slide 1 continued

Yesterday I weighed in at my target weigth early and in the afternoon whch is typically not a good time to try for my target weight.
It says something about the weight of water.
I rode my bike and lifted weights and in this heat lost tons of water and I have a flat tire that looks like it will require a new tube, even though the old one was self sealing and is probably sealed now.  I don't know.
I can do that myself or I can do the deferred maintenance.  Decisions, decisions.
I was tired.  The crystalied stuff from the spider bites, the heat, hard exercise.  I fell asleep like I was dying but I feel better now.
I feel a sense of exhaustion, isolation which is dark and overpowering.  I wonder if other people like me feel the same thing.  It is selfish, it doesn't let anyone else in.  It causes me to shrink internally even as I expand in strength physically, it is even worse when I am contracting.
Slide 1
I added a picture of something round, the sun.  What does round stuff have to do with spirals?  That is slide 4 now.  But a long time ago we started with something important.

This is one of the first pictures I posted.  Well, technically it was around 80, but it appeared with pictures like this one:

So a long time ago, 6 or 7 years ago,  I was drawing spirals and circles and posting them on this blog.  I did not fully understand it then, but I realized intuitively that somehow spirals and circles were the same thing and that circles came from quantum changes, not infinite changes.  I knew a long time ago when I was wandering the streets, alone and broken, and posting pictures like this one:

Walking with the other people who scare people like you at night because we have nothing left to lose, so we stare at rivers which are getting ready to overflow their banks and flood cities, like the madness that those of us who take the pictures feel.  Alone, cold and disconnected from the reality of others.

So slide one has a circle and spirals and it is right that it should, because nothing else explains both what is wrong with past fusion attempts and what is right about AuT.
I am editing the slideshow, so I suppose I will have to redictate it.  Then I'll post it again and I'll start all this over again.
Here is a section that I took out of the "new script:"
"This is not a Nikola Tesla type promise to tell secrets; I am not promising to give the keys to the underlying structure of the universe, I have already handed them to you.  The basic science is already published for peer review."  Like I said, I took this out, mostly.  Tesla was a gifted engineer, but he was something of a theatrical goof too.
But that is in slide 3 maybe, so i just put it here because i am taking it out and i can do whatever i want in my blog.
i can lie to you, i can tell you the truth; sometimes I can tell you what I think is the truth and that is a lie.
There is so much nonsense in the news
What else is shown in the first slide.
It is a definition of what energy is.  I am not going into that here, it is in the books, but it is shown that everything here is frozen in place.

https://phys.org/news/2019-06-path-reliable-quantum.html
This article shows that everyone except me continues to fly off in the wrong direction.
Because everything is on and off, the loss of on/off change is the same one that 7 years ago I was looking at with spirals and circles as I realized that space had to have quantum origins, even though I did not have the modeling down for it yet, even though I did not understand the role that quantum change had to play, how it rendered time and dimension as Planck saw it irrelevant and imature and I was forced to step off into the darkness alone to watch for the flood that I know is coming and that no one can stop.