Managed to get my swim in. It closes on the 22nd till the 29th, apparently. It left me tired but I still spent the time necessary to get the input of the editing started, then was sidelined by a recurring upload problem with microsoft.
I have said I'm going to cover what is really immediate in the work I'm doing; not that it isn't all immediate. I wish I could share the references with you. It is not because it would change things, change has to start here and perhaps, well no matter. Your choice was made the night you killed me, I suppose as was mine the day I died.
Looking close the mountains in the distance are on fire in the light of the setting sun.
More bad news today, not at all a problem for the science and expected but it was and is hard. Again in a few months.
Knowing what love means doesn't mean knowing what to do next or how to deal with disappointment.
I promised to share what I am doing and how important it is, now I feel I have to say if I make it till then, if I can see, if I can care, if I can accept all of the rejection which seems to be the only thing I have in due course.
I will get to this in due course, but I am tired and I cannot believe it is this time, even as I stand here with the cold wind blowing, alone is a way that is only easy to imagine if I am truly alone, those around me seem to see through what is left of me, a dead soul wandering the earth carrying the chains I made in my life. Is there no way to go back, no way to start again, to atone?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky0rO7pM3WI
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