All the things I should have done
All the things I failed to do
All the roads I failed to take
All the choices made me quake
Because of me you are not here
Because of you I live in fear
All of these things made me
I embrace them
because without them I don't exist
The other life is someone else
I will never be them
I cannot live their life
My life is one of terrible remorse
I regret the love i did not get
The chances I did not take
the risks where I failed
Where I was born
and where i will die
even though i am not there yet
I regret all of these things
the choices that failed to come to me
the opportunities that failed
those failures made me who i am
the sun shines on my face
it will never shine on the other one
the one where things happened
differently
that person can never feel my pain or joy
that person cannot sit and worry
about all of the things they failed to do
nor can they rejoice in their great success
or the little things that make me smile
there is only me
i embrace regret
i am the only one who can
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Saturday, April 6, 2013
how I won the war with the united states Chapter 1 by B.G. Wang
Ah-So Chapter 1
Thanks to Mr. Greg for allowing me to use his blog to tell my story.
You might ask why I use his internet-diary for this purpose. It is a fair question.
First let me say that I am hiding now from China. For despite my success in representing my empire, I am persona non-grata in China and I will tell you why in due time.
Mr. Greg wrote "China's Weaponized Economy" and "World War C" so he has already disclosed the results of that war, so it does not hurt him for me to discuss this here. He is already far past the harm I can do. I will not claim credit for his work, but I will not deny playing a substantial part therein. There it is, I am not as grateful as I should be.
I am BG Wang, but you can call me B.G. or just B. I was born in a small village in China in 1960.
It was a strange place to be born, to you but to me it was home. The exact village is not important. It was a mountainous region and I grew up in communism at its most authoritarian. People were routinely imprisoned or killed for acts of non-patriotism. But this was not such a problem in our village. We were far apart and that is part of the reason why my story begins there.
There was a deserter from the US military who had married a young woman from our village during World War II. He taught at the school and insisted that we learn English and so early in life I began the study of English. I sometimes imagine how different my life would have been if he had taught Russian instead.
Alas, my poor teacher and many who I loved were killed as a part of the Chinese government's program to overthrow the united states, but that would be many years in the future.
China in 1960 was a very populous country, but very primitive. Our technologies were imported and we had to spend a lot of time keeping them up. However, keep them up we did. Manufacture, albeit on a primitive level we did. And we were a wise and industrious people. We were an obedient people for through many generations those who did not obey died. And we were a war-like people although our war-like tendencies were of a very devious nature as our history is of dynasties at war with one another and with the outside world.
Everything is my early life was good except for a bully named Chow who becomes my step father and abandons me at a port in American. That story will come later, and for now all the main characters in my early life are dead except for my "controller" who is corrupt with geisha girls and opiates and alcohol and cigarettes and all of the other sins of the west.
My family is far beyond his reach now and I will not let that bloated turd take credit for my victory And you stupid Americans are already dead and for that matter so am I.
But this book is not about some future tragedy, it is about how I, single handedly, won the war with China...for China. This war is about how I defeated the United States leaving China as the sole super power.
Next will be what I call Chapter 2.
B.G. Wang.
Thanks to Mr. Greg for allowing me to use his blog to tell my story.
You might ask why I use his internet-diary for this purpose. It is a fair question.
First let me say that I am hiding now from China. For despite my success in representing my empire, I am persona non-grata in China and I will tell you why in due time.
Mr. Greg wrote "China's Weaponized Economy" and "World War C" so he has already disclosed the results of that war, so it does not hurt him for me to discuss this here. He is already far past the harm I can do. I will not claim credit for his work, but I will not deny playing a substantial part therein. There it is, I am not as grateful as I should be.
I am BG Wang, but you can call me B.G. or just B. I was born in a small village in China in 1960.
It was a strange place to be born, to you but to me it was home. The exact village is not important. It was a mountainous region and I grew up in communism at its most authoritarian. People were routinely imprisoned or killed for acts of non-patriotism. But this was not such a problem in our village. We were far apart and that is part of the reason why my story begins there.
There was a deserter from the US military who had married a young woman from our village during World War II. He taught at the school and insisted that we learn English and so early in life I began the study of English. I sometimes imagine how different my life would have been if he had taught Russian instead.
Alas, my poor teacher and many who I loved were killed as a part of the Chinese government's program to overthrow the united states, but that would be many years in the future.
China in 1960 was a very populous country, but very primitive. Our technologies were imported and we had to spend a lot of time keeping them up. However, keep them up we did. Manufacture, albeit on a primitive level we did. And we were a wise and industrious people. We were an obedient people for through many generations those who did not obey died. And we were a war-like people although our war-like tendencies were of a very devious nature as our history is of dynasties at war with one another and with the outside world.
Everything is my early life was good except for a bully named Chow who becomes my step father and abandons me at a port in American. That story will come later, and for now all the main characters in my early life are dead except for my "controller" who is corrupt with geisha girls and opiates and alcohol and cigarettes and all of the other sins of the west.
My family is far beyond his reach now and I will not let that bloated turd take credit for my victory And you stupid Americans are already dead and for that matter so am I.
But this book is not about some future tragedy, it is about how I, single handedly, won the war with China...for China. This war is about how I defeated the United States leaving China as the sole super power.
Next will be what I call Chapter 2.
B.G. Wang.
(2) of (3) weapons of creation-How to convert T space to G space-question of the day
2 of 3
Before continuing with this discussion of the most dangerous application of this theory, I want to mention that several people have asked for graphics, so I've included a picture with me and one of the few physicists who will listen to my theories. I'm the one without the bike helmet.
We observe fundamental particles and these are given "spin" to define their relationship, and spin may be the appropriate term for time as applied to tendencies. We are talking about various tendencies to return to G-space from the projection along time.
Before moving on, we can ask, why not have just a homogeneous type of matter? Indeed there is no reason why not to, so we can discuss what happens to create matter.
Matter exists on different times (space-time doesn't exist in this model since space is just a function of the projection over time as is matter). Somehow there are various types of time applied to tendencies, similar to the display of color by using different colored dots to create a television projection. In addition, the tendencies are displayed on time along at least three dimensions.
Unfortunately, even these dimensions do not exist. Worse still, under acceleration, they begin to separate from time from one another.
In a super-collider where these types of particles are observed, we are moving matter fast enough so that these changes (imagine a movie moving a different speeds for different characters) cloud the fundamental nature of the particles so that you might observe movement outside of time which would mean at the level of G-space.
Well, someone should be paying attention. Creation is the Ultimate weapon. This is just as it should be. But is it something we can use? Isn't that a star trek episode?
If everything was created and everything in its path replaced, you have a weapon. This is the current model of the universe in creation. There is a less violent E- hologram universe, because there is no real destruction, just the release of events along time. Everything being projected onto time, there being no real matter or dimensions, merely an engraving on time of those things. You can strip time but you cannot destroy it by having another time come over it.
In our String Universe, there was violence. Either Time was violently separated from the singularity in my parlance or time was attached to tendencies within the singularity. You can call the event whatever you like, but the big bang was an explosion much larger than any earthly weapon and something happened in the singularity to create this effect.
If gravity is the function the projection of matter onto this time on which everything is displayed in some fashion then that was also created as well as a possible anti-gravity.
The question of weaponizing space conversion is the question of nuclear war on steroids. Before discussing this in detail, it is good to remember Truman's quote on nuclear weapons-they are designed to kill populations, not armies.
This is the experiment that should be considered carefully.
Obviously if you get a-hold of G-space and you figure out how to ignite it (release time or start burning tendencies with time) you can get all the anti-gravity and T-space (o-space) you want because all the g-space is in one place (the singularity) even though you get an apparent spread using time which I've explained as promised previously to the extent you haven't already figured it out.
Will come back to that later, here is the picture I promised:
Friday, April 5, 2013
(1) of (3) Weapons of creation-converting G space to T-space
(Draft)
As mentioned, if we are only manifestations (via gravity) of the tendency of time to return to G-space several things become self evident: (1) We can, as observed, affect time across long distance as well as move from wave to particle forms (since both are just reflections of gravity); (2) it is possible to go from O-space (or T space) to G space and it is possible (as every minute we experience shows) to go in a non-violent way from G space via project to T-Space; and (3) we are not even in T-space, but instead we are just a projection from G-space and (4) you can violently create T-Space from G-space in a fashion which is destructive to everything in T-Space.
One thing is not immediately evident which is why there are multiple fundamental particles, but that answer is cleverly and in retrospect, not surprisingly be a function of simple 3 dimensional geometry.
Sadly, this means that the Higgs Boson may or may not be necessary. It also means that our observations of fundamental particles is necessarily flawed unless there is a different structure to the universe.
I posit that we exist in G-space. If not, unless you can probe past T-Space to G-Space and then figure out how G-space (a singularity where everything happens at once and time is folded back into the fabric) exists you are really just sitting in a corner counting fleas, so to speak.
This is the reason why G-space is given that designation. Without a simple explanation of something so difficult to justify, difficult even if you accept our universe which is the projection over time of at least a part of G-space, that explanations of how our universe derives from the projection of G-space onto time is largely irrelevant. I refer back to the story of the blind men trying to identify the elephant (the one at the tail says it's a rope, the one at the leg-pillar, the one at the side-wall and the one at the trunk-snake) except that we are looking at the smallest part of the smallest hair on the tail until we can get past G-Space to what exists around and in addition to G-space and why G-space exists at all.
We have to come back to that, I'm afraid. The purpose for this entry is to touch on why there are multiple fundamental particles. As indicated above, the number determined by examination of "matter" and "energy" is fairly irrelevant (not from a physic point of view, but from the point of view of a more fundamental discussion of T-Space (a projection). We are, for example, as individual critically affected by matter and energy, but in G-space those are irrelevant considerations since they exist without the projection of time. You cannot be hit by something that cannot change position, so there is no threat from a weapon except to someone in T-Space and we're all experiencing life at least like we are in T-Space.
As a side note, anyone that wants to look at T-space and G-space can speculate that someone who was in G-space decided to throw out time and watch things happen and that individual in G-space would know everything that happened. Moreover, if that individual created G-space before throwing out time to watch things happen, would have actually made everything happen. For those of you who have a difficult time with this, think in terms of someone who makes a movie (knowing everything that is going to happen) and then projects it on a screen to watch it. It's fairly explicable if strange.
As mentioned, if we are only manifestations (via gravity) of the tendency of time to return to G-space several things become self evident: (1) We can, as observed, affect time across long distance as well as move from wave to particle forms (since both are just reflections of gravity); (2) it is possible to go from O-space (or T space) to G space and it is possible (as every minute we experience shows) to go in a non-violent way from G space via project to T-Space; and (3) we are not even in T-space, but instead we are just a projection from G-space and (4) you can violently create T-Space from G-space in a fashion which is destructive to everything in T-Space.
One thing is not immediately evident which is why there are multiple fundamental particles, but that answer is cleverly and in retrospect, not surprisingly be a function of simple 3 dimensional geometry.
Sadly, this means that the Higgs Boson may or may not be necessary. It also means that our observations of fundamental particles is necessarily flawed unless there is a different structure to the universe.
I posit that we exist in G-space. If not, unless you can probe past T-Space to G-Space and then figure out how G-space (a singularity where everything happens at once and time is folded back into the fabric) exists you are really just sitting in a corner counting fleas, so to speak.
This is the reason why G-space is given that designation. Without a simple explanation of something so difficult to justify, difficult even if you accept our universe which is the projection over time of at least a part of G-space, that explanations of how our universe derives from the projection of G-space onto time is largely irrelevant. I refer back to the story of the blind men trying to identify the elephant (the one at the tail says it's a rope, the one at the leg-pillar, the one at the side-wall and the one at the trunk-snake) except that we are looking at the smallest part of the smallest hair on the tail until we can get past G-Space to what exists around and in addition to G-space and why G-space exists at all.
We have to come back to that, I'm afraid. The purpose for this entry is to touch on why there are multiple fundamental particles. As indicated above, the number determined by examination of "matter" and "energy" is fairly irrelevant (not from a physic point of view, but from the point of view of a more fundamental discussion of T-Space (a projection). We are, for example, as individual critically affected by matter and energy, but in G-space those are irrelevant considerations since they exist without the projection of time. You cannot be hit by something that cannot change position, so there is no threat from a weapon except to someone in T-Space and we're all experiencing life at least like we are in T-Space.
As a side note, anyone that wants to look at T-space and G-space can speculate that someone who was in G-space decided to throw out time and watch things happen and that individual in G-space would know everything that happened. Moreover, if that individual created G-space before throwing out time to watch things happen, would have actually made everything happen. For those of you who have a difficult time with this, think in terms of someone who makes a movie (knowing everything that is going to happen) and then projects it on a screen to watch it. It's fairly explicable if strange.
Why I'm (not) rooting for China! The NKG-China War against the west
Note- for details, see World War C (fiction) or China's Weaponized Economy (non-fiction)
We are a little past the crossroads, but I'm not just rooting for the winner.
China openly enslaves its people, as opposed to the United States which does it with more subtlty and unconsciously; China shows more short term intelligence than the rest of the world combined.
But China still is autocratic. Their lack of long term intelligence (reflected in their embracing pollution to win the war with the west, might lead to the destruction of life on the planet earlier than it would otherwise last.
One has to admire how far ahead of the United States their espionage state has risen. The fact that most of the world (and apparently the Rand Corporation) is blissfully ignorant of what is going on does not endear me to the West. It does make me sad some times that i was not born of China. It is a type of warrior state that I think I could have done great good for. Not that I could do a better job of waging the war, but perhaps I could focus their attention more on long term intelligence (assuming they do not have some information which renders their reckless approach more logical than I see). Of course, it could be that the very polution that seems such an "Achilles Heel" is in fact more of a "smoke" screen (ah, the puns we are forced to accept in English with all of its figures of speech).
China creates the appearance of coincidence and legitimacy by only acting outwardly through surrogates. Increasing paranoia might take this (1) to NKG, (2) middle eastern (and other) terrorist, (3) terrorist states (or those like Iran that are openly hostile) and so forth. You could even go to those "single issue voter" concepts of abortion, religion, immigration, gun control, etc and look for subtle pushes from China; although I think US citizens are so corrupted by their self importance (as a group, not you) that they would come up with these distractions that keep them from looking at the critical issues of all out economic war without any help form China. Perhaps China just does what it can to prevent the war from kicking the politicians and the radicals on either side of these issues too hard in the face (clearly they are being kicked hard enough in the fact to lose their entire economies).
And the fact that the West is so corrupted by self importance makes me long for those steep hills and deep valleys that make the borders between China and North Korea so ethereal and beautiful and impart such deep wisdom on the descendants of the Hun and monk who live there.
We are a little past the crossroads, but I'm not just rooting for the winner.
China openly enslaves its people, as opposed to the United States which does it with more subtlty and unconsciously; China shows more short term intelligence than the rest of the world combined.
But China still is autocratic. Their lack of long term intelligence (reflected in their embracing pollution to win the war with the west, might lead to the destruction of life on the planet earlier than it would otherwise last.
One has to admire how far ahead of the United States their espionage state has risen. The fact that most of the world (and apparently the Rand Corporation) is blissfully ignorant of what is going on does not endear me to the West. It does make me sad some times that i was not born of China. It is a type of warrior state that I think I could have done great good for. Not that I could do a better job of waging the war, but perhaps I could focus their attention more on long term intelligence (assuming they do not have some information which renders their reckless approach more logical than I see). Of course, it could be that the very polution that seems such an "Achilles Heel" is in fact more of a "smoke" screen (ah, the puns we are forced to accept in English with all of its figures of speech).
China creates the appearance of coincidence and legitimacy by only acting outwardly through surrogates. Increasing paranoia might take this (1) to NKG, (2) middle eastern (and other) terrorist, (3) terrorist states (or those like Iran that are openly hostile) and so forth. You could even go to those "single issue voter" concepts of abortion, religion, immigration, gun control, etc and look for subtle pushes from China; although I think US citizens are so corrupted by their self importance (as a group, not you) that they would come up with these distractions that keep them from looking at the critical issues of all out economic war without any help form China. Perhaps China just does what it can to prevent the war from kicking the politicians and the radicals on either side of these issues too hard in the face (clearly they are being kicked hard enough in the fact to lose their entire economies).
And the fact that the West is so corrupted by self importance makes me long for those steep hills and deep valleys that make the borders between China and North Korea so ethereal and beautiful and impart such deep wisdom on the descendants of the Hun and monk who live there.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
god sees gravity-if there is one
I'd like to explain everything here-well, everything except faster than light (apparent) travel, but it is so painfully obvious, so let's take a diversion and go further in the g-space.
It is entirely possible that in a perfect universe that it be appear more like a solid ball. In our universe, defective time involves dark matter that should otherwise be solid. The defective qualities in our universe, if by design of a god (one or more) would indicate that the defective quality allows it to occur under the influence of time in the way that we experience it. This could be explained (as easily and logically as any other explanation) by the analogy of time to light in film.
The tendency to return to the singularity is experienced as gravity. It is very easy to imagine a teenage god, making out with its date, spilling the equivalent of popcorn while we imagine our lives as something more than just the entertainment of the moment for some being whose ability to understand and create so exceeds our own. In such a scenario, perhaps the stars of the show are the collapsed stars where the most gravity is experienced in a concentrated form, where the most time is given up by the most matter.
It is entirely too consistent to imagine cognizants of this fact by those who dwell in the desert. As explained earlier, since we exist in g-space (where everthing happens at once) the ability to know what happened in the past and the future in our universe is axiomatic.
This means that as long as something of the origin of the universe was included in the singularity, then our ability to comprehend it would be totally consistent with everything else. We know that those who live a monastic life somehow have better access to this and we know that life in the desert tends to establish this type of introspection. The reasons for this are signficant, but must be explored later.
In the interim, I will explain at some point in the future embrasing regret in light of this universal concept.
It is entirely possible that in a perfect universe that it be appear more like a solid ball. In our universe, defective time involves dark matter that should otherwise be solid. The defective qualities in our universe, if by design of a god (one or more) would indicate that the defective quality allows it to occur under the influence of time in the way that we experience it. This could be explained (as easily and logically as any other explanation) by the analogy of time to light in film.
The tendency to return to the singularity is experienced as gravity. It is very easy to imagine a teenage god, making out with its date, spilling the equivalent of popcorn while we imagine our lives as something more than just the entertainment of the moment for some being whose ability to understand and create so exceeds our own. In such a scenario, perhaps the stars of the show are the collapsed stars where the most gravity is experienced in a concentrated form, where the most time is given up by the most matter.
It is entirely too consistent to imagine cognizants of this fact by those who dwell in the desert. As explained earlier, since we exist in g-space (where everthing happens at once) the ability to know what happened in the past and the future in our universe is axiomatic.
This means that as long as something of the origin of the universe was included in the singularity, then our ability to comprehend it would be totally consistent with everything else. We know that those who live a monastic life somehow have better access to this and we know that life in the desert tends to establish this type of introspection. The reasons for this are signficant, but must be explored later.
In the interim, I will explain at some point in the future embrasing regret in light of this universal concept.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
The lost tooth and coward assailant the lost years
He would live the rest of his life without a tooth, lost in an act of childhood violence.
Later in life he would learn who the assailant was, but long after they were no longer the children.
There was violence to face however and there would be violence in the future from the same assailant. All part of the lost years.
His mothers body was not cold in the grave when this happened. It was at a children's school and all the players were children. 10 or 11 years of age. The coward assailant was no more than that, the victim the same.
It took place in a bathroom. He did not yet wear glasses although very soon he would need thick reading glasses. Somehow he found himself bent over, his back to the room. Years later an adult would learn the name of the assailant. By the time he learned his name, the relationship would have changed from one of two children who fought (well one was a bully, the other one wasn't really involved in the world enough to fight and didn't understand the reasons for the bully to have singled him out and even the adult would never be clear on this) to two adults. One who knew the other's secret and wondered why the other never saw fit to appologize or acknowledge the terrible wrong done in youth. But in truth the event that was to be so traumatic and so transforative that was about to happen, would also ultimately give the thin reed of a child an inner strength which would be a bar as light as a memory and and as strong as iron when he was forced to face the world years later and would perhaps be the source of the most transformative moment of his young life, but that was far, far in the future.
For now without even knowing he had been pushed he was slammed into a corner wall, one of his two buck front teeth, lying on the floor in a thick saliva-blood. Him looking at it numbly, wondering what had happened. The coward assailant vanishing, though not completely innocently.
The rest of the adventure was something of a blur. An older person would know to put the tooth in milk, or if not available water, but the child and those around him knew nothing, not even the adults and the toothless child held the tooth dying in his hand while he waited in the principle office and then his father was there, having come from work. Only an adult years later would wonder what the father had heard on the phone, what he had felt, then he was at the dentist's office who took the tooth and forced it back into place where it would, for a time rot, but what would actually happen involved much more time and is farther off.
next-a strange new place
Later in life he would learn who the assailant was, but long after they were no longer the children.
There was violence to face however and there would be violence in the future from the same assailant. All part of the lost years.
His mothers body was not cold in the grave when this happened. It was at a children's school and all the players were children. 10 or 11 years of age. The coward assailant was no more than that, the victim the same.
It took place in a bathroom. He did not yet wear glasses although very soon he would need thick reading glasses. Somehow he found himself bent over, his back to the room. Years later an adult would learn the name of the assailant. By the time he learned his name, the relationship would have changed from one of two children who fought (well one was a bully, the other one wasn't really involved in the world enough to fight and didn't understand the reasons for the bully to have singled him out and even the adult would never be clear on this) to two adults. One who knew the other's secret and wondered why the other never saw fit to appologize or acknowledge the terrible wrong done in youth. But in truth the event that was to be so traumatic and so transforative that was about to happen, would also ultimately give the thin reed of a child an inner strength which would be a bar as light as a memory and and as strong as iron when he was forced to face the world years later and would perhaps be the source of the most transformative moment of his young life, but that was far, far in the future.
For now without even knowing he had been pushed he was slammed into a corner wall, one of his two buck front teeth, lying on the floor in a thick saliva-blood. Him looking at it numbly, wondering what had happened. The coward assailant vanishing, though not completely innocently.
The rest of the adventure was something of a blur. An older person would know to put the tooth in milk, or if not available water, but the child and those around him knew nothing, not even the adults and the toothless child held the tooth dying in his hand while he waited in the principle office and then his father was there, having come from work. Only an adult years later would wonder what the father had heard on the phone, what he had felt, then he was at the dentist's office who took the tooth and forced it back into place where it would, for a time rot, but what would actually happen involved much more time and is farther off.
next-a strange new place
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