8.7.22

Keep Breathing, not breath.  The name of that show.  I am not very bright.

Maybe I have dunning krueger problems after all.  There is a guy i sent the info to, a physicist, asked him to do the math then get back with me.  That was a while ago, i cannot keep track of these people who dont stay in touch.  I need to add something to these follow ups that dont go anywhere to the calendar, what to do with them?

It is sunday morning.

 After lunch and posting the post i went outside to warm up and read. It was not long after i started reading about the first electrocution (intentional) execution that I was forced to meditate and finally to fall asleep in the heat, 90 degrees in the shade.  I woke up much refreshed although groggy and sweaty only  to see there was too much sun on the pool to swim so i planned then to check back in an hour or so.

I had work to do, but I felt no pressing desire to start it.  The patent, the book, the fundraising the scheduling the follow up, it is not like there is any shortage of work.  I knew the pool water would be warm and full of leaves and if it was not too green it would certainly be green enough to be a problem.

At 410pm i looked at the radar, a sky filled with tiny little thunderstorms.

I decided death would mean I don't have to think about being apart anymore and did 2000 yards, all the im of course.  There were darkish patches of sky along with blue and after my shower I heard a peel of thunder, but I was out and showered.  By 6:30 I was thinking hard about the cats which I allowed to stay out later than normal, but in an hour I had to make sure they are in.  I hoped they would come in on their own, but I was worried.

This morning was a mess.

Woke at 630, although I did wake earlier. I could have slept longer, the cats, fortunately, had other plans.

I had a little under a half cup of coffee already made.  i needed to drink that to get the energy to start on something more.  The coffee shop, well that was a trip too far.

I think the battery life on this thing is like 100 minutes., maybe 2 hours.  It's not really portable, it is a light desk top.

I don't have a list of what i need to do.  If I did things would probably go faster.

I have been contiuing to work on the issue of collision and information exchange.  It is an important thing because it happens at all levels all the time.

It only takes 30 minutes to bake pork chops.  I can have a stir fry for lunch or dinner and then make the maccoroni.  But will I?  Its not a hard or time consuming thing but for whatever reason i havent done it yet.

So here is the thing for those people:

1) a list of names; follow up date or dead end or to add to list

2) the date when the last contact was made and when to follow up

3) a column with some info

I can reorder it based on the follow up date, probably something i should do with the grants too.

This is already done in part on the contacts list.  The charting needs to be improved, that is all.

So lunch happened and so did the beginnings of that graph.

The dog enjoyed the bones although he ate them so quickly it scares me.  I have to debate on the second bone assuming the first one doesnt kill him.

I think to be a good screen writer you have to be able to carry on a conversation with someone who isnt there, but you have to carry on both sides of the conversation.  I have the first part but im not so sure  about the second part.

In the second part of the conversation I only hear anger.  Maybe that is fair.

I have many regrets, they date back to before I was 10, I have been thinking of one from when I was 18, those late in life sometimes seem pretty small compared to those others.

I think that I am able to make amends by saving this wretched race for another generation or two; what if I cant or what if my motivation isnt pure enough, because it isnt pure.  Doing the right thing for the right reason is not necessarily critical.  I suppose it has to be enough to just do the right thing.

I started on the caulking.  It was only a fraction of what needed to be done, but I am convinced that it will help some.  It is not the same as wood and probably will involve something beyond paint after I am done caulking, some type of polymer sealant perhaps like what I am looking for in the pool.  I will have to see, the products are there.