unstuck in time-2 week old

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmxqAGmAttU

172.6 today, not even trying to lose weight but a combination of factors has ruined my appetite and I continue to exercise and be active.  I don't know if this is as low or lower, I don't plan to search for it.

I spent the weekend cutting down trees and even weight lifting afterwards.  This was written 2 weeks ago, or was it two months ago, time is coming apart for me.

 It is 6:03.  I clung to the night but I was still up before 5.  I want to go back to bed and seek oblivion.  I spent a little time this morning finding all that i had to be thankful for, but it was not nearly enough.  I live in terror of knowing too much and not being able to do anything with it.

I have the next grant outlined, but there is too much, too many directions, too much theory yet to be resolved.  There are 20 areas, out of maybe 30 as the combined things are separated it shifts like a mirage.  This is what happens when the basic concepts are modified, expanded, disclosed and obscured behind alternatives.  And this is a bigger undertaking; one which I am ill suited at the moment; one for which I have to rise to meet, like a surfer trying to get out past a nasty break I have to rush it and time it in a way that those on the beach can avoid and which they watch with hope that I will not make it.

This undertaking was put on hold to get the NPTE published, something that took a surprisingly short and long time, short because it happened quickly, long because getting the numbers to line up was more complicated than the first time I tried.  I feel certain, I am certain, that there are miscounting problems, design issues, one being the tracking of overlaps earlier in the process, the Argon question.

Changes Began early in the crossover between space and electromagnetic phenomena redefining force and energy as things that are covered not by independent features, but by interrelated features.

I have to take some time to deal with mundane things, I may return.  Or I will watch time steal my life as I stand by and watch, not a hero; but an accessory.  The future stretches before me with a clarity; the terrible past, the difficult present and the unbelievable promise and threat of the future which is so much a part of what I am right now.

And yet, it's the fourth of July.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2Ov5jzm3j8