10/1/61 the final countdown

 A storm which is probably going to be a category 5 at least from the eyes of history with 16 feet of storm surge will be a 100 year (plus) event.

This graphic shows 6 potential storms on the atlantic side, well some are actual storms.

Maybe this view tells more about what this means.
This doesn't include the storm just on the other side of mexico.

This shows the 48 hour, I drew a line to show one that could follow Ida, although I suppose that is unlikely.  What a picture.

10:37 AM

The effects here are just wind and some rain which I need to fill the pool anyway.  I saw about an hour ago that there was 20 or 30 minutes until the first thunderstorms so after too much vacillation I threw off my clothes and jumped in the pool.  It was surreal, getting darker as I swam and the pool already filled and continuing to fill with debris was like swimming through a semi-solid; I must think on this because it is relevant to things I think.

I managed to get a short swim in including my entire contingent of im, right before I started the last 18 strokes of crawl, I heard the first thunder, but it was distant, so I speeded up and finished a 500 yard warm up, 1100 IM and no warm down at all, but I plan to stretch later.

The outer bands are here now and I think the pool will be taken care of within the hour.

It is worrisome for while I had to swim early and fast, there are potentially millions who are going to be impacted for a significant period of time.

It was a slow day and not much was accomplished, thankfully yesterday was good enough to make up for Friday and today.

I watched the car drive through the hurricane lashed streets of new orleans, coming tantalizingly close to those places which I wanted to see the most, but it was, after all, mostly a rainy day to those who were not in it.

This has not impacted my trip or the countdowns, the shortest ending tomorrow, probably unaddressed, the 10 day one was confirmed to still be a good one, that launch has not ended, and the third down to less than two 31 day months.  If this means anything it means that I have to focus on what comes next and make some decisions; but not before the 10 day deadline and there is much that will occur between now and then.

This has not been a very interesting post nor an important one; but it is better to get it off of my computer desktop.

I will end it with a reference to something I wrote a long time ago to deal with my stress and which looms large in the near future which was the topic of a comic's monologue this weekend which I did not hear.

11/2/62

The storm is approaching even faster than the deadlines, appearing more or less out of nowhere a few days ago.  Now the cities of New Orleans and Baton Rouge are both facing what could be nothing or catastrophic damage in the ways of hurricanes although nothing is appeearing increasingly unlikely.

I redeemed by work today, getting  in a productive, blistering day from before the sun came up until long after the normal lunch hour, essentially getting to where I had hoped to get Friday.  I do not plan to let up, for the deep editing remains to be done, but I plan to finish a filable draft tomorrow if things do not get out of hand with the weather.

Now it is just gentle breezes and the sounds of wind chimes.

One storm is threatening the west coast, the other simultaneously the gulf.  That being said, it is a beautiful picture of the power of global warming and the western storm is predicted to bring much needed rain to the southwest, perhaps not as much as they would otherwise like and much all at once; but rain when you need it must be taken as it comes and not as you like it.  The gulf storm brings unnecessary rain and it will come very fast indeed.

The pool needs some water, I suppose it is very likely it will get it.

The storm somehow makes my thoughts of you more intense, memories of rain pouring down outside wide open french doors barely perceptible over our thoughts of each other but there nonetheless.

After the intellectual work, i did a long bike ride followed  by a weight workout and the ride back, uphill both ways, the sun came out for the ride back and the wind was in my face and i was dehydrated enough to break out some old gatorade.

I doubt i will have trouble getting to sleep despite the storm and the worries of what it will bring on Sunday.  My package delivery for today has been delayed, irritating, but not impossible to deal with.  I think i made a mistake in ordering and i am going to get a gold and not black case, but perhaps it is just as well.

11 days now, i put more detail into my packing list, looking at different things in the way of  clothing for colder weather.  It is rushing faster and faster, the time seems to be not enough, the days disappearing quicker than the work that needs to be done during them.  But I feel very good today after the work I did and while I know that the countdown days which start tomorrow (10, 9, 8...) will add more pressure, I feel comfortable that I can do what needs to be done.

I thought i bought a bag of dog food which was too big, but with 2 weeks it looks like it may just down to a more perfect size before I leave.  I need to start thinking of dog  packing, leashes, watering bowls, poop bags and the like.   It is  a dirty bit of business having to deal with a dog on the road.

I apparently have decided I am good with what i had filed already although there is still tomorrow and perhaps the morning to look at the remaining areas.  I have the LOI, I made a note and highlighted that it needed to be added because I think it is not.

I have, I think 100 pages and it is merely another 3 so it will likely fall within the framework that I have set for myself, much relieved that this can all be done at once and by the beginning of next week in rough form, far ahead of the deadline I set, even though within the countdown days.

Perhaps if I can't sleep, I will incorporate the LOI where it needs to go and perhaps i will run down the list and see if there is not a place for it to be added to the already long list, it being important in the area of saving mankind.

Of course, I am told it is already where it needs to be; but for my mistrusting nature.

Speaking of mistrusting nature, the volcano has been quiet on those times when I have looked at it today after much activity; perhaps it will come back, jealous of the storms or perhaps it will allow those to play out their part in today's dance.

Perhaps I will come back and edit this later, but I am mindful that my energy which is still high, may run out.

12/3/63

 Yesterday after a mere 500 yards I was chased from the pool by lightening and did nothing else.  Today, the weather was pleasantly cool in the morning but on a day when I needed to get 9 hours of work in I only was efficient for 2 due to the innumerable distractions that come with getting ready to leave in what is now a mere 12 days.  

I did nothing to shorten the paper meaning I have to work all weekend on that, but I did address in very general terms the carbon capture which is going to be an interesting undertaking, slow and steady wins the race; but I was not steady or winning, just slow.

I had to burn off the stress and got my full swim in, butterflies fluttering above me during the backstroke.  It's been a summer full of butterflies.  Even that was not enough, so I rode my bike up several hills till I sweated out as much of the stress as I could before it got too dark to ride safely.

I heard the hurricane would hit on the anniversary of katrina; Ida is the name of the cousin who died whose name I couldn't remember, beautiful Ida whose life was cut too short, whose husband and children have disappeared into the mists of time.

I know you are busy, busy ghosting me and busy doing what you need to do.  The next two days I have to make full days of them to make up for the lost day today, but I am ready for that; but not ready for everything else.  I need to make sure I do not feel the stress of it, I can treat it as the work ahead to get the treat of the freedom that waits for me in under a fortnight.

13/4/64

 Quote of the morning: "Thursday AM spaghetti models. Still consistent... Invest 99 likely to become a Hurricane with impacts as early as this Sunday. Could be a Major to prepare for. That's only 3 days to prepare."www.spaghettimodels.com

The picture below makes the timeline for a windy day appear even sooner.

I had to focus on solar yesterday in showing the application of AuT modeling of biological systems; for the sake of humanity it would have been nice to do the same for oxygen production and carbon capture; but that is perhaps a target for the 64 day period and not the one for 4 days or even 13.

A short study of the carbon capture problem shows it to be daunting, but there is a staged process inherent in my initial methodology and many people have come up with partial systems.  That being said, the equivalences are much harder to find and even after the initial drawings saving the world from this particular mess looks difficult.  However, i have a different approach to the problem in my back pocket, compression.  we will see, in the race to save mankind, losing is not really an option for me.

i walked and swam yesterday, thunder got me out of the pool after only 500 yards,today but i am ok with that.

Time is incredibly short, but this storm will be here even sooner than the first deadlines, but things have progressed to the point where i feel pretty comforable with the first one.

14/5/65

14 days left.  The time is short.  We will cover the other dates.

Storms kept me out of the pool which allowed me to experiment further with the stair workout, too short but rather than increase the length, I did two to three sets of most of the weights, but it was too crowded especially with covid to sit around so I did some sort of stride equipment to add another 15 minutes.

It didn't seem like enough, but when I got hope I found brushing the pool (note pool boys have good muscles so this qualifies as exercise too) that I was a little sore.  From above and below it I look pretty darned good for a fossil.  I need to work a lot harder on the gut.  I think of the sculptures of Moses, not that good, but in that direction.  At least there are some fairly sharp definition there.

Potential Nobel prize knowledge in math, physics, chemistry and biology plus a hot body (sort of in all cases).  Quite the catch, your jealousy is understandable.here is an ominous picture.

Here's a short nightmare for you. I was getting ready to ride and a I kicked off another bike ran into me with such violence it woke me up.

Two nights ago there was a three room dream which made some sense but is unclear.  It drifted into a global warming driving till there was water around and within hotels and then this one filling station which made me wonder what happened if someone kicked up a wake and in this small, flat island of a gas station there was  a sidewalk where people were standing around.  I think it was florida, but maybe it didn't start that way and how the three room or three alternative moved into the flooded area dream is unclear to me.

Last night I dozed instead of sleeping for much of the night and my dreams tended to be thoughts that drifted in and out of reality.

It is now a mere two weeks before I leave.  I have all but one, at a stretch I don't plan to take, 2 of this month's applications to get out.  I am hoping for some advice this day or next; but I am shifting my focus to getting the other documentation out and that will include improving the documentation should the opportunity to file something present itself.   I have two weeks to shorten this, organize it and, the easiest part, file it.  Then I will have around 50 days to edit it further.  It is plenty to do in the time period provided even if there is nothing else to do.

3 fully filed are pending, maybe 1 has a decent chance although all are good.

I have to deal with 6 hours more of professional development.  Doing one hour today, one next month for the moment.  Targeting all the free stuff, pretty sure I can find some way to sneak in all 6 hours.  It is frustrating but is useful or would be if I was going to be a professional. They ask questions so you have to pay attention, but they send a noise signal, which means that if you were not paying attention you could jump to it and the questions are often pretty easy to answer if you have any experience.

I am imagining my briefing when I get to the remote manor...On mondays, the esscaped convicts come by; that is pretty dangerous but the maniacs escape on tuesday, then the gang members ride their motorcycles or perhaps they are  young gangs on tricycles, and on and on.  

16/7/67

This unusual timeline reflects that the date for the LOI(s) is upon me.  Enough of those, including the one with the most support, have been submitted, so that type of deadline is out of the way, but there are other options out there.  There are a couple of others that fit within the scheme of things.  I need to revise my workload around getting those done this week, I was waiting for feedback but it isn't coming in time.

The AF is gone for better or worse.

My subconscious is not very subtle, dreaming of traveling alone underwater, others unsuccessfully following me, accompanied by monsters that seep into the ceiling.

You don't have to give lip service to my attestations of affection.  Not a single comment about the butterfly song, obviously there is nothing really there.  Just an excuse to keep ghosting me I guess.

You know what waits for me.  Every snake in New Mexico, Every escaped prisoner or madman will stop by waiting only for the grisly bears to decide who will have its way with my body.  Every ghost of every dead miner or outlaw, every demon of the high plains desert will haunt me for what passes for my soul.  All of the monsters real or imagined will haunt my nights, laughing at my attempts to sleep or find peace.  I can see why you don't want to be a part of it.  And perhaps if all of that is not enough, I will be struck down by the pestilence or find myself trapped alone on a mountain by snows or some zombie apocalypse.  Make fun of me all you like, it is the end I have made for myself, I have made my bed, I will not sleep; but I may die of fear in it.

I was only 1.2 pounds over my target weight this morning, but that after a ride/swim workout combination.  After missing lunch I ended up eating the rest of the afternoon.

I got a lot done this morning, but this afternoon has been a lot slower, couldn't stop myself from eating, even finishing off those oatmeal cookies.  At the end I was in a type of stupor which I treated with a walk in conditions so humid, I sit hear soaked and not much recovered; but at least it is a different suffering, the ghosts instead of my fellow madmen.

I made some serious progress on several fronts this morning, pretty much stuck with two provisional instead of just one if I'm going to retire even that conceptually before the 16 days are up; but that becomes fairly doable.  I'm already pretty close, maybe as few as 20 pages away with reducing text size and stacking the drawings together.  It was a pretty radical and fast cut away; but there is so much new stuff that the old stuff is becoming superfluous.  Even so, 200 pages will have to be cut much further back, it'll be a real s-storm of editing in new mexico.  That gets me to the next group of submissions which allows me to resubmit, in some parts, the most detailed one so I get at least to shots there.  What I have done is amazing, I am surprised as I have always been, there is so much to do yet; even as time grows short.

My author copies are arriving late on Wednesday now.  Plenty soon enough.

17 days/68 days/racing butterflies

I raced a butterfly up the hill at the end of my bike.  He did not race me for too long, but you could tell he was showing me that he could beat me if he really wanted and I think I showed him that I felt the same way. Of course, you can never be 100% sure what a butterfly is thinking.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZYHCeuhjrA

I detected the not too subtle hostility towards a future with me.  The way you treat me reflects an increasing distance.  I cannot ignore you, though when I cross the north side of the like, to you I will only be another  madman across the water. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWrzhWnzhAs

There are not so subtle ways I treat you in my subconscious.  You may not like my "romance" novels, but if I chose to embrace the darkness within me instead of turning my back on it, it is because I have no choice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4irXQhgMqg

Everyone else will have you, what does that leave me?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xrSW9cWuc0

You can ignore my math as the rantings of a madman, but there is a single equation that defines the meaning of us being here (fpix) and renders your gods meaningless; and by that math we're all just rats in a cage.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-r-V0uK4u0

Revenge will me mine, for scholars will pick apart my pornography long after better literature has been forgotten. Your literary heroes will be long gone, but I will still be here.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7UrFYvl5TE

Don't get into my private conversations and seek to judge me when you have no point of refence in my life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtjXFcb7EJY

I cannot find any satisfaction in that future, everything fades to nothing for me when I look into your eyes and it has been so long.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3kFPBtc9BE

19-18/69: Things quicken DQ 30

I set my timer for 9am and it clicked to 18 days and someodd hours so I am correcting things here today.

Yesterday the weather failed me when I needed to swim so I had trouble getting to sleep. Of course, it seems like I am always up early.  I spent a great deal of time, relatively speaking, on core work; my back feels good this morning.

Today the weather should cooperate if I swim early, we'll see how that works out.  My hands were sore from the rowing followed by the floor work, they could use a rest.

It is still morning, but I went ahead and swam and finished before 9:30.  It is nice to have that out of the way.

I have had yet more work that I've created on the 69 issue.  I fear that I will have to break the provisional in half to cover everything and that the PCT will be much abbreviated from what I'd like it to be; but there is no way around that.

I want, at least, to have the provisional out of my office in 18 days, the PCT can, theoretically, wait.  In 3 days I'm supposed to have the second edition of the NPTE which will give me something to work on which I can hold, although it may just serve as a point of reference until the day 69 issue is resolved.

69 days is both a long time and a short time.

If you look at the first posts on the trip to the desert and this one you can see the steady acceleration of time.

The science progresses apace so fast it is hard to stop long enough in the advances to do the drafting for protection and grants.  There is a great deal of empirical knowledge to pick through and adapt. As Walt Wittman said, “be curious, not judgmental,” even though everyone else is wrong. 

What does the star of Ted Lasso use to get by?

https://news.dunkindonuts.com/blog/latte-vs-cappuccino-vs-macchiato-whats-the-difference; I guess we have to have macchiatos together in new mexico, or perhaps just I do; the thing to get me by.

I filed one LOI, it is late in the day.  It may have made sense to wait on that for a while, but it was ready, its just one out of several that I want out of my office next week and responses have been slow.  It will be interesting to see where it goes, writing it helped to put some things in focus that will be in the patent.

The work increases and it is uncertain just how things will work in NM, will it be easy as I hope or will it prove difficult?  If I can get this work done by the 18th, then things will be considerably easier; there are, perhaps, 4 LOI(s) to do in that time frame, another one which should be ready next week which has no time limit, and then the document which has not been opened yet.  It's a lot to deal with; but the editing is almost peaceful, just deleting superfluous information, organizing what is left, deleting again, adding in new documents and repeating the process until it is initially down to 100 pages.  

It is possible that much of that work can be outsourced, but it makes more sense to do it myself, because so much of the development work has come from these efforts.

18 days and so many hours, it is a lot to take in, far less time than I need; but perhaps enough.  One more note, I should have the next editions in 3 days or did I say that already?

This is a bizarre little post from 4/8/14 which includes a paragraph which I'm guessing someone else wrote; I must attempt to figure out where from.

4/8/14

Vet: Sanfu, fubar,

TARFU[edit]

TARFU stands for totally and royally fucked up or things are really fucked up. The 1944 U.S. Army animated shorts Three Brothers and Private Snafu Presents Seaman Tarfu In The Navy (both directed by Friz Freleng), feature the characters Private Snafu, Private Fubar, and Seaman Tarfu.^[8][9]

BOHICA[edit]

BOHICA stands for bend over, here it comes again. It is an item of acronym slang which grew to regular use amongst the United States armed forces during the Vietnam War.^[10][11] It is used colloquially to indicate that an adverse situation is about to repeat itself, and that acquiescence is the wisest course of action. It is commonly understood as a reference to being sodomized. An alternative etymology relates the expression to the days of sail and avoiding being struck by the boom, which would swing around the mast due to shifts in wind or the vessel's course. Although it originated in the United States military forces, and is still commonly used by United States Air Force fighter crew chiefs and armament crews, its usage has spread to civilian environments, used to describe unavoidable, unpleasant situations that have inconvenienced someone before and are about to yet again.

FIGMO[edit]

FIGMO describes a person, especially one who has a short remaining time on station, who has a lax attitude toward their work. The acronym stands for 'Fuck it, I've got my orders'. The set of orders implied are transfer or release orders, and once you have those it doesn't matter much what your current commanding officer thinks of you any longer.

They have set a giant out against us.
I believe it is only something called the burning man.  Smoke was beginning to rise from the giant structure.  Rock music was blaring so they could barely be heard.
No, I tell you it is a giant and I must slay him.
And with that he was on his motorcycle, Seventy clinging to him, trying to make him stop, but the motorcycle tore them free.  Seventy ran to his motorcycle, but he knew he was too late.
DQ broke through a wooden barrier, people were screaming and springing out of his way.
The towering statute of a man was burning and into this frame, DQ flew.

FUBB[edit]

FUBB, according to Gordon L. Rottman's FUBAR: Soldier Slang of World War II, was a term used by American soldiers and Marines during the second world war. It may either stand for 'fucked up beyond belief' or 'fouled up beyond belief.'

20 (or 19) and 70 and an early look: Non-linear time, predicting the future and time travel

So my counter changes in the afternoon instead of at midnight or what might be the better time (9am) so I can say it says twenty days (less than 2 weeks) now, but later today it will be only 19.  Life begins at the end of your comfort zone, quote of the countdown of the day. 

Today was a busy day that left me needing a swim, especially after the muggy walking conditions, but the storms came and would not go away, distant lightening that gradually got closer, now it is right over me.  The pool needed water, so it is ok.

Since I couldn't do the swim I did 20 minutes of core and yoga; so I did do at least a little of the core work I should be doing.

The lights are flickering, I wonder how long it will be till I has to stop working because the internet connection is lost.

It would be a good night to be together, trapped inside.  Of course there were none of those endearments we were supposed to be trading, but I think we are in a place where they need to be coming if they are not already hear.

The 70 days and 20, now perhaps 19 and 69, days is a big deal, I've now started to march hard towards getting everything ready for the 20 (19) day deadline when I will send everything off for a review for the first time, using some of the unexpected funding that came in over the last couple of weeks, just when I needed it the most.  It will be interesting to see if I get my money's worth out of this.

It will be nice to get another opinion and will give me time to focus on some of the details which are not yet fully developed, the things which are written, the keys to this and that.

I am just reaching out because the storm makes me lonely, although if you are happy that would improve my mood no matter what the cost to me in the long run.  And if you are not doing anything else that makes you happy, you can be happy knowing how much I am thinking of you, how wonderfully happy it is for me to think about you.

Continue storm, lightning and thunder, 

blow wind, wash away my cares; 

to make room for the new ones;

I am a cowboy

bound for the high plains desert

Living by the sea

Excited by the changes that are close on the horizon.

What was going on in April of 2014...

4/8/14

History doesn't exactly repeat itself, but it does come awfully close.
This is partially due to the finite ability of the human mind.
We are going to die, individually and as a species.  We are going to kill ourselves by creating life, if something else doesn't kill us first.  Our governments will kill us to stay in power which is something common to all governments.  The failure to come up with a system that actually works, is a reflection of our weakness as a species, not our failings as individuals.  This happens over and over again and I cannot explain it to you.

If time comes from a single source, as may be the case and is supported by the god hypothesis, if you can call it that, then when time goes completely non-linear it goes back to this single source.
If that is the case, it might be possible to travel in time, so why don't we observe this.
The answer probably lies in what happens when time goes non-linear, as in black holes.  Black holes apparently (in NLT) radiate two things: 1) high energy and 2) space.  Neither of these has linear clock time although both have spatial coordinates corresponding with a place where entities with clock time coexist.

New Deadlines: 21 days and 71 days and 99 days

I didn't sleep well last night and was too tired to exercise tonight. I read what you wrote and I know what I took from it the first time on my phone and read it a couple of times after and felt it was clear enough for me not to call. It is easy to forget all of that.

My target weight has been breached yet again.

It's been a long day.  Not over yet, but I'm just listening to a seminar in the background.

I started on the 71 day project today, but even as I started the project grew exponentially.  It is, however, fascinating, predictable and unexpected.

In hind sight the surprising becomes mundane.

Three weeks till I leave, 71 days to get the next pct filed, 99 days to thanksgiving; that last to put the former into a glaring perspective for both of us.

I need to go because of apocalyptic conditions: https://apple.news/AZVTE_7JbRcCcW1XA3ZFEQw.

I slept better last night; given how exhausted I was, it would have been hard not to sleep.  I woke in a lather about what to write about the operation of this new arrangement which is also an old arrangement for the different purposes to which it can be applied in concept.

Tomorrow I have to sell this again; although it is largely sold already.  An entirely new way of approach a problem using methods that have been in existence here on earth for billions of years.  It doesn't sound consistent; but then many things don't.

I have been trying to make those words mean something else.  The good thing about a blog is that you can just edit it or delete it.  Not sure I've ever deleted anything; saving that for posterity if there is one, but I have edited usually for mundane reasons but often because my emotions are too strong, too out of control to let them run amuck.

I see you trying to set me up again.  Don't think I am going to fully let my guard down.  You are far too clever for me to let that happen.  You don't get that control with an email or a letter.  The words are locked in place.  I know in this day and time there are letters that self destruct; I suppose those have existed in spy novels for long periods of time and in emails or even public posts those things exists today; but in some ways it is better if they hang around and fester in the minds of the reader.

I don't know how to change those meanings, knowing my needs I know what I want; but I should be far from petulant; hoping I can change the meaning to meet my immediate needs and hopefully yours.  I only have 3 weeks to wait, but I also only have 3 weeks to do whatever else I need to do to get ready for October 29th, the 71rst  day.  It is and should be my plan to do this in New Mexico, still terrified that that will work out and we won't, that it will fall apart; that I will get there and not be able to work, to meet that distant deadline which in some ways I can outsource or meet much sooner.  

3/29/14-called depression, but more about how to deal with it.

1) cultivate relationships that help
2) replace negative thoughts with balanced ones
3)http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_tips.htm

22 days: mistakes

Yesterday was another very busy day; but towards the end of the day I finally opened up the last email from you to read at my leisure.  It had been a couple of days of not a moment to spare, falling asleep more easily and I was in a fairly good mood, hard work, exercise and a moment's respite from the sharp light and lazy heat; filled with a peaceful anticipation, ready to relish in the words I had skimmed a couple of days before which had been of love and wanting to be together in a stable relationship, words which had sustained me for days and given me the strength to push for the change that is so important in my life; to draft the documents that needed to be drafted, to do the meetings that had to be held, the tough conversations that had to be spoken.

However, it was not to be that way.  For reasons that are impossible for me to explain, I had misread everything.  Indeed, I had anticipated a call or another message to follow up, perhaps even to plan something.

I was excited to be able to explain the misunderstandings about what was and was not an emotion bomb.

I had thought that things were going well, that we had been making love to one another; only to realize at the end that I had been making love to myself.  That through whatever self delusion I suffered, those words that I had been so certain I had understood had an entirely different meaning when read at leisure.

I was in shock, suddenly realized there was something I needed at the store without being sure what it was; I lurched out of my office uncertain if I had turned on the alarm or locked it even; relying on instinct.  Once in the store, I was disoriented, the isles seemed to be swaying in a rough sea, I paid twice as much as I should have for chlorine that was not the right size to last while I was gone.

The time between the office and the store had evaporated as if it had not existed.

To think that only that morning I had been doing plank exercises to fulfil what I thought was a common fantasy.  None of this was her fault, there was no illusion in the writing, only a delusion in reading it or, more accurately, in not reading it with care.  Perhaps it was yet another example of the madness that I suffer from.

It did not say we together, it was not about us.  It was about her being together with someone else.

My heart was broken and I thought that I must do something to pull the pieces together lest I enter some place from which I could never return.

The only thing which saved me was that I had not swam.  It was hot, not only the fierce heat of summer, but an internal heat from an internal hell.

My heart was pumping in every direction, stomach burning, head spinning; I hit the water and swam as hard as my heart would allow, relishing in the thought that if it burst the pain would stop.  It started slow, but the water immediately cooled my fevered brow, 500 yards and a certain rhythm was established, 1000 yards, a 400 im, a second 400im, a small bit of relief, the heart taking over forced by the need to supply oxygen, 300 im to finish it off and then the exhaustion setting in, the endorphins, a moments relief.  Despite the futility of it, I did another minute of plank, my heart pounding with the limited effort after the swim, me insulting myself as the body complained it had done enough already, but knowing that I had to keep up my illusion even if only so I could sleep that night.

I wish I could hate you for fooling me, but you did not, you were honest and perhaps even kind to not lead me on and I am stuck where I am.

Twenty two day, a mere three weeks; but there is nothing to look forward to except being alone and maybe that is enough, for whatever is out there in the desert, it will be mine and mine alone to savor.

Maybe it is time to stop writing this. I wanted so badly last night to Share this to say how deeply it hurt me, but I have been hurt a lot,  I have a record of every cut and scrape though none appear on the outside.  

I am like you,  I need someone else so I can move on. It's worse for me because you are so good at what you do and because it seems irreplaceable and my own actions irresponsible. How often in my short life have I lost something of value because of my recklessness, you're just another priceless artifact I let roll into the sewer that is my past. 

I could not sleep last night,  I wonder that I even tried. Today is another full and important day yet nothing seems to matter.  And yet, when the sun comes up the day will be full of promise, rising like a red rubber ball, although actually a yellow rubber ball.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxRfbJvjsN8

It's just a question of how many red balls I have to see before the evenings cease to stretch out forever.

And lastly, powerful photographic art “Disappearing Females” Photo by Yemeni photographer Boushra al-Moutawakel

It is strange to read what was happening in March of 2014.  While I know this post was between the two other posts in March, I cannot say the exact date because I was so very distraught that I did not take note of the date when I opened it.  It does, however, fit my mood and very well could have been written yesterday afternoon.

March 20, 2014 more or less

my biggest mistake was either
loving you or letting you go
and how would I know which
when so little is known
about alternate paths in life

23 days: Spacetime gravity waves and fster than light expansion

I slept easily till 5:30 this morning.  I did not swim or get any hard exercise yesterday.  While I have exercised almost every day for months, my goal of concentrating on my core to eliminate the vestiges of a "gut" in favor of whatever 6-pack concept I could develop in that period of time has largely been ignored.

Yesterday was no exception even though I watched some stomach toning exercises.  If I'm doing (as I did yesterday without hard exercise) 40-50 minutes a day of high intensity exercise (walking up a steep hill in heat and 100% humidity pulling along a heavy dog apparently qualified); it has to have at least some minimal effects there; but it clearly is not enough.

Yesterday, at least, I did portion control on my eating; but its too little too late if I want to have a better body than the one I had 10 days ago when all of this started.  10 days is an approximation, it may have been 20; perhaps you can help with that.

I could easily spend 5 minutes right now doing core work, even a minute or two of plank; so time is not an excuse.  I will try to focus on this today just as I ate an apple for the first time in several days, an inexplicable thing to stop eating.  I am uncertain what is going on with me, I seem to be very unstuck and distracted.  Yesterday I also shredded some paperwork which was too bulky to deal with otherwise as I prepare to leave.

I continue to be interested in getting the patent done in the next 3 weeks; but it seems increasingly unlikely.  It is all I can do to focus on the grant work that I have to do which, while integral to the patent work, is separate.  I fear that project will travel with me to the desert.  That is not a serious problem.  If I am settled in by the middle of the month, I will still have 30 days to finish what can be a fairly easy project, perhaps one taking only 30 days or so.  I also have arranged for some drafting help at a very low cost and several things have happened recently which make that sort of extravagance easier; while the last couple of big things seem to be dragging on interminably.  It reminds me that the project in the north of the adjoining state threatens to become a distraction just when I need to focus on it again.  I'll know more about that by Thursday, I think.

I'm breathing a little harder.  I had to get up, so I did a minute of plank.  It was not hard, if I am breathing hard, it is a good type of breathing hard.  I do need to get at least 5 or 10 minutes of that type of core work a day, it doesn't take much out of me and while it is hard to call this a start, it is noteworthy in that it is a start of sorts.  Who am I doing it for?  Maybe just for me, the crazy person in the desert; on the bright side I now only need to do this for 23 days instead of the 43 days it should have been with results that I would be starting to see now.  Most of me is where it needs to be already so if I focus on this one part, I may within the few days left, be able to make this work.

Today I will finish two LOI type documents with any luck; one requires showing some balance in a RE drawing and eliminating a potential partner; the other requires adding to the team which has grown explosively and far bigger than I intended and addressing a slew of suggestions.  Both can be finished although it will take a few hours of uninterrupted work and then there are others.  At some point, I need to collect everything and put it together for that patent; but for the moment I am focused just on getting what I can out of the office so I can focus on the other without the distraction of these deadlines, knowing there are other, similar grants that I have not begun to look at which will expand the scope of this already expansive pct.  On the bright side, other than having too many potential claims, the initial disclosure part is being drafted for both aspects at the same time which is why the looming deadline does not worry me too much.  At the same time, I must be mindful of the core work and how fast the days pass when I wait.

https://interestingengineering.com/massive-structure-extending-around-milky-way

One thing about the weird model of the neutron backbone as a tinker toy experience is that massive structures would exist out side of the main body of the MW galaxy.

This particular article (published long after the tinker toy model came out last year) seems to back that up; but in a way that is not necessarily pleasing to the senses.

The idea of the black hole backbone to the entire galaxy is complicated because minimum size black holes hide within planetary and solar bodies making them a part of the visible galaxy as opposed to independent structures, just as the neutron backbone is surrounded by other states of necessity since "empty space" is not a thing.

Let's go back to March of 2014.  Again I find myself with a post that says almost nothing.  In the next few posts, I will have the "draft count" drop below 280, although I have added one with the book I am writing.  I am hesitant to publish the first chapter because it contains offensive material in it; but I will come back to that.

3/17/14

http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/17/tech/innovation/big-bang-gravitational-waves/?hpt=hp_t2

24 days and a wake up. todo

The picture is a sad one, the balloons were all filled the first day of school, large with promise, now looking mostly sad and deflated.

The news is grim.  The  sad metaphor of women`s education in Afghanistan; such smart and proud younger women, the children who will never know what it is to learn.

I figured out the solution too late to suggest it.  They should have trained and armed all of the women and put them in charge of the military.

Instead, one of so many stupid religions based on concepts of god will ruin countless lives; a religion which is not one of those which I would like to believe could be true but which are rendered meaningless by mathematics; which I should add, do not eliminate a godlike presence; just one that provides us with a free will to chose to follow it or which cares what our cares are; although there is a logical path which I do not plan to go into which reads like this: if the god of gspace decides how the universe unfolds based on the controlling mathematics thereby giving rise to all of our beliefs and actions, by continuing to run the algorithm does that mean that god cares about our little part of the universe as a logical consequence?

The storms are falling apart or going where they do the least harm, for the moment; but covid continues to ravage plans and the economy helped by stupidity which is hard to understand for anyone other than those half educated Afghanistan women who are seeing their futures crushed in the name of radical Islamic doctrine.

I had increasingly bizarre dreams last night.

I was at a railroad yard trying to get home, witnessed an attempted theft (vs robbery) where I appeared too poor to rob I can only imagine, then found myself in a weirdly abandoned, canivalistic center in an otherwise dark area, walking distance from the rail line with an empty but well lit Denny's of all places, and no direct way to get to an airport (this is strangely consistent with the silver city trip where there is no mass transit between el paso airport and silver city, how weird is that, although you can take a bus to a middle of nowhere town and then try to get a cab etc to silver city; so not so weird i'd dream this; in trying unsuccessfully to go back to a deeper sleep I dreamt of being with what may have been a family in a run down shack, rented for the night from some person who had made a great deal of money on such rentals, without proper bedding or heat and with a floor that sagged dangerously and from there went to a court room to support another attorney who had been called before a now dead judge for some reason and it turned out that there were many people, some doing menial work practice who were being asked to prove they were doing sufficient public service work or being assigned to practice doing it.

All very weird and from that, I woke finally without the possibility of going back to sleep at 5:00 am and got up to feed the cats and drink coffee and write down my dreams before I forgot them, although first I answered some emails.

You might think with the trip coming up and all that the todo would refer to a list I was making March 3, 2014, but it included only this strange list of words which mean nothing to me today; you have disappeared again and I am sad but very busy.

3/3/14

peace with prosperity critical mass of development computers develop more than us late arrival

25 days: conceit

There is thunder in the distance; weather at least influenced by the low in the gulf of mexico?   Remnants of Fred, remnants of love; both in tatters as the clock hands slowly move past 5 am.

What happened to love in the time of apocalypse?  It was short lived, comparatively speaking, but the apocalypse is still relatively young.

I am jealous, not so much this morning when I am just tired, but at night.  Insanely as i am with everything else, but I would rather you are happy because love and jealousy live uncomfortable together but not quite as uncomfortable as I live apart from you. 

There is only one set of days.  The other will be two weeks overdue, I am not going to count those days, this week.  It is back to calendaring actions and not due dates.  One week ago Tuesday I sent a request for an update, I will follow up again this week perhaps with a call if nothing happens.  This remains a side show, something hardly worth this blog which is, after all is said and done, all over the place and nowhere at all.

I still have to monitor the trip countdown, it is too big and coming on too fast.  I found excitement and pleasure in the countdown calendar that was your idea, now it is just a countdown to the fear and loneliness i know is coming; but also to something else, something unknown. Perhaps i can be like you and find a stranger in the strange and lonely land, I can pretend that offers the same peace and sense of purpose.  Perhaps it will be real, I am old, but I am healthy and life is just beginning in so many ways.

I could start another family, sounds exhausting, but I suppose it would be possible.   For the moment, I think it better to focus on saving the world, something weirdly in my collection of things to do.

Yesterday I signed up for a chance to pitch the biology angle, a pretty far stretch, and to present where they are only looking for the next SAAS, but out west; and the cost was nothing other than to update something which needed updating anyway.  Like the website, which needs a lot more than I gave it, but I like it a great deal more and there will always be more there.

I wrote a lead in to the high plains desert in my mind and I think I may put it here.  It is in my mind both a parody and a tragedy.

This picture shows something awful and part of an awfully expensive meal which called itself a brunch but was just a series of over expensive dishes, like this one.  I can't tell you what this cost; but it was more than the best breakfast at some place with a really good breakfast like cracker barrel.  That is right, if you and I could have overcome our problems you'd have to go eat in a cracker barrel, at least every once in a while.  It would have been much better than this whether it looks good or not.  I couldn't even eat it; it pretended to be a cinnamon role, but that was just pretense, like so much else.  There are reasons for you to be happy with what you have done to this thing.

This horrid role is an example of described and apparent value being far less than actual value.

On march 2 of 2014, there was nothing but a quote.  I wonder if it was not a bit of advice I felt I would need 7 years later.

 

3/2/14

conceit spoils the finest genius.  Alcott

26 days/-11; Mistakes

I woke up this morning telling myself that I needed to seriously change course.  Obsession has its place, but when obsession and love or whatever that thing is get together it just mucks up everything.

Sometimes I want to use words like hate, like you do, but on even the most cursory self examination those thoughts fail to hold up to logic.

You think you have problems, I can't live like this.

Perhaps that is the problem, you can't live like this either.  Perhaps we will both find something which is, if not what we want, then enough.  For the moment, the hostility is enough for me; it gives me something to hold onto as I suppose it gives you something to hold onto.  But hold onto it.  If that is the right thing to do, hold onto it.  I wish I were capable of putting it there, but I am not, some personal defect, interesting because my brother seems to have the ability to hold onto real or imagined slights interminably.

Changing where I am living is now just 26 days away.  And yes, it is temporary, but permanent things come from temporary changes.  It need not concern you, I dare say it should not concern you.  I have already changed my plans based on what happened, it no longer matters how I get there; so I have shortened the process while not increasing the cost significantly yet.  The transportation issue is up in the air and will most likely result in a significant increase; so thank you for nothing; but there are many futures in what has been done and what will happen so we will see what path that leads to; or more accurately I will see what will happen.  Whether you will see anything or not depends on what I write and what you read so we both have some say in that.

Speaking of changing course, this came up today, it will be interesting to see if it changes more.

This day's historical post; was a weird post, having nothing in it but the word mistakes in the title, a topic on which I could spend considerable time.  But then who couldn't?

So we move from February to March of 2014.

 March 1, 2014

Mistakes

27 days/-10; 20 Traveling alone 2500 years ago and today-Greek government and China's weaponized economy Part 20

Where to start?   I rowed for 30 minutes yesterday.  That was hard, but if I had not done it everything else would have been much harder to deal with.   I finished dripping with sweat and despite the lack of other exercise, I was exhausted.  All I ate for dinner was a banana; but it was surprisingly enough and I had a terrible cup of coffee and a take out breakfast earlier which was terrible.   being an optimist, I started out early, wondering what I should do and hoping for a better result than yesterday suggested.

I am not very happy with my location this morning or my software application.  We should be working out our problems; and the app, well It is forcing me to work in a sort of reverse Chinese mode.

You can see the view (picture) as I write this, there are crows making the majority of the noise which is nice considering how crowded this city can be.  I have to keep moving lest the sun break through and become fierce.

I am in the partial shade, but this early in the morning it is neither too hot nor too sunny.  Of course, I am not where I has hoping to be this morning; but it perhaps less complex.  Of I am to get where I want to be it requires a personal journey of the type which I am taking in what is now a mere 27 days, less than 4 weeks.

It will be very different from this for I will be alone in a way that is in many ways exponentially greater than even the isolation of covid, for i will be isolated both by the new surge in covid and by the unique geography of the voyage; and perhaps more than that by the inexplicable emotional barriers between us.  You would say that I built that all by myself and I would tend to agree, a testament to my ability to construction impossible barriers even as I tear others down.

I have this new idea about the makeup of leaders, what they have in them, what drives them forward and back at the quantum level.  It is a whim, with a whif of science; i wonder if your moods which mean so much to me are driven by the same things.

I have a list of things to bring, which should include a mountain bike which will add substantially to the potential danger, a pump and a spare tube will go a long way towards ameliorating that, but how much.

It does not look like my attempts to secure a position there will go well, but that is not necessarily a bad thing and I could complete the process from my end and I have chosen not to do that.

There are strange and often scary people around me, but I am protected from the street my a fence and to some extent from those within the gates by covid which excuses one from otherwise ubiquitous interactions that I don't want or need.  The sideways keyboard and the weird location of the apostrophe key plague my writing, but it is going surprisingly well.

 It is time to go back to 2014, you said something about 11 years, perhaps that is further back than this; but let us go back there anyway.  The post dissolves into random thoughts which i could fix today, but why bother.  If I could not even fix this morning, why would i care to fix the past?

Well, this post from 2014 is certainly appropriate again.

2/19/14

Traveling can be a haphazard affair when it is forced on you or can involve obsessive planning even for a short trip.
In my case, it seems like everything planned became haphazard.  Perhaps it has been so since things didn't go the way they should have 30 years ago.  Imagine if everything that is done is supposed to happen along a single line and you were to get off of that line.  What would it take to get back on the line after 30 years of going in the wrong direction?
The humanists envisioned learning as of observation and reason.  The skeptics took this concept (dating back to Zeno) a little further and said how can you know anything.
The religions brought quantum mechanics into this with the question of how many angels could dance on the head of a pin.
Sane people wish to avoid death as long as possible.
When someone sees things for the first time, everything he knows could have thought dissolves and vanishes and he is left with feelings of surprise and wonder.

a planned trip, this one being in parts, first relatively short and the second very long indeed.  So with a few days to prepare, the first thing on the agenda is to step up the mileage swimming to make up the difference when the exercises might be more aerobic in nature.
Next is lining up the massive amounts of work that have to finished, China, a new government system of control including the past.
At least 3 separate governments and constant change seem to be indicated.  Let's talk about a purely theoretical model:
Government 1: Poor countries; 2 Rich over populated countries; 3: Rich balanced countries.  Technological development would be equated with wealth.  I'm going to assume that somehow religions have to work out their differences outside of the world government.
These governments would then be broken up further to ensure that we don't have the problems that the USA has experienced.
Lottery systems
Republics
Term limits

-3/32 Early Sunday morning

Here's a newer post with no old post.  It's built around a science alert; but it has more to do with early concerns.

I've been making a hard sale and while it is all in fun; I tend to get over excited about things and perhaps I should apologize for that.  It's all fun and games till someone gets hurt, but you have to work at improving things or they tend to get worse; and there is so much to be worried about; drought, floods, wildfires around the world (Greece and California are one); plague, melting ice-caps (the reason why this makes "practical" and not just romantic sense; there are 3 hurricane potential systems in the atlantic headed towards the gulf; not to mention the failing gulf stream and the apparent attempt by one party to circumvent democracy and the term limit problem (the absence of term limits) which seems to mean no matter what party is in power that governing is based on staying in the job and not doing it right, etc, etc.  Why not throw caution to the wind, it sounds like everything is going to hit the fan blowing the wind that it's being thrown into anyway?  Well, we made some decisions about that; so we have to be cautious about throwing out caution.  But we can look at where thing are and where they will be and take the best from all alternatives; whether it is anticipation or construction or abandonment of all hope the last of which sounds more apocalyptic than it is in this situation.

I am fairly certain that any psychiatric examination of this would paint it in darker terms; for my part I tend to use darkness, the dark force as it were, for what are at least to me beneficial purposes; which is the concept behind the remainder of this post.

I worry about this self image thing and I think the 30 day (well 31 day) challenge offered (inherent in?) by this fantastical proposition which involves so little commitment as an undertaking in itself is an excellent opportunity.  I am in fairly good shape for a 50,000 year old mummy; but I can do a lot of core work.  I'd propose the same; its only 30 days and whether it is for me or someone else, whatever improvements come about will not be lost.  You might say this sounds selfish (it certainly is selfish) but not everything that has a selfish aspect has all negative results and in this case given the common interests, what is selfish is also constructive; it makes a lot of sense too and doesn't really require any more than an hour (or even a half hour) of yoga a day for me and portion control at healthier meals.  These are not easy things, swimming is so damned easy right now and while I try for healthy/portion stuff; I get really hungry sometimes and get served too much; its worth it to impress me/myself I think; and I daresay that historically (if things come together) I can make it worthwhile and it is worthwhile in its own right and its not like I'm the one raising this issue constantly.

So with that in mind, I will set the goal for myself of doing core and a more balanced workout and a less gluttonous diet (good luck with that) over the next 30 days and we'll see what happens, whether for this good of our common interest or those which are unique to me which I'd assume will only build the excitement.

Now nothing is expected to happen today on the issue of these time frames except for the passage of time which is significant given how short this time frame has gotten.  The follow up is currently scheduled for Tuesday on my calendar and that is nothing more than an inquisitive email.  So we can pass on this as an issue.

This email originated as a mechanism for post which is entirely consistent with the atomic model in my new book.  Indeed if these structures were absent it would bring the tinker toy aspects of the model into question, so I daresay it is worth posting, given that it is a news story which comes far after the tinker toy design was first published, although it is now in its second formally published edition.

https://www.sciencealert.com/this-new-structure-in-the-milky-way-is-so-big-we-aren-t-sure-it-isn-t-a-spiral-arm?dc_data=1731639_samsung-carnival-us-att&utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=referral&ui=275cee3a-49bd-471f-941f-dcebbfc707ad-tuct80800aa

--2/33 and 9 Black Holes and space and time as we now know them: A review of non-linear time with some extra stuff-part 9

Slept better than I should with megadroughts, wildfires, volcanos, hurricanes, pandemics and whatever other clear indications we're in the middle of the apocalypse happen to be out there.

I'm too busy for this.

Monday is the day for me to follow up on my calendar, but then it will be a -5, it is a busy day already.  What is there and what isn't?  The silence is deafening.

My "budget" remains in flux for this.  There's a lot to deal with in the next 33 days, more than can be done in 40 days.  It would be nice to get some cushion for what is, after all, a fairly short period of time in the grand scheme of things.

Is it time to explore higher (sea level) places to live?  

Apparently so according to Jesse Kennan (Tulane): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE3N1f2XgGQ

And is there some place where can find a cheap lunch on the way?  I don't know and it depends on where you're going, but there are indications...

https://www.layerculture.com/blog/is-juarez-safe/

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurants-g150780-Ciudad_Juarez_Northern_Mexico.html

Makes the alternative of not doing it seem illogical?

On the science front, the paperback version of the NPTE is finally ready, cover issues which were pretty easy to deal with but took 7 or 8 days because of poor approaches and waiting for feedback.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09BYDH2BP

Looks like the cover ended up PG, but I think the paperback is different after all of whatever happened.  I don't like it as much, but I can change the cover in the next edition now that I understand the process problems and options and that will make the second edition rare like the first.

Sometimes there is nothing on this feed, sometimes it makes iceland, well iceland.

volcano feed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd05OQxG3gA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1I-0PUhFmU

So what was going on 2/13/14?  It's early in the conceptualization of time, most of this is nonsense today; but it does show some evolution, the first use of "ct" in this series of posts that I can recall; even though it isn't being used the right way.  Very interesting.

2/13/14

From USA TODAY Why can't we move faster than the speed of light? Why can't we move faster than the speed of light? Well, the reader's question was a tad more complicated than this, but it all boils down to the same thing. He wanted to know what would happen to someone if they were on a train that was already moving at the speed of light. If that person walked down the aisle, would they be moving faster than the speed of light? The short answer is, no. But it turns out, the real answer is more complicated than that. Physicists tell us that it's impossible to move at the speed of light, let alone faster than the speed of light. That's because, in part, mass and energy are really the same thing (even though we don't perceive them that way). And, as objects get closer and closer to the speed of light, odd things start to happen. What are those odd things? Watch this video of science reporter Elizabeth Weise's answer to this reader question. http://usat.ly/1kWbjTr Get USA TODAY on your mobile device: http://www.usatoday.com/mobile-apps

Let's talk about what is right and what is wrong about this from a NLT theory.
One thing that NLT tells us, based on a conservation of coordinate change, is that clock time 1 ceases as you approach the speed of light.  Since you would need clock time 1 in order to step forward on the train, it just makes sense that you would not be able to move from the speed of light (which is really only coordinates changing at a set speed) because there would be no clock time to use up to make the move.
Going back to the data-base model of our universe, we operate with a given set of hertz and cannot depart from it.

0/35-All this Greco-Roman History

0/35; should I go negative at this point?  Start counting up again?  It's a puzzle, it would be better to just get some answers, but nothing in the inbox today.

Down to 287 of these old posts

It is 5:30, I slept till just now, just enough time to feed the cats, make my coffee.  The cats are all around me for whatever reason.

The coffee is relatively fresh, just from last night.

I slept longer, but I have a slight headache, a combination of the long swim and the resulting apnea.

I was at 174.8 which is good to be back to this initial weight.

I'm a little surprised the 35 day thing didn't affect my sleep more.  I didn't post this yesterday so its -1/34 this morning, that's because of you.

I wracked my brain for your interpretation of things.

I moved my travel list to my calender.

watch charger, phone charger, 3 different headsets, one for exercise, swimming stuff and the charger for the headphones, just in case, financial issues to put in order (lists of those things which may not come to me automatically); hiking stuff....You?

My passion is unabated.  Accuse me of living in some fantasy if you'd like, it may be true; but if you can explain what it is like being together as a mere fantasy, what use do I have for reality?  Where do you find kindness or the right thing in this fact scenario.  There are sentences, fully formed in my mind screaming to get out, to take over this page, airports, ticket prices, the beauty of the high plains, the long walks, the quiet evenings, the stars that I can no longer see clearly spread out in the night sky.  

Where is the cruelty in this?  I can't take that seriously.  

The storms are returning in the Atlantic again, what does that mean?

I am not sure what I was writing about, it is February 5, 2019.

2/5/19

Greco doesn't appear to be the right spelling, but it's close enough for now.  I have been deeply immersed in reading about the east-west conflict and have now gotten just past the fall of Constantinople.  Happily, Heroditus' pot holes (see my earlier post) never appeared so its safe to say that in at least this web-log I have preserved what another historian has lost (since that's now around 1000 years in the past-timeline wise).

1 day/36 days non linear time theory expansion Part 4-some details

I should say 1 day past due; but I will wait till Monday to take any action.  It is a curiosity.

The 36 day thing is bigger, that looms very large and close.  You can imagine the trepidation and excitement I have on this, eclipsing the perhaps more important lifestyle-wise  1 day (1 day past due) date.  It sounds like a long time but thirty six days is not a lot of time.  There are dozens of things to do, lists to make; watch charger, phone charger, 3 different headsets, one for exercise, swimming stuff and the charger for the headphones, just in case, financial issues to put in order (lists of those things which may not come to me automatically); hiking stuff.

Had a weird dream of sleeping with someone in the wrong place in the wrong setting.  Wasn't a bad dream, but I'm not sure if I was the right person in it.

Been going back and forth with this 2nd edition (now published in e-book form and hopefully in the paperback version shortly.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09BR8J23R

Lots of corrected errors.

Is it easier to be friends?  That is a question I've seen asked, I think there is an answer to that.  Is it possible to chose?  Can you chose?  I think the answer is yes.  If you chose to, I think the answer is yes.  But what if you don't chose to?  Then I am not sure what the answer is.  I know what I am thinking, I have to turn away until the darkness goes.

I haven't weighed in a while.  I did swim 1700 yards, then walked two miles, it's wednesday evening and I have all of my required intensity minutes for the week.  I haven't eaten, no appetite; but I had a good sandwich for lunch and a granola bar besides so I'm ok.  Perhaps my appetite will return tonight perhaps it will not.

On January 28th, I didn't write poetry to you, there is no sign I was even in love with you.  All there is ar ethese weird observations that mean so little to me now.

1/28/14

derive some interesting results from this about the rate of expansion. Taking the value of 73 km/s per Mpc, you can calculate H0 to be:

73,000 / 3.0857 ×10¹⁶ (convert both 73 kilometers and 1 megaparsec into meters) = 2.3658 × 10^-18

So space is expanding at the rate of about 2.3 attometers per meter per second (an attometer is 10^-18 meter). While this may seem like a tiny amount, it can add up given both the very large distances and very large times common in astronomical calculations.

Consider that Hubble's law says that the farther an object is from us, the faster it's moving away from us. This implies that there must be some distance at which the speed with which an object is moving away from us must be equal to the speed of light. This distance is called the Hubble Length. It can be calculated very easily as c/H0 where c is the speed of light. It comes to about 13.4 billion light years. In other words, objects that are 13.4 billion years away from us are moving away from us at the speed of light. Note that this does not violate relativity in any way, because the objects aren't really moving, the motion is entirely due to the expansion of space between us. There are no limits to this, and you may well have objects moving apart at speeds of several times the speed of light, if there is enough space between them. Again, this is not the movement of an object, in space, but rather the expansion of space itself.

The significance of the Hubble Length and the Hubble Volume is that objects that lie within the Hubble Volume (that are closer to us than the Hubble Length) are moving away from us at speeds slower than the speed of light. So a ray of light leaving these objects today will some day reach us. On the hand, objects outside the Hubble Volume are moving away from us faster than the speed of light. Light leaving these objects today will never reach us.

Using some math, you can calculate the size of the observable universe. Figure out the distance to the farthest galaxy that could have emitted light which reaches us today, then figure out how far that galaxy is now, given the expansion of the universe in the period between when the light was emitted and when it was observed. Astrophysicists have done this, and calculated that the observable universe is about 91 billion light years in diameter, or 45.5 billion light years in radius. This is quite a bit larger than the Hubble radius of 13.4 billion light years. It goes to show how much a huge volume of space can expand over billions of years

possible to calculate the limits of growth of the observable universe. It comes to about 124 billion light years in diameter, or about 62 billion light years in radius.

what does it mean when you read in the news that astronomers have found the farthest object ever seen? The story says:

Astronomers have pushed the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope to its limits by finding what is plausibly the most distant and ancient object in the Universe ever seen. Its light has travelled for 13.2 billion years to reach Hubble, which corresponds to a redshift around 10. The age of the Universe is 13.7 billion years.

The dim object, called UDFj-39546284, is likely to be a compact galaxy of blue stars that existed 480 million years after the Big Bang, only four percent of the Universe’s current age. It is tiny. Over one hundred such mini-galaxies would be needed to make up our own galaxy, the Milky Way.

description carries several snippets of information:

• Its light has taken 13.2 billion years to reach Earth.
• We see it as it existed 480 million years after the big bang.
• The universe is 13.7 billion years old.

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