up at 530, but had plenty of sleep; discomforting dreams. i lay awake from 5 to 530 working out practical applications of physics to batteries; or should i say wondering how to work the problems out. Breaking up dendrites, in particular, at least I have a model for that now.
i have partnership letters to send out (UM and the DOE list) which should go out this week, it is only tuesday. I started writing an article yesterday, even though I know that is largely a doomed task; I am much further along, if not far along enough.
It reminds me that I added some significant, self generating modeling which is interesting if not instructive. The problem with having things all laid out is that they are all laid out, there is no room for novelty and no clear explanation; this has to do with the plasma issue and the 5:5 problem which models well, but does not necessarily explain itself, it is too much like preaut theory and not enough like aut math.
it is cold and dark this morning; but when i got up i had on much of my warm clothing from last night and i grabbed pants and a thick sweatshirt. It is below freezing outside, but i am comfortable in here with my coffee having fed the cats and eaten cereal and drank most of a glass of water to get rid of my scratchy throat. I would like to build a fire, but it is a work day and I still need to repair several things, including largely irrelevant cracks in the fireplace, but they still need to be sealed.
I slept much better for the first time in days; fairly certain it was the swim. A faster swimmer was in the pool and it pushed my workout, he being at the end and therefore aerobic part of his workout while i was warming up. Not that he wouldn't have been faster anyway, it is upsetting, but i ended up with almost an hour of good exercise and an excellent nights sleep. The cold never bothered me, after almost a week out of the pool it was good to swim again.
There is a penetrating cold from outside, although I don't feel it much and the sun is rising which will change things. How not to die alone is the name of a book, but a better question is how to die with the one you love. Is it enough not to be alone?
There is this ongoing need to help raise a family, does it need to be a team effort, could it not be two players working for the same goal? I find myself getting used, i have been used in the past, but it only will get worse. I have to deal with this, as with all things, not knowing what the future holds. I will have to plan for this, I will have to figure out what is right and what is wrong, i need to deal with my own problems.
I was given extremely positive information relative to the property I need to sell; i cracked what should have been a very easy code on that one. Now i have two better options instead of one questionable one. The timing is good for me and I can start i 8 days which is a little bettter than I feared.
It has been a long day, I organized and edited and if need be I have a 100 page document and there are so very many problems which may or may not have solutions and which i cannot even share the burden of with anyone else. My time will come, I hope. If it does not, than my time will eventually end and things in many ways are much better than they were in the past, but all I can think is how much I want them to be our problems and not mine; our successes and not mine, our hopes and dreams and not mine.
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