Tonight's post was supposed to cover the issue of virtual particles (those represented only by a positive and negative) which seek each other out being a motive force in the intersecting spiral framework of NLC. In this embodiment, I was going to point out how "reverse spinning" spirals matched the positive and negative aspects. In this case, however, destruction was replaced with reversing the spin, as it were.
It's a complicated analysis, however, because the issue of these two systems being drawn together requires some force that translates well to the intersection of the spirals. Gravity works well in this formulation, but the virtual particle analysis suggests some additional feature, perhaps and anti-spin gravity matching the spin gravity we experience. It is worthwhile in this discussion to note the spiral nature of gravity's attraction, that logarithmic spirals are defined by the motion of one body towards non-linearity; a comparison which was already made for other purposes.
However, I have had too much coffee today and I am sick from it. Today was the first day it was too cold for me to swim, partially the effects of the coffee and a late time getting home along with rain which means there was no way for me to burn off the effects and I find myself too irritable to be around with a caffeine headache and no chance of sleeping tonight.
The summer fights to hold on, temperatures now only occasionally creeping over the 90's. It is growing cold, too soon I'll be deprived of the solitary swims that define my loose grip on sanity, I have to be ready to lose it completely.
The profession that chose me, rather than my chosen profession has kept me from editing the posts from last week which saddens me since I may not, for some time pick up where I left off.
I've needed a massage for some time because I've been swimming without a break, no matter what other work I'm doing, fighting exhaustion with exhaustion.
I have thought hard about manipulation, the sacrifices I have made and make every day. I cringed, faced with someone who knelt before me with tears, begging for the impossible from a heart that promised itself to someone else, without even asking my permission. I have nothing to offer but treachery to everyone, including myself.
I'm not healthy enough to trouble over right now. My mind and my body tonight wait for the lights to go out to betray me.
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