Time Passages

The very last chapter which I may have to break into parts is too daunting for me to pick up.
I feel like I can see into the future.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qa89bt0GZvQ
I should be able to control the future, but it seems when I try change it, I find myself merely fit into what I saw before I acted.  Moreover I find myself unwilling to act no matter how obvious the path before me seems to be.  I attempt to find logic in my actions, and all I find are justifications fixed by someone else holding me in place.
As I have mentioned repeatedly, dimensions are static and every dimension moves in only one direction along the spiral.  This is obvious, even in pre NLC theories, but no one spotted it before me, apparently.  This is not because of any genius, instead the universe fits these items into my vision through your eyes.  I am like a wrench, I am used to turn a screw for reasons that were decided at a point on thermodynamic static line when the universe was designed.
I whose power should be able to do whatever I want am instead hamstrung from making the smallest changes, the changes that would bring me closesr to where I know that I need to be.
I can see the future as clearly as the past.  My vision of the future is not unique, but is instead representative of what everyone possesses and, indeed this common in the extreme.  My volume "China's Weaponized Economy" most recently enforced by China's taking over the spot for the most Billionares in the world by country is not so important to show genius on my part, but is instead proof that the future is as visible as the past to one with sufficient information, for it is consistent with what hundreds said before or at least thought and has now risen to the mainstream.  We can tell as much about the future as we can tell about the past and in many cases more.  But that is no reason not to change it, so why am I here tonight.  What causes me to hesitate, why isn't desire inevitable.
I cannot bear it.
I am wearing my joints down, I am going to continue swimming until it becomes unbearable because it is the only way that I can live in opposition to myself.  There are two of me.  One is in the intersecting spiral that comes back from the future, who knows what will happen and knows what to do to save us and then there is me, equally knowledgable but unable to act.
I reach out and I can almost touch it, the future I can make for myself, the future that I need and past that I cling to.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm6TsYypBpY