success and failure

i swam tonight and i hate verizon.  cant get them to add call blocking their customer service sucks. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jduFDgIr598

This is where the end of the world thing comes in but how am I supposed to survive in the middle of desert until they come for me if you're not there?

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2021/02/ancient-kauri-trees-capture-last-collapse-earth-s-magnetic-field?utm_campaign=ScienceNow&utm_source=JHubbard&utm_medium=Facebook

Do you really want to see this?  It's not even interesting. I'm having a tough time.  I don't know what the end game is here.

Everything I try seems to be failing in one regard or another.  Even the things that are going well are not.

I need someone, I am a person who needs people, maybe just one other person.  A volcano is erupting, it is not the end of everything but it is a metaphor for the chaos in my life.

I have so much detail I would like to include in this, but not everything is for the whole world.

I decided to do the kindle vella publication thing which is totally goofy and made me essentially make up an additional 200 hundred words which accomplish nothing but get to the minimum size chapter.  Maybe I'll move my blog there.  It was an act of desperation, to exist for a moment, because things seem to be going downhill, nothing is happening, nothing is happening fast enough, I guess I should say, things happen every day.  And its going to take a lot out of me before these things that may never happen happen and I don't know how much longer i can wait.

The only thing that keeps me going is you and you are not even there.