Been hitting my target weight. I suspect i would be under it today if i had weighed, although i do not even care right now. At this moment in time that part of my body is fine.
Yesterday I was at the pool when it opened at 8am, had it to myself for the first half of my workout and even when it was crowded, I was as fast as anyone else swimming, a good day. I also am pretty sure I accidently swam 1200 IM. I did 2000 yards in short time even though I was a little shocked that I was even at the pool. My home pool is at 72 degrees which is shockingly cold, but also a temperature where I can just start swimming, assuming I don't have a heart attack when I first get in and if a hot sun is shinning on it. Then I rode 8 miles and I only ate small meals and no dinner which is unusual and I suspect it is largely due to my sense of frustration. On top of everything else I stayed up late, the sun was up when I got up this morning, something which has not happened in quite a while.
Looked at match.com because it came up on my Facebook feed. It kept trying to get me to make myself visible which was tempting although there were way too many ugly people on it. Maybe I would fall into that category at this moment in my life. i also read an article about catfishing kidnapping which sounds about right. What sort of person in their right mind would do that. I have a friend who is single who is doing that or something like that and he said he sees fake profiles. The fact that it comes up on my feed is evidence enough that it is a terrible idea. What on earth would I do in that environment? I suspect I am dateable, but I am also going blind and who would want that? Also, I would suspect I would be absolutely mad to get into a relationship I could not walk away from. A person who hates his own life has little reason to look at relationships.
And, of course, even at my old age I would not want to get sick. I would have to make all of my dates start of at a clinic so I could get them tested. It makes me a little nauseous to think about it. I wonder if it will not happen yet, how strange it would be. When I was younger it was looking for someone to spend my life with, now what would it look like? I have another friend to abhors relationships of any kind. He is angry, there is a fancy word for that, misogyny. I can almost understand, I have been hurt perhaps he was too, although you do not hear that. I have hurt others, however. I might argue today it was for purposes of wanting everything perfect for everyone else. It's all your fault, I'd tell them; but that would be disingenuous, I have the thesaurus working this morning.
The science is going as well as can be expected. The technology breakthroughs this year have left me feeling like I was hit by a firehose. The level of proof is extraordinary, the obviousness of it shocking and even suspicious. It cannot be that easy, but maybe it is.
It opened up this whole new area of grant concepts at the same time different groups were looking for them and that has helped to develop it, although the interplay is complex, simple things in isolation that are complex when combined, the reason for all of the problems in my life. Well, all the problems except going blind, that one is all mine, simple in isolation or when combined with everything else.
This morning, the gym being closed, I used the elimination of one piles of vines for exercise and I can barely type for the amount of work I did with my arms, much more than lifting weights and like the pile that was hauled away on Friday, the stack of weeds in front of the house is enormous. Lots of errors typing I'll have to go back.
I fooled my watch calling it a walk and indeed going back and forth I clocked over 1.5 miles. Moreover it was a 10 hr of rest 1.xx1.x aerobic, anaerobic workout and 99 intensity minutes to boot and that was after an initial 15 minutes, so I have my exercise in today. Also 12 floors and all but a couple thousand steps. All in all I should have been doing this all along i guess. Stil have some clean up to do and my chain saw chain needs to be replaced, too loose to use.
I've been collecting songs, the beetle's song which goes, "in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make," comes to mind; but that song is a lie, maybe for the writer, but it would be for me. One funny, one serious. Or, come to think of it, maybe they are both serious in their own way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzw3-Qyp4c0
Sting - When We Dance (Official Music Video) - YouTube
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