my road to virtue and back startrek

This Genius Slices 'Star Trek' Movies Down to Just the Ships http://www.popularmechanics.com/culture/movies/a14422/check-out-these-ship-only-star-trek-fan-edits/

That's an irrelevant, but interesting link.
Back when I was seduced, during the great collapse, life was very complicated but in many ways it was more simple.  We were only beginning to build the thing we have now, the thing that, so many other things, would be destroyed with labels.  I'm not saying labels aren't powerful, but they are only labels.  Of course, it is what is behind the labels, both real an imagined, that give them their power.
And yes, I was not totally innocent in the seduction, the seduction by Money, the seduction by desperation, the seduction by being seduced.  I'm not saying it was hard to do, that I played hard to get or that I didn't play a part, but as much as I wanted it, as much as I needed it, I couldn't do the seducing.  The events carved in history as they are now, played out one at a time.
I was tired in the beginning when the money seduced me.  Tired of working so hard, even though the results of steady effort had steadily added up.  I was seduced by my complacency, by my stupidty.  The lesson on how to determine whether to take risks, the not feeling comfortable, the being certain I was in over my head, the lack of trust in those with whom I got in bed.
Later, I was weak, because to find the strength that was there, I had to lose everything, and by then I had lost everything.  But that isn't what happened.
What happened is that I was in the process of picking up the pieces and you were picking up the pieces too.  For once in our long lives we were in the same place at the same time.

And something that you had known the whole time became visible to you for the first time and that is how I felt about you.
Before you seduced me, we shared time many different ways, the most significant was the first, spending special time together, nights together, taking care of each other.  What I thought we were meant to do, not to make love together, because that did not happen in time, not to raise a fortune or a family we both might otherwise have wanted, we were much too late, too far gone for that.

But aren't all people supposed to be here to take care of each other, some better suited because they are so much the same, both defective in the same way, but needing each other even if they don't know it.  That is why everything else is so difficult.  There are plenty of others in our past, and the labels in mine, but there are things which they cannot be and that is what we should to each other, so much time, so much understanding.
The whole world stretches out for people who see it the same way, the whole world is there for us and yet we turn our backs on it.

And those that I thought were there for me, turned on to be the worst.  They were the takers of money, the ones whose judgement was corrupted by selfishness, and the ones who knew equally well how to love hotly and twist the embedded knife.