anger and frustration; china and non-linear time

I was angry tonight.
I thought the poem was pretty good, but the fact there were no comments on that did not really surprise me.
However, I am very disappointed with the Ukranians.  Yes, you are fighting for your freedom, your very survival.  I am glad to have provided a diversion to you.  But for a while there, just a little while I thought you'd post a comment or two about the book that seemed so popular in Ukraine, but nothing.
But you are fighting for your freedom, my friends in Ukraine, so I forgive you and admit my frustration with you should not arise to anger.
However, I'm still really angry
I'm saving most of my venting on China for some time in the future.  But my country is run by idiots.  I don't so much mind them throwing money from NSF at different economic projects, but for them to deny mine when it is not just the study of this problem but the solution to it, is unforgivable.  Our country is run by bureaucrats who should be in charge of public park, much less the national security and economy.  I understand that they may not want to pay me, but they should recognize the need for the solutions I set out or at least come up with something better if they think it possible.

That, I can't forgive, that I cannot let go.  That is inexcusable.  However, I am not an angry drunk, much as that seems like a better solution sometimes.  Instead I channeled my anger.  After walking that horrid but grateful beast I came back sweating, sweating mind you in October!  Global warming on top of everything else.  And I said, I'm exhausted, all I want to do is go to sleep.  But it was only 7:30.  So instead of venting or going to sleep (at 7:30) I went swimming and surprised myself by putting in 3,000 yards at a hard pace.

I'm not happy now, you are lucky not to be around me.  I do feel much better.  My level of frustration is almost unbearable on so many different levels.  But I have written my treatise on China's weaponized economy and perhaps the economics of my situation will allow me to develop the second version of it notwithstanding the lack of government support.

There is also the second edition of my quantum mechanical treatise which is finished and which, I suppose, the government will also fail to recognize since they are apparently incapable of recognizing any solution which is elegant, requiring it somehow be too complicated to understand to be worthwhile.  Perhaps, I'll have to finish these working for the Chinese.

And, to be honest, the fact that the chChineseconomy has overtaken the united states economy makes the ending that I gave to the zeno-socrates dialogs, that long suffering story that the Ukranians abandoned me on, much more poignant and I can feel better about not changing it now.

 And after all, there could be peace in my life notwithstanding the end of all things as I know it and as you know it and it has been so long, so very very long since I have had that and which is the think that I miss the most.