everything is foreign

I have been disengaged
from my expectations
sufficiently so that I
am disassociated
from the events
around you.
even the expected
is unexpected
a traveler
the familiar
melting like a dream
There is no place
there is no time
not dissolving
under its own weight
it is like being in love
but without the joy
I experience this
and have several times
in the last five years. 
A succession
(ok, a series)
of unfortunate events
a medical condition,
the completely illogical
actions of a company
the completely logical
actions of a person.
Swimming
the timing mechanism
(words and music)
came and went
without me hearing
the water is gone
I don't remember
the water
I do not even feel
the water
and yet I am wet
so I must have swam
There are many things
that I feel too deeply
foreign and non-existent
time long past when
things that should
have happened
and some that did
go by un-noticed.
And now everything
is foreign to me
I barely feel my skin
The sky is like a screen
my memories
at once sharp
and like those
of someone else
I am not where
I belong tonight
alone, scared
uncertain of you
of everything
foreign to me