallucination exercises just in case.

I should go swimming later, it will be warm today, winter has retreated at least for the next 10 days and teh weather will be perfect again except for walking the dog when the cool weather is better.

I have to go check on the patches at some point in time this weekend.  There is a lot to consider there especially what to fix in the deep end if anything.  The longer the pool is open the worse that will be and i am now waiting for cement to get here and maybe rain.

I am thinking about going out to west mobile to the pool super store instead of getting the material online so I can finish the pool this weekend.  It is not like i dont have plenty to do.  I have a book to publish and the patent to file, the former being second to the later and i am ready now i think for the patent even though it will never be finished.

My patent attorney seems to think it will be harder to get a patent then i do; but we will see.  the last thing i sent did not get a response and perhaps it is good or bad news.  It is a story which backs up my work after a fashion.  A real life proof, short of fusion, but still a proof of sorts.

Of course I have not added anything to it yet and there is the response to incorporate and shorten; all things i can do this weekend while i wait for response that are likely not coming.

This is a busy and weird time, waiting for people and things to happen, but also being bussy with them.  And abandoning things.

I need to prepare some stuff.  For the patent the ct5-6 thing in more detail, the contest white paper, the last of the emails.  A lot of this is choices for today and the weekend, but i think filing the most recent version of the patent, making a reference to the concepts that have already been brought together and then publishing the next version of the book will be the targets, the grants will take a back seat.  For the weekend.  Next week will be something different.

Did 2000 yrs with 2x400 and 1x300 leaving me exhausts made a chefs salad for lunch. I'll be getting the surgery in a little over a month then my posts will be "woke up did nothing went back to bed." 

The idea of  going to these places alone, hidden oasis in the desert.  A year ago today.

It's early yet, I'll publish this because netflix has a showing of the documentary about the last slave ship tonight and i might as well mention it before the night gets here.  not one of Mobile's finer moments, but an interesting piece of history.

102122

 Well, down to 10 days for the 1031 deadlines which is probably enough time and certainly for the contest one.

There is a lot of other stuff to do.

My exercise yesterday was cut short.  This morning i have to meet a cousin for an early breakfast and i have been lazy this morning, sleeping till almost 6; probably because of the cold.  i think i slept for almost 5 hours straight, weird dreams about living statues

I hope to work some this weekend, but there is competition for my time and a lot of this is reading.  maybe i can do that in the hot tob although i dont know if i will want to do that; it depends on the workout, etc.

If i am so busy why not work on it right now.  I need to warm up might be the excuse; but whatever it is, it will wait.  The next 3 days will be intense no matter what

 Did not get enough done today although I started the grant work and at least figured out what to do with the new thing that came into my office with the mail.  Need to redo the reference in the election too, I hope I remember.   

I patched three of at least 15 holes and ran out of the cement so I need at least 30 lbs to finish which I'll need to order online meaning the repairs are going to have to wait till at least next weekend. 

At least I know I have the technology to finish so the work wasn't wasted. 

I did two short bike rides and a short (2.3 mile) walk and my stretches for my back and to get my hernia back in the right place, I patched 3 of the holes in the pool, so I need 30 pounds more just to get what I have exposed, after the results come in I may want to go for 50 pounds to get the rest of the pool although I think my material costs will still be around 1500, I'll have to recalculate.

About the reaching the end of this thing which haunts me, I am reluctant to go that way; but I don't know what else to do?

I wish there was some way to make you see that i am not dead, but perhaps i am.

102022

It is 39 degrees, cold out, although there is power and such.

With   the help i am getting i can say that i have caught my tail after a fashion.  It gives me a moment to look at the biggger problems, including the massive inflation which will have to happen to deal with the 31T national debt and the question of when that hammer willl drop to the extent it is not coming down now.

Canned goods for poor people, not sure what to suggest.  I managed to get rid of all variable type debt, that timing is good.  Real estate is a mixed bag, ultimately the place to be but its a slow reaction comparitively speaking.

The surface of the moon with more yet to chisele out.

Cash is a terrible place to be, better to be; but stocks, i am not so sure.  building a fusion reactor probably is not a terrible investment.

Its 630, i have been up for over an hour.  where does the time go. I wish i could say i have been working.  I did some minor stuff, but nothing i can write hope about.  I did find an example of using fractal features whcih is interesting.  Science proving i am right just in time after a fashion.

It will warm up tomorrow and I will have to get serious this weekend dealing with the pool.

The issue likely has a better analogy in the story of the emperor has no clothes.

Oh, i do declare, waving a fan before them, how dare someone say it.  And yet it has to be said.

 The secret to becoming an excellent physicist - Big Think

That’s the big secret: if you want to become competent at physics, you have to take on physics problems and become adept with the tools and techniques needed to solve them. 

I received the edits today although i have not had time to look at them. somehow managed to work all day without knowing for certain what i had done other than a little reading and correspondence, a call or two.  The 31rst wont be unmet, but will likely have little to it.

I only got 26 minutes on the eliptical before the gym closed for a thursday ball game.  No weights.  I could have done more of that here, but again the hernia is an issue.  how lucky you are and how you must count your blessings not to deal with the vision and the failing body which was getting very close to being ok and now i have to survive till the first of december and then for a couple of weeks at least of limited exercise.

It is dark and i hav some reading to do, these posts are too long and too often in any event.  i may be moving past this.

101922

Why isnt everything adding up?

The math is doing fine, up to an irrefutable point, but life does not appear to be tracking as well.

It is jst beginning to get light out, I have had my first sips of coffee; my work, largelly untouched is beside me.  I took a shower today at the limits of the heat i could stand and i am wearing this silly looking sheep shirt which is comfortable and warm; but the heat has not started working yet.  Sometimes I can tell that the last of the chlorine is washing off of me in mornings after the swim, the vast majority of it leaving after my post swim gym swim.  In NM those were nice because I was very water conscious and could be just a little less so there in the gym.  I know there are water experts there and my friend in NM is havign issues with his neighbor copper mine.  If I slept with you could I get advice?   That is just a dumb thought, for at night i miss you the most.

Constrained by is the phrase of the day.  It is a complex concept, but only one of two that I developed language for yesterday.  I easily have the 10 more claims in my mind, the real question being how much of them is new and how much is amendment.

The pressure is mounting to file the next utiltiy and there is an army thing due in two weeks that I have barely looked at.  Perhaps a couple of them.  Some time in there is the meeting with the pto and the university which undoubledly will somehow schedule at conflicting times on the same day.  I hope to have more of that later today.

In ukraine things are getting colder and i hope that the ukrainians willl have khearson to shelter in during the coming winter insead of the fields around it.  People are starving in somalia, ethiopia and haiti while fortunes are wasted on munitions in europe destroying millions of gallons of sunflower oil and crops.  In Brazil it is only a matter of time tilll the last tree is cut, the people are piling on top of each other.  All of these countries could well be gardens of eden but for the inability of people to act logically, the woman who has two babies, one of which has already starved to death when she could not even feed one; being repeated on scale with countries like brazil and teh world itself.

I offer a cruel logic to the world and the battle to protect that is only starting I fear.  This PTO meeting will tell mee a great deal if it even happens, because it is their choice.  There is a third election coming up within the next two months.  I have not even looked at it yet but it is on my calendar.  That will wait and that is easy because these are the same thing to a large extent and while I can only do so much, each issue raises a potential solution.

Controlling a wider environment with different compression and decompression elements; that is the claim that goes with the drawing.  The sequential and combined application of these things is what is targeted and that actually is set out even this early.  Call it luck on the inevitable modeling either way it is shown.  It is good to talk  these things out with you. 

At 2 I was overcome by an exhaustion that left me incapable of work so i broke out a couple more weak spots and identified a half dozen more maybe from removing the water pressure. I know I should break them out too. It's getting to be a significant part of the pool. That only added to the exhaustion. 

I couldn't focus on the intense claim drafting so I stopped where I was. I've set up a key grant meeting, talked investors and patentcounsel and the big issue will be dealt with on the 9th which is close to the deadline but gives me almost a week.

I did several of the claims and got two more cle hours so if I can rest for a few minutes, maybe walk the dog then it will be a pretty full day if I can just get to the rest of the claims. 

I have to either get to the army grant tomorrow or abandon it.  There are only 11 days but I have 3 weeks for the patent now so the time works if I cash start tomorrow and it isn't a full solicitation. 

I did a little work on the next provisional including bringing the selected drawing into a type of compliance. 

It's been a full day and tomorrow is Thursday meaning much of the week is gone. 

Well walking the dog turned out to be a good idea although coming home meant seeing what I don't have instead of what I might have.

I'm sharing the draft of my pitch, it has my ugly mug on it.  I'll learn soon whether it is good enough or not.

I'd like to talk about the future, but I'm busy in the present which threatens to drown me; but I did get a promise of a little support.

It's cold and I have much to do before I sleep.

Mississippi River hits historic low levels amid drought | Watch (msn.com)

What's that song about the Mississippi river running dry?

101822

 winter, in cullman al freezewarnings this morning.  It is late now, the sun is down and it is getting cold here.  I bought the chissle I needed and found the other things at work and b rought them to the pool, got the burlap i needed also; all the little things make the materials cost higher, probably 1500 now.

i think if you had said ok i wouldn't be doing this alone. Too bad.  I scheduled on paper the big fight, although if it happens or not I dont know.

I did one of the first corrections last night,surprisingly satisfying i think it helpedmesleep even though it was a small but signficant step.  I then went through the first 10 today along with other work, but mostly that leaving the next 10.

During the long swim, 2000 yards with 2x400 ims plus a 200 im for the full 1000 surprising myself; i came up with a couple of thoughts and wrote down the one that i remembered which may have been the most important one.  I hope  so.

everything is halloweenrightnow and silver city is advertising theday of the dead.  Except that Christmas is also creeping in as it always does; christmas trees at the hardware store in the middle of october already gathering dust; the artificial ones.  Still it is a festive season and Halloween will be here and gone soon enough.

A reminder that we are all skinny inside.  This must be from a bike ride two years ago.

no ghosts yesterday, perhaps they are resting for halloween, they rarely come and never when expected almost.

This is a picture from a year ago.  What happens next may well include going back there and then what will I do.  I am much too engaged with thoughts of someone who doesnt even know i am alive.

101722

 The pool is now powerwashed and looks relatively pristine except for the craters which need to be filled.  That process will likely not start till tomorrow because it has to dry for a day or two.  By next weekend it will get the primer coat of paint and probably the final coat  if the weather cooperates and it can be refilled in 7 days.

It wont matter as it will be cold soon, i hope the painting can be done before the leaves begin to fall in earnest.  I do not think there is a cover any longer, that is something to consider. no enough sun for the solar heating without cutting some massive limbs, but we will see.

Today I got a video out that i needed to get out so it was not a wasted day.  I am trying to deal with the claims, something I got uploaded; but the corrections that are necessary are way beyond me, the drawing enablement issue too.  I ended up not setting up the appointment today because the  time frame makes two weeks work.  I can set this up tomorrow after I have a chance to look more closely at the claims and try reaching out one more time today.

This is a shorter post. Perhaps I should give up on you and stop altogether. It would be difficult like dying again. If dying have the ghosts. 

It's been such a very long tone but I've gone a long way to still be here. The weather continues to deliver on the evening, but winter is coming. 

101622

 Ghosts.

I know they are just symptoms of my failing vision unless they're not of course. One was much closer in the kitchen and one was a cat I think. 

I dont see ghosts every day and they dont help with my mathematics, if they ever do then i will be mad i suppose.

slept till 630 almost and went to sleep early so i made sure to do my anti hallucination exerciss.  it was light so i could let the cats     out without them driving me crazy first.

the pool surface is like the moon, pockmarked with craters, vacuumed out most of the debris.  the patching material is here, probably not enough of it.  i think it should be patched first.  at least one article says powerwash before repairing cracks and some of the loose material will probably be gotten up, so i suppose that is right and even obvious.

my arm was tired after weights the day before, push ups the day of, and swinging the hand axe (both sides) to break out the weak spots.  I am sure there are others.  Getting the worst of them is not getting enough of them.

Here's where I got off the trail and circled the moutain.

Lost among the ruins in the mountains a year ago today.

And lost   ever since I suppose 

101522

 It is almost 630, still too dark to see how things ended up last night with the pool. 

There is probably going to be almost a foot of water because of the nature of the shut off valve (a floating valve) which hopefully worked last night.   The rest has to be drained with monitoring, but that will happen while it being power washed, so its a two fer in some respects. 

locating and breaking out the weak parts was tough enough and it looks likely that I will have a contractor patch and paint so it should be easy if a little more expensive.

Materials should come in around 1200.00 with a few hundred dollars in left over paint and the pump will be there for whatever although it was not expensive.

What we should have seen a year ago.  And should have eaten:

That may not look good, but there were few meals out last year.  I was swimming close by, likely tied off since there were only two lanes.  Wouldn't that be a fun meal?

In the middle of a scary hike.  Not lost or nearly so, but off the trail.

I guess enough regret for now, I have to look to the future.

It's been an ok day.  I spent a lot of time getting ready to send the email to set up the meeting.  While today is the 30 day out day; Monday is as good as today and everything will look a little better.  There is a lot of work to do; but it isn't as bad as I was worried and I was able to secure everything in a way I had not used before which was a little techy.  I fell asleep for a few minutes in the hammock to the sound of the water draining from the pool, I pulled off the lights which will be a pretty big job to fix; but not as big as last time.

There remains a great deal to do, but tomorrow is another day.  Even though I've only done construction and walking today I am tired; even after the short nap.

As always, there is too much unsaid.

101422

 woke up feeling dehydrated.

hernia was worse, but brought it under control with the yoga.  Did back exercises too.

Has it been 72 hours?  The pump is still draining the pool.  I need to pick up boots today along with a few other things.  I hope I can find them locally, like desantis wore, oyster boots, although i can do with any rubber boots as i will have to be in that nasty water, even if it is shallow some and working with polymer paints (need a stirrer for that too) and tape.

It is too dark to see what things look like back there.

Well, the pump was not doing well so i dredged it up and now its working find, but I probably lost several hours while it was clogged or whatever.

Had to do some updating for the grants, thankfully it was not too difficult, nonsense forms were prepared and uploaded.

I wish you were here to help me, to talk through this stuff.  The 30 day deadline is happening tomorrow and I'm not there yet.  Close; but not there.  I'm going to have to set up the meeting without help and i have a lot of work yet to do on the claims before I get there.  I need to get at least one affidavit. Maybe. 

12.1 is the new date to deal with the hernia raising the issue will I be there on the day I was going to get it.   The hernia is getting to be a bigger issue. The yoga still works but otherwise, week it needs to be fixed. 

There is so much to say and do. The grants were repaired and it's mostly taken care of but the claims and response need to be dealt with this weekend in some preliminary way. What a life. 

101322

 swam 2100 yards, started out as a straight crawl for 1500 and i just couldn't stop.  did all the im surprisingly.  First some fat person tried to outswim me and didn't last very long, then the swim team got in and i had to try to keep up with them and before you know it, 2100 yards.

Considering how i couldn't sleep last night might be a good thing, might not.  my insomnia doesn't seem to care what i do anymore.

It is just now 5am.  i was worried about leaving the pump running all night, had dreams about it, but it still has a few hours of water even though it is pumping out at a prodigious rate, murky stuff that makes me think i need oyster boots.  I cant see to the bottom so i suspect the pump is on its side so i need to right it before i go to work so the shut off valve will work, but there is no rush to that given thtat i cant see to it through the murky water and dont really want to wade deeply into it.

Today i get the grants out and hopefully finish with the response so i can set up that meeting and not worry with it over the weekend.  Plenty of other stuff to worry with.

I was back to seeing ghosts this morning, one uncomfortably close. What does it mean, what do they want, if a figmentof my mind, what do i want.

My back even after the swim does not hurt but it feels stiff even after doing my back exercises.  none of those words is right, its like after a pinched nerve, but no pinched nerve first.  i will need to walk today.  it is a little muggy outside, unfortunately.  i saw cool weather on the report, where is it,  held up by the storm or coming this evening to ease my walk.

ScienceAlert: Scientists 'Blown Away' by New Treatment Restoring Sight to Blind Mice.

https://www.sciencealert.com/scientists-blown-away-by-new-treatment-restoring-sight-to-blind-mice

If only I was a mouse instead of a rat,  eh?

Distant thunder has gotten closer as a cool front, the one i mentioned hearing about, apparently rolls in this morning.

It is still dark out.  i havent seen the cats come back in but i suspect they have come in too.  it was too dark to let them out, but i had been out with a flashlight at the pool and supposed it was safe enough.

The dead tree is standing at 3500 to take down.  Ouch.  This is the third tree of this type I have had to deal with.  I will get a couple of additional estimates today.  I also need to deal with some doctor stuff.

Well the rain is here, but i doubt it will last long.  It will keep me from checking out the pool but i was not going to do that till it was bright.  Hopefully some clean rain water will ease the murkiness.  This afternoon i will begin powerwashing weather permitting.  The time it took to draing the pool, with the half horsepower pump that seemed to generate a pretty strong stream of water, will be over 48 hours with no breaks of any consequence except moving the pump for a minute or two.

A tree stump from my walk tonight. 

The grants are all away though they need work. 

101222 Something wicked comes this way

 wicked bad insomnia last night starting around 2am and eding at around 430 when i went back to sleep till 6.

The pool is drained down two steps.  Even after running all night it did not drain past the last step and the deep end has not started yet, although i should be in a good position to start power washing it as a large part should be exposed by this afternoon.

I will have to back wash the sand after it is drained and refilled or change out the sand, the second seeming a little overkill right now.  i hope the pump survives the idleness.

The deep end is quite murky, not sure what the bottom will look like but this algae is like a super fine dust and the pump seems to have no problem with it.  plus the chalky water from power washing will also be diluted if i start now which might help keep the pump from being clogged.  either way the pump has to have fresh water run through it after the treated water from the pool although i intentionally let the chlorine dissipate a little before draining, hence the murkiness although i suspect it would be murky anyway.

Probably time to make the first of several trips to the hardware store, high quality rollers (to prevent loose threads in the polymer) lare and small and enough for both coats, a roller extension (threaded stick); some thick painters tape since i will be putting on two coats both polymers, this seems like a time saving idea.  That is probably 30 dollars worth of stuff together, certainly under 50.  the paint and supplies will end up being close to Fifteen hundred dollars, the water will probably be fairly expensive.  Once it is drained i need to fix the lights, but i have everything for that and its probably within the estimate anyway; 1000 of it is the primer and paint.  I will  try the power washing before i go because if it does not get all of the black algae i need to add the sand papers to it.  this  should be a fun family project, but that doesn't exist in my world and i wonder if it exists in yours.

This blog post is about insomnia and pool maintenance, time to get to the more difficult work.  I am not going to get the ai help i was hoping for; but i learned a powerful lesson and will budget for it.  likely wont get the grants anyway; but i am going to budget to license or buy an existing ai program and the expertise to edit it.  Not going to reinvent the wheel.  My experts job will be to evaluate it and then adapt it to my algorithms.

And here is something calming to think about.

101122

 Patterns, what happens when you start to see them everywhere?   Do you begin connecting pictures with strings?

I am almost at the 30 day point.  The nature of events led me to getting very close to finishing the argument, by far the easiest part of the responses.  I have only a few quiet hours to go and that will likely happen today as will shooting the video that is due this week.

I have a list of points to follow, but they are for everyone else, the insane rarely fall into molds.  I am waiting for responses from several places and each one carries a little more work with it; but each one offers hope or tragedy.  I have never had so much opportunity to move forward or be disappointed but there is no shortage of work.

Today would be a good day to ride my bike, but i got a good swim in yesterday and if i do exercise, something more controlled seems like a good idea.  I bought Aldi pumpkins (cheap) and got some cookies and ate too many; my teeth hurts to think of it, the first ingredient was sugar.

622 already.  where did the morning go?  It is stil dark out but not for long, still cool out, also not for long.  perhaps i can walk the dog tomy office today.  that would check some boxes.

Back to the response, it is time to reach into the reserves and see what it will cost.  i have several options there, none of them great, but none too expensive.  Or i suppose i have to pick the least expensive one for better or worse.

i have a 5 hour seminar today.  that will be difficult to fit into everything, but will have to be relegated to background noise to some extent because the response has to be finished and it is just one of several deadlines and the need to file grants, most finished thankfully, with or without the unexpected potential help which is so critical is upon me although it is a repetitive task, actually easier if the help does not come, although perhaps without the help a little futile. At least i have data to use.

And there is the next patent which is due and overdue to some extent, perhaps the one closest to what needs to be done.  How I wish i had help there too.

10.10.22

 Another interesting date.

Had a funeral to attend for a friend who died young and probably because of a minor surgery complication.  Note to self, try not to die on operating table.

I suppose you want to hear about Mr. Grouper Burger.  I'd give it a 3 out of 10.  It really wasn't terrible, not too fishy, etc.  I'd call it bad restaurant adjacent.  Unlike the other frozen fish product I'd call it edible and will likely finish it off; but I would be unlikely to buy it again, although I will give it another test since there are 4 of them.

Well I did 2000 yards at last, including 1000 im, only one was a 400, but at least one way.

Niagara Falls Live - YouTube

May will be here before I know it.  What to do?  What can I ask at this point?  I'm not the first one to ask the question.

Fortress Around Your Heart (Lyrics) - YouTube

This is a meal from a year ago, out on the deck table, a quiet lonely type of meal, sweetpotato, pecan and blueberry-banana pancakes.  Simple, yet not so simple.  I cannot remember much about the mood of the desert that day.

10922

Because you like birds

 I have brushed, flossed and gargled, now if there was someone to kiss.

It is actually the evening of 10.8.22.  I had a pnutbutter and jelly sandwich for dinner, no picture, it was the last of this watery product from publix.  good riddence.

I've started to order the rest of the stuff for the pool cleanout although with my account balances in freefall i am not too comfortable with that.  I was expecting a grant in 2019, its 2022.  Well, the end of 2019, but it looks pretty likely that i will be 3 years in the hole, the price, i suppose for being 3 years ahead of everyone else.  I think the economy has done well for me so while I am struggling a bit for the moment, I am not in the dire straits that appeared likely a few years ago or even the slightly less dire straights 12 months ago.  Indeed if i were not supporting so many others, or if my real estate sales would just go through, things would be fine for the next few years anyway.

I am still hoping for positive grant news this year even if funding is a year off, although many things will not be decided till next year and the work continues unabated with the accompanying costs either way.  I am baffled by much of the waiting.

The VC part has gotten complicated and the decisions i am waiting for from the big labs complicates this further.  Those rulings should be in any day now, so where are they?

Still, my most immediate problem was taken care of today with plenty of time to spare and I am ok with the result if not satisfied.  The next deadline is a mere 10 days off, although it is largely finished unless the help i want turns up which would be an unexpected bonus and worth the extra difficulty that would come with it.

Sunday morning.  Back to cereal and coffee.

Watched a special on russia vs ukraine and what happened in the beginning.

https://youtu.be/ZZkRvCQ8gDM

Thats a link.  clearly a propoganda piece, but i have supported ukraine for a while, even when it seemeed hopeless.  I do not understand how these things get so out of hand.

I have a todo list of things with critical deadlines, and then i have the other list, the one that includes things across many different areas, the lists of people and things to include in patents that have to be filed or those now that have to go in responses.

Things about compression increased in an area that are there and surprisingly hidden at the same time.

I am worried about the one who was supposed to help me with this, but i am also worried about how to approach funding.  Next week will be important, i say that almost every week now, but it is like that.  I do not have expectations, the gift of 6 days means that when and if things fall apart next week, i will have time to take what i already have and file it.  I do need another source of data; not sure where to look, but that data may be handed to me next week or it may continue to be a problem.  I could be doing a google search right now instead of typing this; but my one thing that i had to get done this weekend was done yesterday morning and i will work more later i suspect.

Is it for nothing and what should i be doing to speed things up or even slow them down?  Who should i  follow up with and who should I write off and what press releases should i be writing and what support should i be looking for ad on and on.  Everything is moving nicely relatively speaking, but why should it.  Why shouldnt i suddnly decide that i am wrong, delusional, that onc again in my life i have convinced people of something that is not real, in this case threatening to change every aspect of reality.

What is my reality really?

I walked with no music or sound other than those ambient, thinking about things too numerous and the miles (3) melted away, punctuated by the dog jerking to smell things for no reason.  It was a peaceful walk, but it is over now and I am not planning to swim or do any other calming activities.  Speaking of what was not calming...

Spent 350 at the grocery store, doesnt seem like i got enough.

I did get these grouper burger things which will be an interesting experiment.   4 of these for the price of one at a restaurant which is not necessarily the reason to buy anything, but then its also calculale as slightly less than the price of mid level tuna fish.  Anyway, its an experiment  The last one (fried fillets) was a complete loss.

Big risk taker here.

I would like to call about this and everything else, but it isnt time and perhaps it never will be.  That may well be on me, but it may not be only me.

I am close to finishing the edits for the response draft sans claims; and at this point those claims likely will fall on me which will require more work than the less critical set i sent in yesterday, just yesterday.

Here's an interesting, if predictable piece, makes me nostalgic, weirdly:

The Neighbors' Window - Oscar Winning Short Film - YouTube 

10822

 it is staying dark till later and the cats are yowling aournd m, how i detest this place without you.

after alll of the exercise the last 2 days i will only do what i have to today, although there is much i have to do.  while it is still dark i have  been at work for some time doing those things i did not have time for yesterday and even baking a rasher of bacon.

The response is ready as i worked on it for some time last night although there are changes that i envision in a blurry manner today, they are nothing that would prevent me from filing it and at least being done with it; an hours work even if done slowly.

My back seems to have a permanent stifness in it even after these several days after the back work of post hole digging past; but none of the pinched nerve pain.  I wonder which way that will go, but i need to continue with my back exercises as much as possible.

i almost never eat breakfasts like this, its the exaact same cereal eveery morning, but i was up early, made the bacon and figured i would do it so i coudl send a picture and say, see wht you are missing.  could have made hash browns too,but tht was a lot of food.

The russia-crimea bridge explosion is big news.  I heard car bomb, now I'm hearing bomb on the train.  All very strange.

I ended up doing a 10 miles bike ride which caused my hernia to bother me, but I'm less than 30 day away from the surgery.  The yoga helped.

I did file my election so that work is out of the way for now.  My friend in new orleans has disappeared. That isn't you. It worries me. 

It is early afternoon but I am a tired as of it was midnight and I need to shower and get back to work. 

For you so you will know I never stop thinking of you I will post this and come back to it. 

10722

 I slept late, over 9 hours of sleep. I don't like starting behind, but the claims, while a mess, appear correctable.  This is drudgery of a sort and being short on time doesn't help; but I feel comfortable early in the morning with having a second draft by late in the afternoon.  I have a target of 20, and 1 is down; so 19 to go (coming from those already in place).

Well 3:00; I was hoping to be further along by now; but still making progress considering how optional this part is.  Even so, my plan to go swimming at 3:00 is dead.  Looking at 4....

Might just walk today.

Ended up swimming 1700 yds all the im as a 430 reward for getting a usable draft of almost everything, although there is more to do and filing wont happen till tomorrow.  Took this picture while walking the dog, a shorter walk, a little under 2 miles which included part in the dark through haloween decorations, listening to talk of tactical nukes and love songs.

  

10622

 Things have gone fair today so far. Much work to be done although I can get by without some of it. I have to pick the claims up again later and while I'm laying in the hammock I have to exercise later. 

The weather is perfect and it was quiet for a while. 

After relaxing for quite a while, rode bike to gym and back with weights so I clocked 75 intensity minuts (seems like it should have been more) over as many minutes (i guess more would have been impossible).

Thee will likely be no help for the claims so I've printed out the 4 pages that I have to work with.  I'll start on that tonight and finish it tomorrow and still have a day, albeit Saturday, to go over it.  Fortunately, I already made some inroads and given time constraints and everything else I will likely keep it relatively simple and go for clarity and timeliness over perfection.  The main problem is that the help needed with the prosecution of the 11/15 action cannot be relied upon.

I need to shower and my guts are all churned up so I will keep this short so you can respond to it (as if).

10522

 A little poorer this day, but I did get a reprieve on the nearest deadline to 10/17/22 due to government regulations.

What I wouldn't do for a good secretary right now!

The 8th is 3 days off and I haven't heard anything.  I'm just waiting for some claims.  I suppose tomorrow it will be time to start editing the ones I have.  This is not really a challenge, its just a multi-day project that I was hoping I'd outsourced.  I can also buy a month cheaply which is not a terrible idea if push comes to shove although writing claims is not that big a challenge given where things are; or perhaps where they are not.

I have been getting the little things done even though this one deadline looms ahead of me.

I'm headed to your city, i know that would start my heart beating; probably has little effect on you.  Details are unnecessary and I may not come after all.  There was an opportunity to come tomorrow, for example, in days past, I would have counted the seconds; but things are different now and I have quite a bit to do.

There has been no memories from a year ago in a couple of days.  Is the past vanishing?

I will keep this short, i finished off my IM today so while it has not been a good workout day, it is a day that is finished.  There are Halloween decorations and pumpkins everywhere which makes me happy, but then again I am not.

A look into the past

10422

 Well, finished a couple of draft documents not what they need to be but probably good enough to file the grant.  I plan to take one or two more stabs at getting information on data sources and then start filing these so that maybe, if everything goes well, I can have them all filed this week alleviating the need to work over the weekend.

I believe that subject to substantial editing which I've made printouts to complete, I'll have something more or less ready to submit tomorrow covering at least 90% of the items required; while stillwaiting for some feedback.

There are assumptions to be made.

Swam a very hard 1900 yards, wasnt a hard workout it was just hard to do. Got over 30im and did all 1000im also, confusing as that wounds inlcuding one 400 im at the end.

If the world ends without me holding you again, i suppose it isnt worth saving, but i still worry about it and my strange place in saving it.

Things are afoot, tomorrow will be a busy a telling day.

Sleep well,it is enough that i cannot be saved.   There is no need to be dragged down with me.

10322

 After a morning at an event I am pretty wasted.  May have been the sugar from the bread pudding which I could have lived without eating.

I was able to meet with who I wanted to meet with which was nice.  One more thing I can take off of my mental calendar.  I was hoping to get out some work this afternoon, but I'm not feeling iT.

I have to walk the dog, but i need to swim to deal with this exhaustion.  Its always something and probably a little of both.  I am taking a breather.

When the sun goes down I will walk the dog  Do i swim first?

There is no answer to things here, even something as simple as swimming which is now a production.

it is a crazy mixed up world which Im not ready for; never have been.

I walked, but didn't swim.  This stupid hernia things, seems to be changing, not for the better.

I have my steps and my stairs and my sleep for the day, but I also have my hernia.  I have a lot of work to deal with tomorrow, I'm largely out of time.

Tomorrow is a full day, we will see what gets done then.  More emails to send, more work to do, more to finish but I did get certain things done and there is more to do.

I can forget the personal things for the moment, I have too many deadlines too close together.  Perhaps it is time to move on, perhaps it is long past time.

10222

 Well, there will be another opportunity in May potentially.  what should we do there?  Or perhaps the question is what should i do, very disappointing.

There is a giant dead tree to cut down.   Not sure when it died, a neighbor pointed it out when i was working on the fence temporary repairs. I caught the neighbor spraying weed killer over the 8 foot fence into my yard.  I wonder if the weed killer killed the tree.  it is an interesting thing to ponder.  I should ask the neighbor to pay the 1500 to take down the tree.

Very frustrated, shouldn't have to wake up day after day like this. i miss you. my back is stiff, but continues not to have serious problems.  Need to keep doing stretches, even though I am exhausted  Even though I am frustrated, i did sleep well, likely the result of the first pool swim of the season, despite the constant attempts through the night of the cats to keep me up.

After the last year I begin to think about what electronic dating would look like.  While i have some purient interest in the concept, when i think logically, it sounds awful, catfish and communicable disease.

I have a lot to do today.  With only 9 days left I hope to have a finished draft to send to my small team and request suggestions.  Need to find large data source still.  I need to look at the documentation for suggestions.  Maybe I will send an email in that regard, ok, to think that was to have done it.  I do think that I have the basics finished.  That includes ideas about the new constant, although it is an area of discomfort at 93% matching.  I am uncertain if i can take meaning from that although the atomic stuff is not dissimilar.  Only pi has stayed the course with complete accuracy.

30 minutes elliptical and 15 weights later, back feels fine, how I don't know.  Working on the narrative.

https://youtu.be/s9NIBZfVBW4

https://youtu.be/3aguZjkVLaE

I finished the narrative enough to send it to the programmers for comment although much remains to be done.  tomorrow i have meetings all day and tuesday i need to focus on the market plan or whatever they call it.  a lot of that is in the narrative, but the point is that it is time to finish and file these things, this being a 3-for-one means it will take less time, but still time.

10122

 It is dark outside, the cats are screaming to get out with the coyotes, driving me a little crazy.  after yesterday, i am being careful with my back which is looking to pinch a nerve.  i wonder what it looks like up close, how old and stiff and arthritic.

Today i really need to swim, with the change in temperature i have been avoiding the outdoor pool which is too green in any event.  i need to drain, sand and paint it in the next 30 days.  I have not even ordered the materials to patch it.

Today I need to take all the assembled or disassembled pieces and get the first doe grants ready to file.  I basically have this weekend and next week to get it finished and it has be be worked into everything else.  I passed on the response to get the claims fixed.  it is likely that i will have to grab those back next week but i would like to have one of the grants finished by then since the other two will look the same and one is compliant which will be easy and the other although critical, likely cannot be made to satisfy the examiner who is closed to new models.

The budget is another issue as are the numerous forms which have to be laboriously put together for the first one and then copied for the other 2.

Everything goes onl hold to write another, what can you call it, anoter love letter?  What else could it be called?  A blog post, i suppose, but that does not express what i feel when i sit down to type in the darkness.

I have said it before, i am t oo old for this. I feel fine much of the time; but I fall asleep early and so the energy which seems on the surface to be normal  comes from a limited pool and after the heavy lifting of the day, my body sends me messages which the young feeling me cannot understand.

I finished the book on electrifying America by Jonnes, a sad ending, I suppose; but also instructive to me.

I walked the dog (2 miles) to the library to return the book and then around the nearby college to get the distance in.  Still planning on swimming later, but I've spent an hour cleaning up (just touching the tip of the iceberg) the first of the 3 grants.  Going to take a break to make some lunch.

Wrote in the changes into the document due in 11 days and started the first one, but there is a long way  to go.  Then i went to the gym pool for the first time this fall and swam 1800 yds with all the im, albeit at a 200 im pace.   That plus the 2 mile walk has not exhausted me and I continued to go as easy as possible on my back.

I worked a little on the outdoor project, testing my thoughts and in fact i was able to add a little security to things, but there is much to do there yet although I can pour concrete tomorrow now.

I saw a field of sunflowers with a rusting tank in front of it, the current battleground, so incredibly beautiful and horrible.