broke again-Chapter 1

I don't know that anyone has ever gone from being moderately well off to broke again as often as I have.  It's like I have a cloud hanging over my head and a ray of sunshine comes through just often enough to let me know what I'm missing, then it's rain and thunderstorms again.  Me, the one who has figured out the universe, who has defined god in terms of a mathematical formula.  Oh yeah, maybe that explains, the wrath of the almighty.  Of course I don't have a bone to pick with the almighty and my math models are just models after all.  Would god really want to take out everyone who builds model airplanes, boats or race cars?   I really used to like to put together models, that might be my next hobby when I hang up writing or when I finally get to where I can't afford and electronic pen and paper.u
And I'm not a very good broke person.  I'm like the bad drunk you know.  The one who cries on you or hits on you when they are drunk.  Me?  I complain about it.  I let it get in the way of my big plans.  Yes, that's right.  If I ever get rich, I tell myself, then I'll be able to do all those big plans.  What an asshole!
Worse still?  Yep, that's right, I may actually get rich.  And not buying a lottery ticket anything or writing a great book, although that's always out there.  Nope, it'll be through recognizing opportunity and having the willpower to come out of my impoverished depression and seize it!
Or maybe not.  At least I'll go down trying.
See, I'm convinced that I'm good at figuring things out.  Like the god thing, even though god doesn't agree with me apparently.  But I figure out other stuff too.  I think I have China figured out, at least some of the problems with government, what I want to do with my life, even though I think I'm too broke to do anything about it.  But its only temporary.  I'll be back on top again.  The world dumps piles of lemons on me and so far every time its over I'm standing there with a cool glass of lemonade.  And then the lemons come again.