I am pretty sure that I can build a fusion reactor that would work. I wonder what will happen when I reach the end of this thing, the "end of the runway" as it were.
I have a decision to make as early as next week. wait for the help I probably need or just plow forward like I have always done, apparently successfully.
I am the tip of the spear, necessarily alone, everything behind me just adds direction and momentum, but I am alone up here. Too impatient to wait for help, too conceited, perhaps. I should care, but I don't the problem with conceit I suppose.
You should see what I have been reduced to riding around. A vehicle that would be at home in any third world country; although it is surprisingly durable and reliable and the a/c actually works sporadically, but only against a heat of around 80 degrees. After that it just dies and it is so moldy inside, well I will probably die of some sort of lung disease.
But I have patents to file in a couple of months, I am barrelling towards that; the first pct, the most advanced patents covering drawings that no one has even seen yet. I have to summarize those, there are 40 pages of drawings and the pct has a maximum length of 30 pages. My attempts to subcontract that work are...well not working.
I have not weighed myself recently. That is sort of weird. But I swam again yesterday, 2200 yards, and my clothes are all falling off; I have been eating light in the summer I am not getting fat whether I am getting skinny or not.
I am not living in terror, not yet. I have been there before. No I am living in something else right now. Overwork, nervousness, Obscurity, pouring my resources into this thing; mainly time that could have been spent doing the things that make me money...but to what end legacy wise? No, it is far better to run this trap; save mankind, die in a gutter if that is what the universe requires. Good company there, wasn't it Archimedes who died by the sword in a conquered city he was charged to defend? He is remembered for his genius; but where did it get him? If he had a family what happened to them when Syracuse fell? What happened to his tomb which was so famously decorated?
He worked with spirals too, the right one for his time I suppose and he was recognized, except when it became most important. who was the guy who killed him? For some reason I think history omits his name. Perhaps that is where I will end up; an anonymous end.
He died protecting some drawing in the sand, perhaps it was like mine; the universe not ready to accept it yet. I am holding my hands over the dust just like his. These words, perhaps, belong on my tomb; "...sed protecto manibus puluere 'noli' inquit, 'obsecro, istum disturbare," obsecro istum disturbare, the words of those who die in the gutter believing there is something important there whether there is or not.
Of course, I dont belong with those famous names. Even if I am right, there is some history thing that is satnding in my way. My personality perhaps, my inability to reach out, my unrighteous indignation that I carry everywhere I go.
But where was I?
There is a very different atom out there, my atom.
An atom based on math and logic; not superstition and habit.
One day, someone will write an article based on mine and everyone will say; oh he is the genius, for copying me he will become the brilliant scientist. The swordman and not the scientist will finally be famous and the world will be properly upside down.
Fractal mathematics are specifically seen in the universe at the smallest scales and at the largest. If we ignore the iterated equations, we end up with models of sub-atomic particles which are based on largely random observations. If, on the other hand, we recognize the mathematical results inherent in the underlying observed iterated equations we can literally look at galaxies and model atoms subject to the unexpected changes in base numbering.
Hence these pictures are more significant than the writers suspect.
Space.com: This Gorgeous Spiral Galaxy Photo May Hold Clues About Our Milky Way's Inner Workings. https://www.space.com/barred-spiral-galaxy-hubble-image.html
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