364 20 27

Sunday.  There is nothing to say about this, but you know you could call too.  I'm not even suggesting that as a good idea, but it is a struggle not saying what I want.  All the times you called before it was to complain, I cannot say it wasn't warranted, but you can see where it would get exhausting and I am exhausted in so many ways.  

176 even, so one pound over the initial target weight, nothing to be proud of especially as this means that I am 5 pounds over the lowest weight I managed to get to.  Still, this represents a long term stability of sorts and while I have to concentrate on the alternatives, it is about where I'd have expected to be.  I waterproofed my wounds, physical and psychological and swam again today, but that is an ordeal; fortunately one I don't have to think about now.  Last swim I felt good enough to add another 200 IM, today, it was all I could do to do 2100 and the normal 1000 im and I never felt good, struggled the whole time.

Today was not be a day of rest.  Before tomorrow I need to have a more comprehensive plan and even a list of why and why nots for the different avenues of pursuit.  

One that was originally off the table is not creeping to the top of the list.  10 of the potential 10 remain good candidates.  Substantial write ups exist for 3 of those already and make up the basics of the other and I took my detailed todo list and added it to the template document which is now 71 pages long!  It goes with a draft patent which is even longer.

Then there are 2 or 3 for space, a couple outside of these and the two which are started for the planes, although the plane ones are incorporated into the 71 page document, at least that is done, but just reading over this stuff during the time allowed would be something of a struggle, much less combining them for their different purposes, but that is why I'm not worried about not having enough to do for the next 3 weeks!

I am having a half a glass of a twice recommended wine, left over from someone else, this is a dangerous thing to do, but perhaps not.  what is there to live for without you, anyway?