My Road-the lie

Surely you must have said something honest! The regular insisted.
Of course, the little things that we reflect on.
Then how can you say it was the last honest thing you did?
The answer is simple, from that day forward I lived my life according to a lie.
What was the lie?
That?  You haven't figured it out yet?  The lie was that I could live my life without her.  You see I was in love with her from the moment I saw her.  It was my particular mental disorder.  Perhaps I could have cured it, but why would you want to cure the very core of your existence.  The reason you get up in the morning to hope to see her face.  The reason you worked hard and amassed a fortune, to spend it on her.  The reason to see and hear things, so you could, when the opportunity came, share them with her.  My life had, up to that point in time, been built around those stolen moments.  Once I realized this, once I confessed this to her, I had to bury what I now could not deny.  From that moment onward my life was a lie.
But that was 15 years before the storm!
15 years, he repeated in a faint voice.  It was more than 15 years.  I fell in love with her many years before that. You see she was dating my best friend.  I used to come home at night and listen to them making love.  In the mornings she would come out and talk with me.  Sometimes I would leave my own lovers after a night losing myself in the ecstasies of youth and go to the house we shared in the hopes that she would get up and make coffee for him and we could sit and talk for a few minutes while it brewed.
 But that is too tragic!  Why didn't you say something?
Honor.  You know nothing about it.  Some things were more important than living life to me.  Then it was honor, later it would be money.  For a while in between....But that isn't where we were, we were talking about the  aftermath of the storm.
What was it in between?
In between it was friendship.