New Deadlines: 21 days and 71 days and 99 days

I didn't sleep well last night and was too tired to exercise tonight. I read what you wrote and I know what I took from it the first time on my phone and read it a couple of times after and felt it was clear enough for me not to call. It is easy to forget all of that.

My target weight has been breached yet again.

It's been a long day.  Not over yet, but I'm just listening to a seminar in the background.

I started on the 71 day project today, but even as I started the project grew exponentially.  It is, however, fascinating, predictable and unexpected.

In hind sight the surprising becomes mundane.

Three weeks till I leave, 71 days to get the next pct filed, 99 days to thanksgiving; that last to put the former into a glaring perspective for both of us.

I need to go because of apocalyptic conditions: https://apple.news/AZVTE_7JbRcCcW1XA3ZFEQw.

I slept better last night; given how exhausted I was, it would have been hard not to sleep.  I woke in a lather about what to write about the operation of this new arrangement which is also an old arrangement for the different purposes to which it can be applied in concept.

Tomorrow I have to sell this again; although it is largely sold already.  An entirely new way of approach a problem using methods that have been in existence here on earth for billions of years.  It doesn't sound consistent; but then many things don't.

I have been trying to make those words mean something else.  The good thing about a blog is that you can just edit it or delete it.  Not sure I've ever deleted anything; saving that for posterity if there is one, but I have edited usually for mundane reasons but often because my emotions are too strong, too out of control to let them run amuck.

I see you trying to set me up again.  Don't think I am going to fully let my guard down.  You are far too clever for me to let that happen.  You don't get that control with an email or a letter.  The words are locked in place.  I know in this day and time there are letters that self destruct; I suppose those have existed in spy novels for long periods of time and in emails or even public posts those things exists today; but in some ways it is better if they hang around and fester in the minds of the reader.

I don't know how to change those meanings, knowing my needs I know what I want; but I should be far from petulant; hoping I can change the meaning to meet my immediate needs and hopefully yours.  I only have 3 weeks to wait, but I also only have 3 weeks to do whatever else I need to do to get ready for October 29th, the 71rst  day.  It is and should be my plan to do this in New Mexico, still terrified that that will work out and we won't, that it will fall apart; that I will get there and not be able to work, to meet that distant deadline which in some ways I can outsource or meet much sooner.  

3/29/14-called depression, but more about how to deal with it.

1) cultivate relationships that help
2) replace negative thoughts with balanced ones
3)http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_tips.htm