You might not want to read this post, although the next 4 or 5 posts on non-linear time will be almost as earth shattering as the early posts which "rediscovered" Einstein's theory that the universe is non-linear and therefore everything happens at once in a dimensionless singularity. But you'll have to wait for that, who knows I may get bored and discouraged and never put it up at all (the good news is even the most thick headed physicist can take what's already been posted and finish it out, albeit without the panache that I might provide.
But today, I am discouraged. I don't care if I get the Nobel prize or not, since if I'm going to get it apparently I already have and if I'm not going to get it; my theories are to know purpose, just a waste of your time. Perhaps some setting would be appropriate. I finally managed to slip under the thunderstorms every day and get in 3200 yards which would otherwise be invigorating, but I have no purpose for it now, I might as well have been sitting in a dark closet alone with my thoughts for an hour, alright an hour and 10 minutes. I'm sitting and writing this while eating my dinner which is rotting cherries which are on the boarder of poisonous, but actually quite sweet in a half rotten sort of way. Normally this would bother me, but in my current mood I'd just as well die of food poisoning.
My current book (the one i am reading) on the Atlantic ocean is wonderfully full of tidbits and I just learned as much as I've ever known about "Americo Vespucci (or however his name is mis-spelled) someone who I previously misunderstood. Of course, the western hemisphere should properly be called Vin-land; but that would just upset the french, nothing quite as scary as an angry frenchman, oui?
Anyway, Americo was an adventurer and scoundrel who also wrote a pamphlet on a subject he knew very little about other than his very limited personal observations (apparently a racy 30 page thing) where he correctly put together that Vinland was a massive continent, thereby eventually, through the efforts of others resulting in the hemisphere being misnamed America. However, I feel Americo was something of a kindred spirit, misunderstood much like I am, he was referred to in later life as a pimp. Of course he is guilty of his sins, historical or not and I am guilty of mine, whether real or imagined and there are plenty of both; perhaps my greatest crime being that of self preservation and an attempt to make everyone happy which has predictable results.
Of course, I've already made all the mistakes I've ever made if I'm right and if not, why is everyone reading this? If you read the next posts on NLT, you'll see some of why you're reading it; others will be disillusioned.
That is the real insight into me, by the way. The part about needing to make everyone happen. The psychologists among you now can figure out all of the problems with me. It certainly explains my clownish (boorish if you must) behavior. It doesn't mean I don't care, it just means if you get too close to me you won't care whether I do or not.
Oh but I am no robot, and certain no hero. No there is too much of the self preservationist in me. I understood too well and sympathized too much with the villains in Titanic (the ones that were real and the ones that were not). And of course the coward dies a thousand deaths, the hero only once.
But I've got to get back to my bowl of rotten cherries and perhaps preparing for the next NLT posts if the cherries do not kill me, if I'm unlucky enough to escape that.
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