screw up

There are a lot of screw ups in my life.
as there are in yours
Hooking up with the wrong person
Not hooking up with the right one.
Financial screw ups
Even now when things appear lined up again
some of the numbers
the financial ones,
seem to be wrong.
What's with that?
And yet, while gasping for air
on so many levels
day in and day out
often involving real air
worrying about choices
those made in the past
and those yet to be made
those which are not mine
but those who depend on me
cause me worry
about what I am to do
whether on time or too late
wondering if I am exercising enough
eating right, too much or not enough
the future past the present
the huge amount of work I have to do
and the possibility of getting everything done
on time or too late
for what I want
perhaps what I need
even with all of that
for a short moment
 I am breathing easy
when I worry about what is
and what is not yet
I can say that when I look at the immediate
I can breath deeply
everything is done
everything is paid for
there are opportunities
for freedom even
the woods are dark and deep
and I have miles to go
so many obligations
so much a stretch of my abilities
but they are things I can do
they are things I have to do
some I will finish
so will have to wait
and together
they and the unknown
will form my future
I have to make choices
pursue this or drop that
but they are now my choices
now more than ever
I have an initial group
which is as much as i can do
what I have to do
what has to be done
my legacy work
the work to pay for the legacy work
and there are the emotional choices
for better or worse
those I want
and those I need
but for the moment
all will have to wait
for sleep requires me
and for now I have my tea
which I will sit and sip
and hope that these words
find fertile soil