4.16.22

 There is so much positive happening that the meeting in 6 days is not very important.  That being said, a minor thing which did not even matter in the way of progress bothered me yesterday.

The timing issue and the questions regarding who is doing what to follow up or what i need to do to follow up with things or what i do not need to do botther me a great deal.

Monday, for example, i will do some additional work.  I have these very large bills, foreign work, insurance, taxes that i have to deal with.  I can now, of course, a fortunate turn of events, and even the rising interest rates are not a critical issue right now.  Painful, but no longer an economic struggle.

The property sale that I keep hoping will bring things together for the next couple of years continues to elude me, although i suspect i was not too far away over the last few months.  If i get to 2023 there will have to be some sort of reckoning, but that is some time off and a lot can happen between now and then.  I have to put some things off, but they are not huge things.  My problems are small compared to those of the world at large.

Then there is this question of you and those needs i have that i believe you could help with and it pains me to think of the price that needs tobe paid by others so that i can be happy and it is a high price.

Everything is expensive, but i am very very close to being able to afford what is bought with money and with soul; let us see what happens next.  A part of that is what happns in 6 days; but that is far less important than what happens in the interim and in the background and i need to stay focused on what i need to finish and my obligations between now and the end of the month are within my mental and physical budgets.

I was up at 5 today, but it is already almost 7.  one of my wards was late getting up, still dark back then and i was worried because of sounds of fighting last night, but he came to eat and while the sun came up i wasted some time and eventually came to think about what i needed to say to you here and wonder if there was anything you needed to say to me.