I got some disturbing news today. I'm not going into it. It has been a while since I've been here. My time is limited.
The screen is hard to read, my eyes have gotten much worse just lately.
I am going through withdrawals. Alright, that is spelled wrong but even when I get close and try to read it it looks right to me. By the time you get it it will be right. There will be other mistakes.
Where to start. I have reached out to get help, but I am not sure what that means, there are some conditions where the cure is worse than the disease. I know what I want for help, but what will be given to me? Will it come at all? I reach for things and they disappear like ghosts.
I don't want to be cured from the pain, I want to be cured from the things that keep me from feeling it.
I am falling apart. I feel my body separating into pieces because of what is going on in my mind.
I figured out the proton election interface. It was, like all things in the model, obvious once I saw it, although I will admit to a great amount of discomfort with the solution. If you ever see it you will understand. And yet, yet ... the universe spoon fed it to me, like it has done with some many of the complex answers, so many of the things I could never have done on my own.
The paradox issue, the fractal issue, the atom design and now this thing. All things I could have never done on my own, but the answer was given to me. Why?
I swam again tonight. I had no choice. I did not swim yesterday so I did not even have the broken sleep that passes for my nights. I was at my office at 530 in the morning, Id had coffee, breakfast such as it was and I cleared out the weeks built up emails, and I wrote down what I had been given in the night and then I drew it out and now I'll edit the drawing. I don't have enough time.
I have seven days, a handful of working days left. I don't know whether to do this by halves or try to do it right or not at all, but I think I have no choice but to try for something, and halves are all I have to work with. There is only half a life left, only half of me, I'm am more than half blind but I passed my last physical, they don't care if you're blind as long as you don't have a high white count.
The mental pain turns me to physical pain, the physical pain turns me to exercise, the exercise gives me low blood pressure.
I am alone. I have the answers to the issues raised in this article:
https://scitechdaily.com/quirky-response-to-magnetism-presents-quantum-physics-mystery-there-must-be-some-exotic-physics-going-on/
I had the rough answer before, but the detailed answer was spoon fed to me after I had a rough edged version which I had some time ago.
On the curvature of space, there is this: "... “space-time tells matter how to move; matter tells space-time how to curve.” How this relationship plays out at the quantum scale is not known."
This article is from Princeton: https://physics.aps.org/articles/v13/s114
It is frustrating because I know exactly how this happens and I have written it out. I have a 10 or 12 line summary, I will post it soon. It is all in the book, or most of it, the reconciliation of the black hole is not anywhere except in an unpublished video and it will appear in the next patent. Then underlying science is all there, the universe did not spoon feed it to me, at least not in the same way. I was in the hot tub and the solution came to me and I tested it and it was good, but it was not spoon fed, except to the extent it was spoon fed into my brain.
So I am 7 years ahead of MIT and Princeton, but I have no support. Perhaps it is my attitude, why doesn't the universe spoon feed that to me, or happiness.
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