In the distance, I hear sirens this morning; the haunting silence of the desert is gone. I have spent the morning clarifying, writing up a carnival example of electromagnetism that makes me think of you, blues and pinks, as everything does. I could spend another 3 months in the desert working on this, but time is very short indeed. That being said, I am closer to having something which is more than just a stop gap filing, regardless of how much work can be done.
Today I solved the problem of contact without contact, all because of laws that were punctuated with death in 1914, the first world war raged, but the lesson that needed to be passed down to me had been mailed in 1884.
These seem like small things to me now, indeed maybe they are small things, but to explain contact and the exchange of momentum without contact is a thing which makes so obvious sense and no sense at all. It had to be and it was, I could say something like that about us, it had to be and it was not.
There are 4 key claims and a paragraph which probably has to be a claim meaning that I have to cover everything else in 5 or 6 claims, fusion, time, quantum computing, electromagnetism, chemistry; each with a single claim; perhaps because it is well covered in prior claims, putting qc under time. it is absurd and even the us patent with its extra 10 only leaves two subcategories for each one; but these are broad claims, not yet with the specificity and direction they need for financial applications to be past the theoretical stage and there will be other claims inherent in these filings that will take place over the following 12 months, the never ending cycle.
There is a concept paper due tomorrow and i have to do outreach on another broad concept grant; but whether I have time for either before that short deadline remains to be seen. Since it is informal, I would have been able prepare something for the concept paper, but it turns out to be one requiring my science be developed under another grant and I have done this on my own, so it is not wasted effort as nothing is being done. I ended up asking a question about this, but not sure I'm ready to tackle this even if I can.
I am tired. I tried meditation but only stayed for a few minutes of 20. Your words cooled these fevers before but I cannot expect them.
The bells will tell me when to go on.
Even were I a good person Even then I would write so that in the unlikely world that you would look you could gloat that I still love and want you.
You could see that I stop in the critical work I am doing to save a phrase that indicates how much you mean to me, the only real thing in my life Even as I explained everything else.
How much different from the empty life if we could stay up making love all night and not just the messy love which I miss so much which gave me a reason to go on a light to reach, now extinguished. Not just that but the love of holding you of hours talking of nothing and everything of candles and castles we would light and visit one day, the love of sleep next to one another of waking in the middle of the night and, far from my current sleeplessness, glorified in the realization those snores were yours, those curves which I could wrap my arms around held you, the beauty that lit the whole world now just an ash covered ball rendered meaningless by the science only you could inspire that left no hope for me without you.
It is not lateby many standards, but I am waiting for a delivery that was supposed to be here 30 minutes ago and it is dark and not so safe as it should be here. There is little I can do but wait, another 10 or 30 minutes. What will happen to me here, I do not know, but I wait to find out, the delivery first, then the future.
No picture tonight, at least not yet. Perhaps I will return later to report some other event, but these have been very busy days, the kind that generate more work and I am already exhausted, upset that I am waiting in this dark and dangerous place.
No comments:
Post a Comment