my whole life is on the sharpest edge
on one side is an amazing new world
on the other side disaster
It would be like the tip of the finest pin
but there only appear two outcomes
success or disaster
An inflection point
All of those who need to see this mighty new tool
Have only seen what was there a year ago
A lifetime in the science
I have everything they are looking for
but they haven't seee it yet
even though they must be realizing it is there
I fall in love easily
but not like this
I am impulsive
I create the razor's edge
if only you could know
how much i loveyou
perhaps it would be enough
but how could you or anyone undeerstand
even if let you go, just a little bit
losing you is unimaginable
it hurts the sinews that hold my bones together
it is an unnatural state
i cannot wrap my mind around it
it flutters like the torn advertising cloth
ripped apart in the wind
something unimaginable
the pain only possible at the breaking point
that is where i am and where i always have been
I long to reach out to you
for protection that i cannot ask for
but which i desperately need
i wrote you poems
i stole knonwledge from the gods for you
I have done that and i would do more
isn't that enough, I think now
you have done none of that
yet you demand more from me
and right you are
for the universe will not be happy
till i am pushed past the tipping point
a blood sacrifice
all or nothing
one roll of the dice
by the one who has proven that randomness is an illusion
like your love
Sunday, February 23, 2020
Saturday, February 22, 2020
of course
The indoor pool reopened and I have struggled through the workouts. Yesterdays was both adequate, 2000 yards, and the worst in terms of im since I started, 600 and each of those 200's. I have been extremely regular in this regard, stairs and weights, then two days of swimming and back again.
I had a heart rate on the stair machine above 130 and used the monitor to see what it looked like.
I have a problem, if I stop for a day, I feel like I can never make it up, so I strive to keep going and going and going. And then there is you, and if I stop for a day I don't have the exhaustion to forget about you even for a few moments, I don't sleep; it is a physical pain deep inside soft tissue.
The article below reflects my frustration, of course you have it wrong, I want to yell, it's been available for you to read for over a year and a lot of modeling before that. And yet I am making progress. I have been contacted by and presented my model to scientists at the leading research institute in the world. My core group of engineers who have taken the time to look at my work are more convinced than ever in its accuracy.
I am moving forward with even more immediate, practical and more complex modeling and applications. I am going to be working on a speech in this blog, perhaps I will tape it this morning.
https://scitechdaily.com/gravity-mysteries-we-may-have-had-fundamental-nature-of-the-universe-wrong-this-whole-time/
“Scientific progress is serendipitous,” he says. “It often happens in a way that you don’t expect."
Losing you
I don't know if this is love or passion
I could argue for love
duration, the sense of friendship
but perhaps that is the detritus of our lovemaking
i know the solution
to spend enough time together to see
surely the passion would have to fade
in fact, after making love to you repeatedly
over the course of a too short night
there is a sense of enough
and in those hours that follow, what is left
the desire to talk to you
a strange loneliness when we separate
and very shortly thereafter, like buried coals under dry grass
the fire returns as hot or even hotter than it was before
there was not enough time
no opportunity for deeper feeling to replace
the cauldren
love cannot survive the fire
oh yes, it may be there under the ashes
but how can I believe it is the basis for these feelings
when all I want is to see you naked next to me
in all the contortions and places
which now seem empty.
I had a heart rate on the stair machine above 130 and used the monitor to see what it looked like.
I have a problem, if I stop for a day, I feel like I can never make it up, so I strive to keep going and going and going. And then there is you, and if I stop for a day I don't have the exhaustion to forget about you even for a few moments, I don't sleep; it is a physical pain deep inside soft tissue.
The article below reflects my frustration, of course you have it wrong, I want to yell, it's been available for you to read for over a year and a lot of modeling before that. And yet I am making progress. I have been contacted by and presented my model to scientists at the leading research institute in the world. My core group of engineers who have taken the time to look at my work are more convinced than ever in its accuracy.
I am moving forward with even more immediate, practical and more complex modeling and applications. I am going to be working on a speech in this blog, perhaps I will tape it this morning.
https://scitechdaily.com/gravity-mysteries-we-may-have-had-fundamental-nature-of-the-universe-wrong-this-whole-time/
“Scientific progress is serendipitous,” he says. “It often happens in a way that you don’t expect."
Losing you
I don't know if this is love or passion
I could argue for love
duration, the sense of friendship
but perhaps that is the detritus of our lovemaking
i know the solution
to spend enough time together to see
surely the passion would have to fade
in fact, after making love to you repeatedly
over the course of a too short night
there is a sense of enough
and in those hours that follow, what is left
the desire to talk to you
a strange loneliness when we separate
and very shortly thereafter, like buried coals under dry grass
the fire returns as hot or even hotter than it was before
there was not enough time
no opportunity for deeper feeling to replace
the cauldren
love cannot survive the fire
oh yes, it may be there under the ashes
but how can I believe it is the basis for these feelings
when all I want is to see you naked next to me
in all the contortions and places
which now seem empty.
Thursday, February 6, 2020
a paradox solved by aut and the true gravity
The weather has turned foul.
I did two days of swimming, stair and weights (going over 2000 stairs within the 30 minute workout); two more days of swimming and another day of stairs and weights, not getting as far with the stairs, but doing well with the weights and now the weather will force me into some non-specific undertaking, perhaps yoga, perhaps rowing, perhaps a day off. Well turned out to be 30 minutes of rowing, half my workout.
Things are heating up on several fronts and new modeling is changing dramatically. This is particularly interesting because it is both exactly what the model suggests and different after a fashion. What I would have hoped was further along, is more suggestive of what is observed at the ct3-ct4 level.
The article below is being funded 100,000 dollars to come up with what is already covered by the published articles of AuT.
https://futurism.com/massive-gravity-theory-universes-biggest-paradox
And we're doing this on a level below the level where they are looking with math.
https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/a30705493/quantum-mechanics-brain-dumb-decisions/ The idea is that with ct1 changes ultimately controlling everything, even if we have some control over a transient period in time we are ultimately driven to where the ct1 changes direct us.
I did two days of swimming, stair and weights (going over 2000 stairs within the 30 minute workout); two more days of swimming and another day of stairs and weights, not getting as far with the stairs, but doing well with the weights and now the weather will force me into some non-specific undertaking, perhaps yoga, perhaps rowing, perhaps a day off. Well turned out to be 30 minutes of rowing, half my workout.
Things are heating up on several fronts and new modeling is changing dramatically. This is particularly interesting because it is both exactly what the model suggests and different after a fashion. What I would have hoped was further along, is more suggestive of what is observed at the ct3-ct4 level.
The article below is being funded 100,000 dollars to come up with what is already covered by the published articles of AuT.
If it helps you to answer the February question, we've already done what this guy (https://futurism.com/massive-
In the interest of being a nice guy, I propose that he read any of the books below and split the grant money with me.
In the interest of being a nice guy, I propose that he read any of the books below and split the grant money with me.
https://futurism.com/massive-gravity-theory-universes-biggest-paradox
And we're doing this on a level below the level where they are looking with math.
https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/a30705493/quantum-mechanics-brain-dumb-decisions/ The idea is that with ct1 changes ultimately controlling everything, even if we have some control over a transient period in time we are ultimately driven to where the ct1 changes direct us.
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