Day 21-the end of the day

 The large heater glows red and blows out volumes of heat.  I feel like I am sitting by a fireplace, and indeed as the weight of history falls on my shoulders I realize that there is a line of different fire pits and places with people known and unknown around me.  They nod at my work, but they do not approve of me, did any of them not pursue you, I wonder?  

I will explore this topic more, it is dark now, there is nothing outside.  Instead of candles or torches, incandescent screen light around me, I need the blue tinged glasses from work, but I will make do because I have to; my eyes need to hold up, my mind needs to hold up.  If you were here...

The figures are not shodwy, like ghosts, they are real, just out of sync with me, they wear togas and suits, I beleive franklin may be naked, it is like trying to see cleary what is in a faded dream.

I have decided i was right and you were wrong, not that you made the wrong decision.  Not wrong for you, perhaps, but wrong.  I let you do this but not for the wrong reasons at the wrong time that you think.   It had more to do with those ghosts.  It was not for someone else, it was for this thing i am doing.  And could i have stopped you, of course not.  Still it should not have happened, although i suppose it will work out better for you.  It was stupid because I had been clear. My decision is because it is still clear.  You can love two people in the same way or as in this case in entirely different ways and for different reasons or no reason at all.  You cannot be replaced and I am not sure that anyone would want to replace me, half mad, perhaps half somethig else, lucky, clever or twice mad, only time wil tell.  It is funny, because right now I am waiting for what should be an indication of the answer.  And if it is something of great value, then you will have been wrong for another reason; but i trust your judgement, perhaps too much. In the end what i think is wrong is likely right for you.

God, but it is cold and wet and I have to swim tomorrow and leave the water dripping at my office.