Grandios

 It is raining as if it will never stop.
Perhaps one day that will happen.
Before he died, Hawkins said earth would likely end up like Venus.
I have the solution to that and perhaps the solution to the problem that Venus has.
But will it ever leave me?
It may easily die with me.
Death would be easier than living.
Life is contraindicated.  The universe is so terribly hostile to everything.
And yet we live and I have the opportunity to extend life.
To what end?

I swam a measely 1500, I was on my third im when thunder struck and I was forced out.
I have started the massive job of beginning to renumber in light of the new structures in AuT.
An electron is not a fundamental particle, it is not even a thing.
It is a net result having so many parts that they can only be numbered because numbering is possible as a matter of course in the model..
Like everything else in AuT it is both obvious and counter-intuitive.
It is productive but shows that productive has little value.
When you indicate an electron, you are pointing to a net feature of a roundish thing, striving to move from two dimensions to the 3 that reside in its core..
Worse still in a 3 dimensional form, it is around, but does not include the nucleus of an atom.
It is difficult to put in context, difficult to number, but it is so certain in AuT that it is.

I was told tonight that to get funding I might want to tone things down.
My application sounded "grandious."
As I cry, I am laughing, because I have seen further into the universe than anyone alive.
I see how we will die and how to keep us alive until then.
I have seen the unlimited potential in the universe and the limits that bring us back to our knees.
Grandios?  The most significant advance in physics in human history, the secret to the beginning and the end of our universe, the quantum features of the universe down to individual bits of information, the answer to virtually every, single major mystery of the universe in modern physics.
Grandios?  Is that word worthy of what is taught in AuT?
I don't think so.
The right word is nothing like grandios.  It is humbling.  It is a word for dispicable and depression that reflects the futility of life.
Sponser this?  Accept it?  Have it accepted?  To what end?  When you tear back the curtain, you want to see something noble, something timeless, important.  Grandiose, peerhaps. What other words describe what you hope to see?  Perhaps god, purpose, love, poetry.
None of that is behind the universe curtain.
The universe as we know it is summed up in a single equation driven by a number that we do not even consider to be real.

There it is, the top row, second slide from the left, the first equation.
That is everything, the god equation, one frigging variable.
What would Parmenides have done if he had figured it out?  Perhaps his grand student Socrates had the answer to that question.  Give me the hemlock, don't be selfish, is there not a drop for me?  That is Shakespeare.  All the genius, all the dust.
There is something Grandios, it is the grand illusion, the illusion that the universe holds some secret beyond this simplisity.
So why go on?
There is a reason to go on.  Perhaps it can be the grand thing.
We go on, because there is something about space defined by this simple equation that is not logical.  How can something that is nothing remember its value from one change in x to the next, how can it change its informational quality from plus to minus?  Space is a counter, the likes of which we could never make, even in its simplicity it mocks our supercomputers.
Tick, x changes, and all of space advances one fuse lenght, but each bit of space has a slightly different fuse, a fuse which changes in size towards infinity, already points in space have time stamps that can be written, but which are beyond comprehension..
Therein lies the reason for existence.
The purpose of our lives.
Our salvation if there is one.
To figure out what makes space tick and to change it.
For if we can do that, we have the power of god.

So what do you suggest I do?
Do I write back, "well, it is a model which tells us how to create a usable form of  fusion?"
That sounds a little grand, but it is not as grand as figuring out the purpose behind our existence.
How about this, "a clever bit of blockchain math?"  Why mention that it powers the entire universe?
Yes, avoid being grandious.
Bah, Humbug!
I am in a universe governed by irony, because it is built on that one equation and that one equation is an infinite series, the most ironic thing of all, it approaches but never reaches a solution.
Behold I am Ozminides, King of Kings.
No, I am not Gradios,
Shelly understood, the traveller's secret tells us everything.

I met a traveller from an antique land,

Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;

And on the pedestal, these words appear:

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46565/ozymandias

And perhaps the answer to my question lies with what is believed to be the original inscription:
Diodorus reports the inscription on the statue, which he claims was the largest in Egypt, as follows: “King of Kings Ozymandias am I. If any want to know how great I am and where I lie, let him outdo me in my work.”