I woke up this morning telling myself that I needed to seriously change course. Obsession has its place, but when obsession and love or whatever that thing is get together it just mucks up everything.
Sometimes I want to use words like hate, like you do, but on even the most cursory self examination those thoughts fail to hold up to logic.
You think you have problems, I can't live like this.
Perhaps that is the problem, you can't live like this either. Perhaps we will both find something which is, if not what we want, then enough. For the moment, the hostility is enough for me; it gives me something to hold onto as I suppose it gives you something to hold onto. But hold onto it. If that is the right thing to do, hold onto it. I wish I were capable of putting it there, but I am not, some personal defect, interesting because my brother seems to have the ability to hold onto real or imagined slights interminably.
Changing where I am living is now just 26 days away. And yes, it is temporary, but permanent things come from temporary changes. It need not concern you, I dare say it should not concern you. I have already changed my plans based on what happened, it no longer matters how I get there; so I have shortened the process while not increasing the cost significantly yet. The transportation issue is up in the air and will most likely result in a significant increase; so thank you for nothing; but there are many futures in what has been done and what will happen so we will see what path that leads to; or more accurately I will see what will happen. Whether you will see anything or not depends on what I write and what you read so we both have some say in that.
Speaking of changing course, this came up today, it will be interesting to see if it changes more.
This day's historical post; was a weird post, having nothing in it but the word mistakes in the title, a topic on which I could spend considerable time. But then who couldn't?
So we move from February to March of 2014.
March 1, 2014
Mistakes
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