moderator

have you noticed how boring and circumspect this blog has become
it could be so much more interesting, do not think i dont have more to say.
perhaps that is a small source of my anxiety.
That and feeling a failure.
My ideas of what makes success and failure seem wildly out of kilter.
I have enough to eat, I am largely back for the abyss, I have written some fairly good books at last, porn, nostradamus once it is edited and perhaps the christmas story.  I figured out how time works and what the universe is.  You would think it would be enough, but I would trade places with a one-eyed successful person who has very little of what I want other than success.  It is, of course, easier for me as a one-and-a-half-eyed man going blind.

You don't see how hard it is to do what you think is right when you don't believe in yourself, or maybe you do.

Still suffering from a cold.  I have taken some strong decongestants and tomorrow I really  need to start doing something more than walking once a day.
On the bright side, I have had no coffee for two days and my weight has dropped to within 4 pounds of my  target weight.  If I am sick for another week I may reach my target
Can't say I look any better, but the back and forth of the pre-illness days has given way to something which appears more definitive in turns of weight loss, a threshhold crossed.
I did 25 minutes on the eliptical cycle, took ecinacia and elderberry extract, I'm drinking hot lemon and honey water.  I don't know what else to do that I can do.
I can only rest so much, I have parties to attend tomorrow, to give on Friday and then Saturday I give my pracice speech.

I have 3 version of the physics speech.  The ones online which I have made slight additions to, that is day 1.  I have a day 2 speech which is a neat little one-offer.  The way they work and you'll be able to see them online is the day 1 is pure theory and the day 2 is the observational support.  They are both a little too long but the key elements are there.

This is the only one posted: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owCGO_6spac

It too will have slides added, maybe a little rearranging, but it is much shorter, the theory more certain.  I am too sick to dictate slides, I tried. "Time, cough, is cough, not change, cough cough."
We cough cough live in a series of slides, too close together for us to realize, blinded by a view of only the top of realitiy, or perhaps maybe we can only not see the bottom two layers of reality, cough cough cough.  I cannot even type it without coughing.
Maybe all the medicine will help, but it will not make me happy.

And then there is the moderator's speech.

My speech, when it is finished, will be designed around being uplifting to others who like me toil in a light that only holds more darkness the better we see it.

The fear lies in the old physics, the promise in the new; breaking to bonds of the standard model.  Might be a little risque for the moderator speech.
It will, as a courtesy to the group putting the convention on, emphasis the importance of meeting.

I would like it to be:
As we look at AuT we will come up with amazing new ways to manipulate the universe.
It will be more like this:
While we will remained enchained by reality we will understand it better and be able to do more with it.

That is both true and false in AuT.

It is a relief to see articles like this, stuck at planck length and in preexisting dimensions and independent time.
https://phys.org/news/2018-11-spacetimea-creation-well-known-actors.html

I was able to speak with a physicist yesterday, a retired molecular physicist whose axe may not need as much grinding and came away no worse for wear which is encouraging.  We are scheduled to schedule to have coffee.  But I cannot see him till I am well.  Next week is Thanksgiving.  How did that happen?  No answer?  I suppose I could ask myself that same question.