7.12.22

 Slept better last night.

It stormed too late in the evening to get a swim in, but the bike ride was "adequate" and its been a while since I missed a day completely.  I wish I had walked the dog this morning, but I slept well again remembering dreams of walking through ocean covered sand around an island, sort of a nightmare, but not quite.

Today is the first day of the icap program (formally anyway) and I am having to work from home to return the fence materials.  If I go to 6 feet I really need to replace all of the posts.  Probably need to buy a $185.00 post hole digger for that.  That takes the "posts" up to around 383 for 12' posts.  The ground here is soft although roots are a problem.

Living alone is the only way I can envision the future. This is really an awful situation.  I was very close to taking nothing but the clothes on my back and a key and driving to New Mexico this afternoon.  I am at the office listening to the rain hitting the ac unit housing and wondering if there is any way I can make myself go home today.  I am so very angry at everyone.

I walked the dog, he collapsed from heat, but made it home.  Afterwards I let him jump in the pool and I swam just 500 yards only to cool down.  The first session of the icap thing went as well as can be expected, I slumped through the work as I had no motivation.  I have some repairs to do at the office.

My life is not particularly pleasant, but that doesn't mean its ugly.  This is a picture from the very hot walk, far in the distance is the waterfall.