Random Thoughts Part 1

Is this really better than having nothing to say
My mind is racing with coffee, nerves, uncertainty
and perhaps even a touch of frustration
which is the crippled brother of anger.
Frustration reflects a "certain uncertainty";
anger reflects a willingness to act
without over thinking things.
Frustration means an inability
or unwillingness to do what is necessary
in order to take care of things.
Anger reflects a willingness
to ignore some of the consequences;
real anger reflects a willingness
to ignore all the consequences,
righteous anger reflects
a mind able combine morality with anger.
I would like to have is righteous frustration
if there is such a thing
but if there is, it is denied to me.
Uncertainty.
There's an interesting choice.
What about certainty of the wrong choices,
the wrong outcomes,
or the certainty of the right choices
and the uncertainty of how they will turn out.
Life is so uncertain
and the only times you can be comfortable
are when you are certain
that you are in the right place
for that one moment
and it has been so long
since I have been comfortable,
I am beginning to lose my feel for it
or even my memory of what it is.
Nerves, what are those.
We all are born with the ability
to still our nerves till they are hard as steal.
We also have the ability to shred them.
Insanity lies within the tears of the mental nerves.
Coffee, now there is something.
It calms the nerves and tightens them
to the breaking point both at the same time.
A chemical cocktail balanced by nature
so that it provides strength
without too much weakness,
a drug that I only occasionally have to give up,
not at all like heroine or hard liquor.