of course

The indoor pool reopened and I have struggled through the workouts.  Yesterdays was both adequate, 2000 yards, and the worst in terms of im since I started, 600 and each of those 200's.  I have been extremely regular in this regard, stairs and weights, then two days of swimming and back again.
I had a heart rate on the stair machine above 130 and used the monitor to see what it looked like.

I have a problem, if I stop for a day, I feel like I can never make it up, so I strive to keep going and going and going.  And then there is you, and if I stop for a day I don't have the exhaustion to forget about you even for a few moments, I don't sleep; it is a physical pain deep inside soft tissue.

The article below reflects my frustration, of course you have it wrong, I want to yell, it's been available for you to read for over a year and a lot of modeling before that.  And yet I am making progress.  I have been contacted by and presented my model to scientists at the leading research institute in the world.  My core group of engineers who have taken the time to look at my work are more convinced than ever in its accuracy.

I am moving forward with even more immediate, practical and more complex modeling and applications.  I am going to be working on a speech in this blog, perhaps I will tape it this morning.

https://scitechdaily.com/gravity-mysteries-we-may-have-had-fundamental-nature-of-the-universe-wrong-this-whole-time/

“Scientific progress is serendipitous,” he says. “It often happens in a way that you don’t expect."

Losing you
I don't know if this is love or passion
I could argue for love
duration, the sense of friendship
but perhaps that is the detritus of our lovemaking
i know the solution
to spend enough time together to see
surely the passion would have to fade
in fact, after making love to you repeatedly
over the course of a too short night
there is a sense of enough
and in those hours that follow, what is left
the desire to talk to you
a strange loneliness when we separate
and very shortly thereafter, like buried coals under dry grass
the fire returns as hot or even hotter than it was before
there was not enough time
no opportunity for deeper feeling to replace
the cauldren
love cannot survive the fire
oh yes, it may be there under the ashes
but how can I believe it is the basis for these feelings
when all I want is to see you naked next to me
in all the contortions and places
which now seem empty.