the grave

I was editing the next post  which primarily covers the relationship of fusion and compression (both the same thing except one only occurs at the ct3-c4 boundary and the other occurs according to intersection NLC F theory at all boundaries) but I was suddenly overtaken by a feeling so disorienting that I decided I should write about it.  It was as if, if you outlive me, you had walked over my grave.
It was such a feeling of insecurity, not in myself or my needs, but in meeting things, that it was disorienting in the extreme, almost like the fits of nauseating inner ear imbalance that I suffer from.
Then I was up for three hours in the middle of the night follow a dream that took me to dimensions unknown and worth repeating for whatever it is worth.
It started, as near as I can remember, with me swimming with a female attorney with whom I had just successfully done some work.  I was finishing my swim and it seemed to me as if I should have impressed her, the why we ended up swimming together being lost on me.  As I was getting out of the pool, I noticed in cracks (which are not there in my pool) tube worms coming out.  I should mention that yesterday while swimming there was an earthworm squirming in the bottom of my pool and using a twig I "rescued it" from drowning (what type of person rescues a worm, I ask you).  But these tube worm were getting into the pool where the other attorney continued swimming and it made sense that I should add some chemicals to increase the chlorine level (which by coincidence needed to be done yesterday and which I've since done this morning).  However in the dream (as in reality to some extent thanks to some tenacious black spot algae the pool seemed to be getting steadily worse.  The chemical room was unusually cluttered and what I thought was the chlorine container turned into some dirty unit for spreading chlorine the size of a wwI ship mine, but much lighter, with some questionably older pieces of chlorine tab in it.  An electrician friend of mine was there being (typically) obnoxious and he started an old car tape deck playing music and I told him to stop it lest it wake me and send me out in the night looking for the source of the sound for the pool supply room had somehow moved from the far side of the pool to being a part of the house, although that would soon change.  He demurred and the conversation turned heated and I banished him from the house saying something absurd, like "henceforth you are no longer to come to my house. You are banished from my house."  I do not talk like that except, apparently, in dreams.  I found no cholorine, but suddenly found myself alone and surrounded by clutter, not just in the room which had looked like an abandoned curio wearhouse but also in the yard.  The pool had turned into several pools which were occupied by children and all manner of other people were about, but everything was filthy and I took to cleaning up and treating the pools as best I could, the task seeming to be hopeless.  The house was not seen by me, but the yard had turned large and had a high chain link fence in such disrepair that I could walk through it.  For whatever reason I did only to walk down a steep hill to where an industrial area was with some famous people attempting to do recycling amidst the disorder and debris.  I had something from the pool cleaning, I think it was sheetrock, which I held up to ask where it could be recycled; although the reply seemed uncertain and in my memory I cannot remember whether they even saw me or not.  Headed back up the hill I ran into some elderly women dressed for the kentucky derby (no one mentioned the derby) and I was embarrassed by the clutter until I realized it wasn't my home anymore.  At this point I became frantic trying to decide what I should do in this dreary, dream dark, cluttered and dirty place which apparently was not even mine to clean.
The place shifted again, this time cleaner, but like a stadium that had been carved from a single block of something, with clean buildings around it, one of which was a casino, but no people who were familiar or who looked anything like me.  At this point in time I felt guilty for having banned my friend, and feeling that this guilt might have something to do with events pulled out my phone, the light of which I had used earlier, I think now, and called him to apologize and told him my very unusual predicament even as the surroundings began to change again.  I told him I would likely never be home again and to tell my family of my hopes for their success in my absence, but even as I spoke the phone changed to a more primitive phone as even the area around me seemed to change, the phone now having no buttons at all but only stone raised features where the buttons had been, although i remained hopeful he could still hear me.
Then I noticed a cousin of mine with another, fatish, old dear male friend, even thought the surroundings had turned more primitive, now with restaurants around the outside of the stadium which was crowded.  I stopped them and asked the friend if he didn't have something for me, remembering that he owed me a wager (which oddly enough he does, even though the circumstances and amount of it render it somewhat superfluous and something which I am sure will be paid if it is the proper thing to do).  However I notice he is not fat and he has just done the census, I'm told and wears a type of full face mask and an outfit including cones mounted on his chest.  He seems very stand-off ish and I ask him about the mask which he seems perplexed that I don't understand it as if everyone finishes the census and then wears a mask,  then I ask what has happened to him to make him so skinny which seems to give him great pain and he removes some of the cones and then the clothes exposing a body cut up like the pictures you see of a cow dissected to show the various cuts of meat and something causes me to believe that in this dimension that I have found myself that I somehow caused this and the anguish is so great to me that I finally wake up.
Anyway, I wanted to share that with you.

I am going, shortly, to post the section where the NLC Intersecting F-series sequential fusion reaction to maintain expansion against the force of gravity in algorithm form against a fixed universe is explained in more detail; including the  calculation of force, which for some of the occasions is relatively easy from 1) number of intersections vs 2) total number of spirals vs 3) the e=mc^2 equation  and 4) the length of intersection and followed by a period of gliding before (perhaps) the turning inward (at 90 degrees in the case of the linear (as opposed to curving F series) reflecting the collapsing part (which would indicate we are (even though it's been a very long time) in the pre collapse, post explosion phase (ct4-5 or ct5-6(maybe)) post overlap and pre-right turn expansion on the surface of a spiral (as opposed to balloon); but you will have to wait a little while for this.  Suffice it to say for the moment that it will be posted soon assuming I don't decide to give this up or find myself in a dimension without a computer.