33 days to next deadline! apocalypto 381 Quite Groundbreaking

I went down for a few days with the brain tumor thing.

I am neither better nor worse, but I figured I would pick this up because it has been a while.

The promise of prior days did not materialize so there was a great deal of failure in the last few days.

If I have been dealt a serious setback, undeserved in absolute terms, I did not have the luxury of stopping so I did what I could and picked up where I left off.

And the setback included this, independently and unsolicited:

“This could be an intriguing demonstration of the AuT model , Fractal Mathematics at the atomic scale and thus quite groundbreaking...”

Someone looked past the place where the science was a year ago and saw something "quite groundbreaking," and it is a rare independent recognition of what I have done, however poorly the presentation was received in absolute terms.

Two days ago I swam, the second hard swim in a row, then yesterday a minimal bike ride to the office and back and today a long walk in a warm sun, then the same bike ride.

I am moving on as best I can.  Can I say that you abandoned me when I needed you now?  I suppose the answer is no.

These countdowns, however inaccurate, allow me to see the passage of time, to exist in a place which is a little more real.  Just over a month to the next deadline is what this means, but also we are well into January since this is in February 15, 2021.  Indeed in 5 days we will have a new president, one way or another, a democratic house and senate for the first time in over a decade.

A lot is changing and it goes beyond me.  But I am looking at these changes which will allow the possibility that the dam holding back information will break and a second potential will occur.

I will figure out how to get past this artificial barrier that has been thrown up against me.  The company that has raised 190 million dollars that has no idea what is going on is my competition and that means it is no competition at all, except for the hearts and minds of those too weak to look for the truth.

But where was I?

I weighed for the first time in a while 3 days ago, still stuck at 176, but happily no worse than that, since even after a light lunch and a hard swim I was pretty bloated yesterday.  I am not happy about that extra pound; but I am relieved it wasn't worse and I do not feel bloated now even if I don't feel well.

This may be the last post from May of 2013, I'm under 350 unpublished posts for now.

5/22/13 the lost years-a fathers love

young work and old work
that is one thing I remember
my father sitting before the television his books in hand
his insistence that we work, starting at the age of 12 for me, 13 for my brother.

That takes me back a long, long time.  To another world, a lonely and uncertain and disturbing world; but one that led me to the world where I sit today as the sun fades and the cold comes back.