lost at 2:00 am

So I wake up at 2:00 am
I can't sleep for two hours
I write long and emotional
it is late, the night dark

writing is only one step
hitting the wrong button
and its gone forever
whatever i was thinking

Was it business
a science idea
the part of book
I know it was love

what keeps me up
the dangers i still face
the empty successes
no it is something else

what makes a victory
it isn't achievement alone
it's accomplishing something
lasting and important

what make true love
is it hot and passionate
a sharing of common goals
the patience to make love
lasting and important

God, the force, and time in e-hologram theory-the intuitive god

It just so happens that e-hologram theory covers matter, gravity energy as well as religion.  Well, sort of religioni.  God and existence is covered below, but first we need to review (briefly) some background.
First, I'm forced to set aside too much reliance on string or loop theory of matter.  There is something of a circular in the substituion of moving from traditional string theory to e-hologram theory.
The substitution is trading a string type basis for matter for the somewhat similar "tendency" basis for matter and energy.  Tendency is embodied in gravity which in turn is the tendency of everything to give up time. 
There is, in this concept, a g-space or singularity with no dimension as envisioned in string theory or loop theory (since both requrie dimension to exist and in the case of string theory all kinds of dimensions). 
Instead, there is just a singularity, a theoretical point without any dimension and existing without time.  Inside of this theioretical point everyting that has, is or will happen exists simultaneously because there is no time and this was envisioned at least indirectly by Einstein. 
One permutation to this is the idea of true self determination which would mean that instead of the actual events existing in g-space (the theoretical point or singularity) there would be the "possibility" of the events existing.  While the concept of self determination is seductive (like many other things in life) it means that you'd have a lot more going on in g-space than is absolutely required.  Keep in mind, that the odds are that time doesn't really create dimension and instead just "plays" things in g-space giving the impression of dimension so that we actually exist within g-space right now!
Dimension is a funciton of one or more types of time being attached to these tendencies or probabilities.  The idea of multiple types of time is attractive because it allows multiple dimensions to be driven by different times.  This appears to be contraindicated, but requires a greater examination of time than I'll give it in this blog. 
We can manipulate time and study it in more depth and for whatever reason we spend too little time on this.  We are also able to manipulate gravity and its poorly studied for the same reason.
Here are some of the parameters of testing of time and gravity and once that's out of the way we'll talk about the subject of this blog entry.
We can slow the time attached to one set of matter & energy relative to another by accelerating the "slowed" time article to the non-slowed matter.  By using a baseline time and studying the effects of time on the two under various conditions conssitent with hologram theory (e.g. exposure to various gravitational fields timed identically or according to the basdeline time).  This is pretty crude, but you have to start somewhere and the alternative is to prematurely talk about faster than light travel.  In fact the more advanced testing would involve time travel if that is in fact possible which would be adding time and removing time from a specific set of tendencies or probabilities (matter or energy if you insist) to see how they react to being brought in and out of time. 
For those of you who are "guffawing", understand that this actually happens in our universe and we (at least astronomer) look at it every day.  And for those of you who are just reading this blog entry in isolation, we're talking about what happens in black holes where tendencies actually give up time and return to the singularity (not a, but "the" singularity).  Once you apply e-hologram theory to the observations you see matter and energy which are giving up time and the high powered radiations which escape.  What may be deduced from these jets of energy is that possibly time is being conserved (at least to some extent) and by adding time you might be generating the appearance of energy and if not then time is ceasing to show dimension. Either alternative yields interesting possible results.
Now let's finally talk about what time is and how that brings us to the subject of this blog entry.
Time may be viewed as nothing more than self awareness within the singularity.  The phrase "I think therefore I am" covers this in part.   The singularity exists without self awareness (i.e. time) but without dimension and without a linear structure that time (awareness) gives it.  Instead it, theoretically, is a god like force (newtonian force requires dimension and time so this is a "star wars" type force) which nevertheless contains the entire universe and all thought (past, present and future).  And yes, love, it contains us too, over and over, happening all at once, all our successes and failures...at least in theory according to einstein.
As awareness of the tendencies/probabilities arises, the awareness creates linear time (at least the 3 observed lines) and therefore dimension (which we can assume is a single time-as opposed to a time for each dimension-since the lines of dimension seem to move at the same pace in the "awareness/time" linear.  Gravity is the tendency of these events to return to the singularity, that is the tendency to give up consciousness of the moment is perceived as gravity.  Put another way, gravity is the tendency of events to give up awareness and therefore time.
The series of conscious moments (a linear list apparently, but potentially a quantum series of times) lift the universe (in appearance if not reality) from the singularity  and the disipation of these moments are possibly gravity, i.e as the moment of consciousness passes, that pulls the entire tendency back to the singularity.
So at a black hole, time ceases to exist and presumably conssciousness of everything within the black hole may cease to exist.  This doesn't mean that it doesn't continue to exist, there is just no awareness.
While this discomforting view of the universe is intuitive given what we observe; it is really not anymore rediculous than the string theory (the fundament of the universe is vibrating strings) since the existence of the strings begs the question of where they come from and where they go whereas e-hologram theory gives everything a place to come from.  Unfortunately, g-space is so complex that it begs the question of how it exists at all which in turn begs the question of how we exist at all.
Of course, I'll have an answer to that too, but you'll have to wait for that one.

The purpose of e-hologram theory and prayer

The purpose of e-hologram theory is only to provide a conceptual basis for a very small part of our understanding although it should be the basis for the universe we experience at the very least if it is a worthwhile exploration.
String and loop theory get fairly close (s-hologram theory is a branch of string theory) but they seek to have "gravity" attached to matter and miss the mark in that the only thing that matters is the attachment of time to "something" and the "something" is a type of string and a type of loop in that it is "tendencies" or "events" that exist all at once in the singularity and are burned linearly (like a string) but don't stop existing in the singularity (like a loop they happen from beginning to end when time is attached (at least some beginning and some end)).
The real meat of the exploration is not exactly e-hologram theory.  This is because to get to time travel and faster than light travel you have to ignore the e-hologram (am I saying too much here given the contest?  I think so and not).  The real exploration is an examination of the singularity and time.
 Everything else is just a  projection. because we can see the projection, we can deduce many things (and they are somewhat deduced in prior blog entries).
Imagine a world, well technically not a world or even a universe but something, where time (and therefore space) don't exist except as reagents.  Where there is at least one but perhaps several singularities containing all the knowledge and all the events of our universe all at once, all the wisdom, all the love, all the heartbreak in one...well we can't call it a spot or place because both of those have some dimension so lets say..point.  where even though there is no time and therefore no dimensions (at least none as we understand them...you cannot move along an axis without time) that there is something called time that can be added to get a reaction that displays our universe, our lives, in their entirety.
If such a place exists (and black holes almost scream in the affirmative) then it is a magical and perhaps god like place.  I'm not arguing in favor of religion here, so don't mistake the meaning.  I think it makes a strong argument for religion in some sense, the sense that the entire knowledge and emotion of everything is concentrated without time in one place (one point), that all that ever was or will be (in time) is concentrated in one place (one point).  That seems to have a lot of the features of the god of Genesis.  It's not exactly the same thing, but maybe its more and maybe its less.
In such a universe the idea of self awareness (which requires time) and the explosion of these events into our universe (the big bang as it were) might be simultaneous and perhaps explainable.  The mere concept of becoming aware of the existence of the singularity (by the singularity) makes the existence of time and therefore the universe inevitable.  The energy is already concentrated into a point so going from there to me typing this blog entry is a fairly short jump.  The unresolved questions are the examination of the singularity and using the existence (assuming of course it exists) of the singularity to improve things in the universe where time has been applied to it.
Prayer-One wonders if the universe was created in this fashion what the effect would be of one asking the universe for something.  Another chance, love, relief from pain, etc.  Is it (the singularity) capable of changing to provide relief or is the mere fact that you can ask for something or do ask for it mean that you know it may happen because it already has (whether it is for true love, the release from the pain of a broken heart or a ticket on the Hogwarts express).
Do we have the ability to shape the universe given the fact that it is already shaped?  Given the fact that it isn't already shaped (that is potential in the singularity is not fixed and therefore Einstein was wrong, that there is a reason for time besides the fact that otherwise everything happens at once).  It is a circular argument to some extent, but the answer is also yes..and no.
More on this later.

Fragile Love

love will find you
we don't understand
why does it hide
is it such a fearful thing
it is so hard to find
and once found
it leaves so quickly
is it such a weak thing
when we stomp on it
shouldn't it blossom
when we ignore it
won't it spring forth
where is confidence
in the face of anger
love should not falter
where it is perfect
love so fragile
that it exits so quickly
it doubts itself
subsumes to convenience
gives way to hate
or is this weak thing
something else
reject it outright
expect it to be there
such expectations
of the ill conceived
thing we call love
the strongest force
must be different
than what i've had

is creation intuitive in e-hologram theory

Now, I'm not an overly religious fellow and I have my doubts about organized religion which seems primarily designed to group people together to kill each other.  But this does not mean that creation doesn't exist in e-hologram theory.  In fact, if you have to ask the question, "Is creation intuitive (almost inherent) in e-hologram theory", you are not paying attention.
Of course, if your definition is the addition of time to the singularity, not only is it intuitive, its absolutely necessary.  The singularity has to come from somewhere and something has to happen to add time.
While a discussion of what happens at a "big bang" (as opposed to "the big bang") is outside of this blog entry, it may be that heat and time (heat requires time just as space does) are required to separate matter from the singularity or heat more likely is a by-product and the "separation" is the result of substance-x which would be anti-gravity in some form or other plus time plus the singularity which should be something like gravity, that is tendencies within the singularity generate gravity when time is added and gravity is the tendency of tendencies to give up time and return to the singularity.
But we'll have to come back to that.  This is on the idea of creation and why it is intuitive in e-hologram theory.
First remember that time is not a factor in g-space so you don't have to worry about running out of it as you create a universe (like ours).  Second, if everything happens at once in the singularity, there is no shortage of intelligence since every intelligence that exists, existed or will exist is in the singularity (at the time of creation and now, and later; of course).  This means you have the intellect, the "time" (har har-there is no time until you add it, so its part of the material) and the only thing "missing" is the rest of the raw materials since tendencies plus time, gravity plus time, whatever the combination, is clearly not missing but since I can't give a complete grasp of what the singularity is (intuitively some sort of gravity plus time which we experience) since that might involve discussing faster than light travel (apparent).
How we will interface with the rest of the intelligence or another creator in the singularity is yet another story.

Where is "the holy g-space thing" in the e-hologram theory

As those of you who have followed through the entire discussion of the e-hologram universe, from the discussion of the string-hologram universe discussed through Steven Hawkins' book to the present know that it is intuitive that there is a singularity where everything happens at once (as predicted by Einstein) and that the addition of time gives rise to dimension and the appearance of linearity, the former being the source of "space-time" and the latter being the general relativity after a fashion.  The combination of string-hologram and space-time yields a model where there is no space time and that we therefore exist within the singularity  burdened with time which manifests itself in gravity which is the tendency of matter to give up time and return to the singularity state which it does at certain concentrations.  This, of course, implies that apparent time travel and apparent faster than light travel are intuitive, fairly simple to predict; but they are not discussed herein because of the contest which you have refer back to fully understand.
The issue of god in e-hologram theory, that is the composition of g-space (which is not space at all since time must be added to it to create the illusion of o-space (what we experience) is an important consideration.  We live in a very destructive environment and understanding how to manipulate g-space (faster than light travel and time travel) is critical to extend our occupation of the universe and we are designed to achieve that (not that you could tell from the participation in the contest, but I digress).
One thing which inherent in this discussion (and like all theories we must rely on what we know and can observe) is that time and tendencies must exist in g-space and there must be the ability to attach time to the tendencies which means that this must occur "naturally" in g-space or there must be some "thing" which you can call god or the force or just "the g-space thing" which combines these two.
What isn't intuitive is the ability of the g-space thing (or the holy g-space thing if you will) to observe, control or care about the effect of combining time and the singularity.  Likewise it is almost intuitive and at least suggested that since everything happens at once (again this is Einstein not necessarily are requirement of e-hologram theory which only requires that time burn the singularity and that the removal of time returns matter and energy to the singularity which is observed in our universe) that the holy g-space thing may have established the singularity (which is our universe without time) which suggests something exists outside of time and dimension (at least as we experience) and can combine these two things; not by bringing them together (which would require space and therefore time applied to a singularity) but by doing something that we do not fully understand but which we must understand in order to be one with g-space and presumably this will be an offshoot of the exploration of apparent faster than light travel.

channeling dispair in the e-hologram universe

Deprived of finances
loss of my health
my lover has left me
even the future of the world
is certain to end in disaster
how is one to survive
we are beset by enemies
and abandoned by love
the e-hologram universe
is entirely consistent with god
is in fact dependent on That
or something like it
we are here to live to our potential
the hurdles are required
to challenge us
placed there by design
the more that is taken
the fewer the resources
the more we are able
to live up to gods demands
so kick us when we're down
take my love, my money
turn my body weak and sick
take away my very breath
it only forces me to be better
for it is the will of the design
of the e-hologram universe
that we be forever doomed
to channel our despair
into something great
and so my enemies
and so too you my love
I will despair your anger
and I will endeavor
until my last breath
because it is my part to play
channeling despair
as you must also
and we will all together
achieve something greater
despite it all
because the universe
requires we love deeply
and channel dispair