luxury without you

having learned what happiness is 

having learned how to deny it

for a myriad of reasons 

some good and some not
I find myself in a condition of perpetual melancholy 

always wondering why
I don't allow myself joy and fulfillment
sacrifice without reward
loyalty instead of happiness
morality in place of fulfillment
I lay on my hammock 

on this most perfect of weather days 

I am struck with the serenity
which accompanies the emptiness 

of this modest but complete luxury 

absent the ineffable joy of your company

I wonder why you would ever think of me 

living the life of luxury without you.