13 days post election of the apocalypse date 345

I am ready for another sleepless night.  I wrote that before waking up at 3.  Im thankful for the extra hour of sleep.  

After yoga this afternoon, a very easy workout which alleged it was going to be intermediate, but fortunately was not, I felt a lot better.  I would love to share the details, but you would not love to hear them.

I have dark circles around my eyes, but I cannot sleep yet, I have to try to sleep more along a normal time frame.

Seamlessly.  That's how I moved from sleep to awaken how i moved from physics to chemistry how i moved from hope for us to despair. If it was not so could i sleep again?

I comfort myself with comparisons to when disaster seemed imminent, when the pieces of the puzzle seemed like they would not go together,  everything came seamlessly together but there has been no profit to it.  I'm too old for this.

I have no choice but to move forward and those who work with me are all young enough to take up the slack if I can just tie this off to something.  A ship taking a chance over a sandbar, it is safety or death.  I have been here before, I have seen others ride out the storm.

 I wrapped up much of my work to make room for the physics and rid myself of the burdens, although this means that I have replaced distractions with economic uncertainty, one looms large on the horizon,  

I have a plan for that, but I have to wait for it and in the interim I need alternatives and that means the science cultivated over so many years has to bear fruit.

The dead economy makes it unlikely that I'd find a better path forward, although opportunities are constantly at my door.   If i can only chose wisely, if I can only make the  right arguments at t he right time.

Today is another big day.

I spent today writing draft letters for grant inquiries which are due in December.

Tomorrow, wait, that is today, I have a discussion about this, but uncertain as to the future of it.  I have to go somewhere where there is more support, I am in a backwater with little to say for it in terms of supporting my science although I am thankful for what I received.

I  am also expecting a call on the grand solution this week, a little surprised it did not happen today, well yesterday, but the delays tied to the election continue to dog me anyway.  The potential for help on the horizon is less immediate in terms of what I can do then the alternative..  With results as they stand now, I expect that eventually I will have my answers and January will be soon enough, although not soon enough for me.  And results today may not be the results of tomorrow.

I picked up writing again, but the book I am editing is being torn to pieces, simplified and compressed into vignettes.  I am tired, I dont know that this will make any sense.

This is one of the more than 300 unposted posts.

It contained this: A good examle of the pre-aut error on space-time and gravity

in reality, there is no external force.  Now I can say that forces reflect the underlying compresion all the way back to gravity.  It continues, and furthermore, Newtonian gravity, in the case of weak fields and nonrelativistic speeds, is due almost entirely to how time is distorted. Not space.  This is exactly the opposite of what is true.  At least that is  how it appears to me, because in the end, time is a dimensional effect.  But then perhaps I meant something else. Interesting.

Like death, I have most of the answers, but perhaps i am not asking the right questions.

I dont feel particularly healthy, maybe it is the hard swim i did a couple of days ago and he delay in getting ear drops, perhaps it is the plague, the flu or just the effects of exhaustion.  I wonder how many hours sleep I will get tonight or if i will sleep at all.