Computer problems dominating this morning, uncertain why. A lot of progress on many fronts, much to do on the ongoing work. Every day there is more that is done and exponentially more that needs to be done; will enough things come together? I spent a fair amount of time exploring savings, although I cannot be sure whether it is enough and exploring ways to reduce the pressure even as the pressure is the only thing that keeps me going.
Truly on the science front the devil is beguiling the details. I have found many of the details in the recent work and I am writing them up as fast as i can, but it is not enough yet and time is running out.
On my walk today, which took me to 100 im for the week and gave me my steps and stairs, I came across something that made me think of you. I wonder if I emailed to that abandoned place if it would give me some peace.
a lonely spot, I think lonely people can best appreciate lonely, abandoned places. I imagine now sitting here with you and perhaps that is why I wanted to share it on this blog, I suppose.
I was confronted with those chains which hold me today over and over again.
It is day 11. I just finished a 2000 yard swim. It is hard to think of going home without you. It is as if there is no place to go and therefore i would rather be on the road. Things are ok, but these are difficult and uncertain times.
I looked at the business numbers and they were worse than I thought they should be; although i suppose there is something I am missing, I cannot tell what it is. The sales, the grants and the interim measures are all out there not moving as I would want them to. If I got the grant, i know what it would have meant, but I have no idea what it would mean now. The science progresses, tomorrow is an important day after a fashion, but to what purpose do i go now?
I am insecure, impatient, overwhelmed; but I have my 2000 yards out of the way, i am closer, if not by enough, to meeting the next deadline and I have perhaps 5 or 6 months of runway as they say and things are not getting better, but they are not getting worse.
If only there was some place for me to call home, to go to.
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