4.25.22

 172.2 this morning.  I dont have a problem wearing any of my clothes except those size 36 pants which now fall off of me.

I think i probably hit my target wt of 170 in nm (down from180 and occasionally plus) and the 175 average that I had when I left.  This seems to be stable, albeit with 12 workouts every 7 days.  The question of building from here remains illusive since losing weight is not longer crucial, it is a matter of increasing health.

After our short little talk, I can feel the emotion boiling in each of us.

It reflects something so shared that the two sides merge and it becomes one thing

I want you, you want me, I want a world with nothing else, I'm not so sure that is shared

I want to explain this to you, do you know how much I lost, how much time

Even now I can barely remember the last 4 months, age or sadness or both

I was hurt, confused, what was I doing this for?  who was I without you

A ghost?  Some sort of portal for a universe to feed information through?

Were those the same thing, what about the love that brought me above that?

I should have known that the bonds would be harder to break

I wish you could hear yourself, I can play it back in my head

It hurt before, now it makes me smile with love

Only I fear if we do not do this right, it will happen again and even worse

I worry about my ability to run back into that maelstrom again

My heart and my body long for it, but I'm not as young as I used to be

I don't know if I can take as much, whether I can bounce back again

If there is only one chance left, let us take it, I say to myself

But I have a harder time telling it to you, it is what I want

Not for you but for me, too selfish to maintain the passion, it would melt