A break from physics to muse on rivers

It may be a few days before I work out how I want to treat with the matter anti matter question.
For the moment, I am distracted by events, getting  ready to submit a book to a writers conference for which there is little benefit to me other than in the pursuit of a differentiated life which may require finishing this book, which you can already see in a poorly published form.
I can only use the first 1500 words so it is little enough to edit but there is much to edit in the entire book.
Instead of working on it, I am drinking my coffee and ruminating.
I have noticed that on the coast the rivers flow in two directions, depending on the whims of the moon, while far in land they only flow in one except in times of great duress.  There is a  daily season to one and the other seems to drain a never empty fountain.  I suppose one day these rivers will be dry and you will be able to look at the dry bed of one and say, it flowed forever downhill while the other seems to be uncertain, going in this direction and that or perhaps all rivers die going in one direction at the last, slaves to gravity.  Is there a metaphor in that,I wonder.
My books and my physics are an attempt to change the flow of my river. If I could live my life again, I would want to end it as the pilot one of these tugboats and when it docked i would  write my stories and play my guitar and not think of deep things, perhaps i would smoke to kill the monotony of life as the river carried the final years of my life  inevitably down stream.
I would never see the people who surround me today, would never wonder what they were doing or how they were doing it.  I would keep my eyes to the river and the piers and I would not strive for things men were  not meant to know.
I would pilot the giant engine with its storeage of rooms and tanks that exist in order that it might continue its work and which would serve as a noisy place of employement and afterwards a quiet place of retirement bouncing lightly on the waves as the water carried out its required abulations depending on its requirements and the moon.
It will be hot today and there wont be the benefit of the cold swim of yesterday morning, 2400 yards worth which left me sufficiently tired that I did not worry with time so much.  Today I will spend in the heat when I leave this river and I will scribble notes on the matter antimatter question as I try to make sense of an environment that is not wholly governed by our logic but which hopefully is governed at leasst in part by our math.