cat jokes

Yesterday I did my laundry, 25 minutes at a fairly hard level on the stair machine and 2.5 reps (couldn't get to all the machines) on weights.  The change in the weather eliminating swimming outside is going to put a large toll on my exercise routine; but not yesterday.

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/10/beyond-weird-decoherence-quantum-weirdness-schrodingers-cat/573448/

That article has perhaps the best S-Cat joke.  There are some other jokes below, but Schrondinger was wrong.  Here is the AuT version:

Now you are thinking that I'm jus reacting to the article, but this figure appears much earlier (well earlier than the article, anyway) and is described in great detail in book 2 and in the latest edition of the summary article which you should all be buying instead of downloading hundreds of these blog posts and which is included at the end of book 1.

But all you care about are the jokes, so here they are:

A longer version of it is: Heisenberg and Shrodinger are driving down the highway when pulled over by a traffic cop. He walks up to the car and asks Heisenberg, do you know how fast you were going? He answers no, but I can tell you exactly where we were. The cop doesn't like the answer and thinks that it warrants a search of the car. He opens the trunk and immediately yells, do you know that there is a dead cat in here? On which Shrodinger replies, well now we do.

But here are a few others:
Dear Cat,
Schrodinger killed you. I was framed.
Love,
Curiosity

Why did the Chicken cross the road?  If a tree falls in the forest does anyone hear it?
ERWIN SCHROEDINGER:
The wording of the questions implies the absence of an observer.  Otherwise the fowl's motivation might easily be deduced and the sound determined with specificity.
It is evident that the chicken simultaneously did and did not cross the road and the tree both fell and remains standing.
In the face of this, any speculation as to the bird's purpose and tree's sound until rendered certain must be viewed as sophistry.

A lost pet sign on a telephone post says: "Lost cat; please return dead AND alive to Erwin Schrodinger.

Shcrödinger's cat goes into a bar, and doesn't.

A man walks into a library, and says to the Librarian, “I'm looking for a book that's been recommended to me… It's about Pavlov’s Dogs and Schrodinger’s Cat… Do you know it?”
The Librarian answers, “well, that rings a bell, but I'm not sure if it's here or not”

Schrödinger's Hamlet: To be, and not to be, that is the question—