30,000 feet an old poem

I flew over your city at 30,000 feet
its dome and crescent clear
beneath a scattering of cotton ball clouds
the city, the river and the area west
spread out before me, beautiful, recognizable
somewhere down there was the woman I love
denied to me as I am denied to her
the very things that bind us kept us apart
wondering if she ever thinks about me
in the same way that I think about her
hoping both that she does and does not

I hope she found her smile again without me
I may never fully smile again
but I will take the lessons she taught me
and I  spend my days in selfless service
a memory, a fluttering of my heart,
oft repeating flushes of longing
are all things I see far below me

if fates are kind and they never are
for they only give what they eventually take away
all things beautiful and worthwhile are fleeting
youth, health, friendship, passion and love
mostly it is love, the eternity that is pain for you
even were it mine to take away
but if there is a kind fate
one day I will hold your hand
and look into your eyes
and you will understand me