https://youtu.be/OfxoM6trtZE
I am not assuming you will ever read this and i write to you almost every day, so I may not be able to excuse this.
I asked chat gpt (you need to check it out if you have never seen it but I am sure you have) what I should say and it said something about that i am thinking about you and am here if you ever want to chat.
I would like to speak with you, but my heart seizes up when I look at my phone as I often do and look at the last text or the last time I callled. I know it must sound absurd or even imature to you.
I am still your friend, hidden somewhere in this impossibly deep morass of emotions, although i love you too much, perhaps need you too much to be a trusted friend. I was that once. I dream about you more often than I would have imagined, including last night. So this is my present to myself this first night of Hanukah.
There is a prayer only said on the first night of Hanukah that thanks god for bringing us safely to this season and I hope you are safe.
I could go on for some time here, but I will keep this short since I am likely writing this to myself. Happy Hanukah to the love who is also my best friend, however lost to me you are.
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