Strong enough

The book I'm listening to, the one with the author reading, who is so pompous you can imagine him looking something like a walrus, so matter-of-fact says that the end of human kind is a few thousand years off or at most a few 10s of thousands of years off, but that we know we can see the end and that it is close enough to imagine much easier than any of the more complicated things.
And if our time here is so short, if our end is so certain, then what are we sacrificing for?  Are we just programmed to be what we are, carrying out the whims of our evolutionary mandates, or, worse still, acting out a play, where we cannot change our parts.  Is that what it is, is it just impossible to change my part or am I just not strong enough?

Does being strong enough
mean that you are strong enough
to do what you want
or to do what you've been taught
is the right thing to do
or strong enough to do the wrong thing
does it mean being strong enough
to change what you believe
to meet your expectations
or strong enough to not care
strong enough to avoid pain
or strong enough to accept it
I am not smart enough
I am not as clever as I want to be
I am not brave enough
to take what is forced on me
and I'm not unlucky enough
to face the consequences
which might allow me
to become strong enough
its all so confusing
and yet not confusing at all
because I know what to do
and it is two different things
the curtain rises
I pick up my script
I know my lines without it
they form for me
whether I see them or not
blind I know what to say
I think of changing them
of doing something off script
of doing what I need to do
and not just the director's cut
of doing the right things
and what is the right thing
and am I nothing
if I am not strong enough
not just to act
but to know how to act
the dark night calls out to me
to me alone
act now coward
know what to do
and act to do it
leave the script behind
and chose freedom
to do the right thing
or to do anything