not physics

So somehow I got a little ahead of myself and have nothing to write on physics tonight.
I ate badly, had a desert item, not sure what brought that on, we'll chalk it up to depression although I think that's a lame excuse.  Could have eaten an apple and been all, look how healthy I am, especially after swimming 2000 yards, but no, I had to eat junk.  Might as well go out and shoot myself...with a cake gun.
After a whirlwind what the fuck are you doing tour last weekend, I'm not even trying to get my life in order.  I left so many loose ends that Monday was like, why not just crawl back in the womb and start all over again.  On top of that one of my friends died, an older friend, but still, wtf?
So anyway, today spent most of the day trying to get relief supplies to puerto rico and may have had some success.  That's a pretty crazy charitable thing to do allthough there's a little profit involved, but eveyone has to make a living and I don't know how much of that (if any) will be paid and its not part of my gig.
So the idea is that everything is going the way that I want it go, before the weekend starts, but not that way that it should have gone.  That sounds confusing, but imagine you're getting everything you want, but you have to harm someone else to get it.  Not cool, right?
So what do you do?  There is no right answer at that point in time because of an imbalance between duty, love and charity which is caused by selfishness.  How is this possible in a pre-determined universe?  Let me address this issue, if for no other reason, than to give me a why the fuck did I do what I did frame of reference.
Now you can argue that in a physics based environment, its the results that matter.  I say, probably not and I understand the universe better than anyone else alive.  And you say, in an absolute universe, it should be all for gain, right?
That seems right, but maybe its not.  Let's talk about that.
In a unvierse where instant gratification is the key you do what you need to get what you want and consequences are secondary, if that.  A quantum universe and a universe absent true good will both point towards this outcome.  So let's come up with a quantum universe reason why not.
First, I don't think you'll find it in the physics, at least not at first blush.
We exist by virtue of a single variable universe where all events are predetermined and self awareness is an illusion, albeit a strong one.
So where do duty, love, charity fit it to this analysis.
First duty, the easy one.  The illusion suggests that we are free to act, but that our actions have already been determined.  Hence, according to the rules of our life we are free.  The idea that we have to act according to some solution does not change our right, it merely says that absolute right and mathematical obligation are separated by virtue of perception.  Our time in control of our own actions exists within a very narrow timeframe, and while the value of x is very high in terms of what we consider large numbers, in terms of the age of the universe, it is virtually insignificant.  Indeed, the very abasence of any lasting effect in terms of area and duration is part of the reason that the illusion is so strong, it has no significant effect on the universe.  Indeed, you could have a self determining civilization in reality on any individual planet and the odds of it having any real impact on the universe as a whole would be zero.  That is true of an entire solar system since even the destruction of that system within the universe would have a negligible overall effect of information beyond the regional level which would level out over distance and be insignificant over time altough gravitational fluctuations might be created which would have insignificant impacts at any distance, galactic distances for example.  It would have an impact at compression events, but it cannot happen in the AuT universe.
What this all means, however, is that within our absurdly short and absurdly close zone of influence we have the exact same choices in an AuT universe, with the same results as in a faith based universe.
The universe is based on order.  We reflect that just as our foot-lower leg-upper leg-body ratios reflect Fibonacci series, at least after a fashion.  If it were not for this internal order, even during compressive changes, the idea of organized organisms would not exist.  We owe our illusory self determination to the underlying order that forces us towards a form of order and imposes a sense of duty on us that we are free to ignore, but which are predisposed towards.
Let's then turn our minds to charity and love which I will argue briefly are two sides of the same coin.  Charity without love is another name for duty and we've addressed that at least in one superficial manner.  Love doesn't require charity, but if you do not love with good intentions, then it is something selfish, say sexual gratification, self protection and all the other things which are not love at all.
Hence if I give up love for some charitable reason, I am neither moving towards or away from love, but merely exchanging one form of love currency for another.  To the extent any selfish motive interferes, that reduces the love, but in the absence of any other motive, love and charity are interchangeable just like energy and mass; or according AuT space and photons, whatever.
But the question here has to do more with the obligation imposed by the ordered system, duty; and love.
The argument that I will make is that the two are interchangeable with the same exact difference, to the extent the actions are based on some selfish outcome, they are differentiated, but otherwise duty is interchangeable with love and charity.
It is an odd thing, love suggests one outcome, it jives perfectly with charity and duty.  And yet...every time selfishness is interjected, it unbalances the result.  You have to give up something, in order to be selfish, the duty/love/charity aspect is corrupted.
So, if I have some issue, it results from a selfish intent all other things being equal.  All other things are not equal, of courrse, the underying matrix imposes conditions of its own.
But next time you say I am not fulfilling my duty/love/charity obligation ask yourself, am I?  Or don't .