Downtime

 I did not exercise yesterday, first day off in a while.

Weird dreams last night, three in space, something happened to one, and there was some sort of well down which we could be lowered to rescue the person who was dead, but each time came out somewhere else in some other way and finally ended up back at earth, but 10 years old.  Hard to understand what the old subconscious was up to, but it was entertaining and just scary enough so it didn't keep me up.  Actually slept better.

Posted my second book chapter yesterday in this amazon beta thing which is an apparent complete waste of time, but its allowing me to get a story that wouldn't otherwise be written out of my head.  If i get to an ending, I will be amazed.

There are some notes on the story so I don't lose them, but they're somewhere else now.

I wrote up "where things stand" and sent out a "wtf is going on" emails yesterday so that I'd be in front of some of the things I am working on.  I have quite a bit to finish and I am never sure if i am just getting started or reaching the end.

I fear my efforts since November of last year, a full 6 months up till now have failed in most regards.  The writing appears to be on the wall, although I have not been able to get myself to confirm it, the inevitability of  railing against an entrenched way of thinking, no matter how wrong.  Why?  People cannot admit to fault in their way of thinking even if that is what they are given as a job.  It is a crushing defeat, although I cannot allow myselfto be crushed or defeated and from the ashes there are coals from which to build a fire; so I will continue, with one, two, then another slew of the same; even if with the same effect because what is done has borne some fruit and it can be nurtured, it will get the effect.

Too late for me perhaps, it is very late.  I have not been as lucky as I had hoped, as skilled as I thought I  would be, nor as unfortunate as I could have been and while there is not time for everything, we have burned too many bridges by this point in our lives, yet there is time to do what can be done in the remaining time, not more; but not less.

I cannot think past this dark moment, but tomorrow the sun will likely rise again.