A break from science

I am reaching out to a larger audience, hundreds of thousands of those interested in this material.
I am ready, although not overly ready
I added two groups, so I have to catch them up since they are 4 days behind the others.
There is soooo much material.
The audio book is back on track, better now, more audioish and it will include some of this new material.  There's a good part on time being clockish in operation, although that will require some work.
So much work and for what?
Today I suffered from the dizziness really badly
Then the storms came and left me disoriented, flickering lights, no power, and water everywhere.
I forced my self to swim and managed to do 2000 yards with the 1000 im, but it was hard, harder than 3500 yards is sometimes.
My eyes bothered me particularly, this big hole in my vision distracting me
adding to the nausea of everything else
My vision is like looking through a glass of worms.
So I guess I will write poetry to you for a couple of days.  One day you'll say, the smartest man in the world spent all his free time writing poetry to me.

NBCNews.com: Physicist Brian Greene on the three biggest science mysteries he'd like to see solved. https://www.nbcnews.com/mach/science/physicist-brian-greene-three-biggest-science-mysteries-he-d-see-ncna881526

See, I can answer all of these,
except maybe the matter antimatter balance
I have to give a couple of options there
I can answer the rest
But I can't fall in love again
I have not tried
And I don't think I will
I have asked myself
Why torture yourself
Over what is not
concentrate of what is
lose yourself in oblivion
don't live in the past
with its passion
its laughter
the bleeding heart
oh but i would cut myself
a million times
for a few hours of the past
even though it will haunt me forever
If you were not what you are
If love were not so powerful
I would be like everyone else
I would see nothing
except what was in front of me
living for the moment
oblivious, happy
I would not be tortured
by visions of a symmetry
I cannot share
but just as my love for you
is greater than any force
so the forces dissolve
in front of my bloodshot eyes
I lie awake at night
half blind, night terrors
Knowing there is no solace
none for me
No one offers comfort
because I cannot want anyone
No one else
How can I explain it
The pain that rips reality apart
starting in the soul
that tears a little more
the farther you move away from me