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Saturday, April 2, 2022

4222

 A weeks worth of intensity minutes yesterday, 2 rides and a 3 mile walk,  exhausted me. Also a long technical meeting to end the day. Missed the alternate swim day but tomorrow will be soon enough unless I muss it for some reason. So tired and cold but did eliminate an old and troubling headache.  Why so exhausting?

This was the end of 6 rides, 5 walks and 2 swimming 🏊‍♂️ in the past 7 days. That was a lot of exercise all I wanted to do was lay down.   I know what you're thinking,  "no weight lifting" and you are right. there was a little of that in the rock climbing which was in the last 7 days but not enough.   That would have been the 14th thing in 7 days but I took off my watch for it for safety. 

I am having some trouble with this entire level of communication.  What might or might not be intended as simple communications are painful to me.  This morning i understand the reason for this compulsion and i must have said it before.  This is really me saying how i feel about you over and over.

Like you i sat by myself watching dusk come on.  Probably not like you, i wore a faux sheepskin jacket because despite the heat i was cold.  often i attribute this to swimming, but today i have to assume it was tied to exhaustion and nothing else.

This store brand coffee i am drinking is not as good as the other that i had and i have a local product of some unknown quality but allegedly special out of town version with unfortunately unground beans; but this is good enough for today and probably better than what i grew up with in high school.

There was a lot of relief in what was done today, although things had for some time been under control, they have gotten steadily better and this is one of those landmark changes although things may certainly change and get better or worse.  But there is no way to relish these moments without you.  How is it possible that I would rather be under some fatal pressure with you than in this other place which should be sunnier without.  What is wrong with me?

Perhaps I should ask what is wrong with you.  That does not make sense to me either.




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